Enough already!

[U2democrat]

I'm sure many here will be able to relate to this rant:

Since I've been home from school I've had multiple people ask me, usually in front of my parents, if I've "met" anyone---meaning, do I have a crush.

I always shrug and cover up my insecurity and true feeling of lonliness by saying "Oh, you know, 19 year old boys, they're just annoying."

It's time I became honest with myself, I'm damn lonely. Up until recently, my best friend and I had been the only ones out of our friends who had never had a relationship with a guy. Well now she's in a very serious relationship with her boyfriend, in fact ALL of my friends have boyfriend, and here I sit, still haven't been kissed.

I really just want a companion, I'm sick of seeing all my friends being lovey-dovey with their boys and I have no idea what its like.

Sure on the upside I'm missing a lot of drama and hard work that it takes to hold a relationship together, but I'd like to have one for myself, see what it's like, and people can stop wondering why I'm always single and inquiring about my love life (or lack thereof).


I keep waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and waiting...how much longer do I have to wait? How much more patient do I have to be? I'm sick of the lonliness...I wonder at some of the people who are in relationships and I can't get squat.

I'm not looking for sex at all...but something physical...someone to hold me when I want to be held, keep me warm, etc.

It doesn't help that my roommate's boyfriend comes every weekend and I have to watch their lovefest 24/3 (Fri-sat-sun).


Anyway this is an unusually long post for me...sorry about that...just getting some inner emotions that I had buried out for people to see.

 

[anitram]

I think as you get older, you will become more used to these sorts of questions. Not that you'll be single forever or anything, but just during periods that you are single, you'll learn how to deal with this and shrug it off. People are really nosy and will always be up in your business. Just tell them that they'll surely be the first to get your wedding invitation someday and ignore the rest.

When your friends start pairing off, I know that's really hard because you don't want to be the odd one out. And if we're being fair sometimes we look at some of our friends and think, "well if THAT person can get a guy then why can't I?" But this is also a poor reason to settle for just anyone. A warm body is after all, just a warm body.

I know it's of absolutely no use to you for a hundred of us to line up here and say that you are young, you've got tons of time, you're smart and you will find somebody at some point. That probably doesn't do anyting for you at this moment. And yet that's the only thing that can be said.

If you are interested in somebody and you think it is feasible, then pursue them and see if anything happens. If there isn't anyone who has caught your eye, then there's really nothing to be done, I mean, you can't force these things.

 

[U2democrat]

I agree with all your points...it just gets lonely and frustrating a lot of the time, and I haven't been honest with myself or anyone else about the way I've been feeling.

 

[starsgoblue]

Since being away have you met anyone that you'd be interested in enough to persue a relationship with? It'd have to be a damn special person to be able to catch your eye, you're wiser beyond your years my lady.

 

[Techie2000]

You try and shrug such feelings off, try and not base your happiness about such things, you know it shouldn't matter, that you can't really control it, but yet it nags at you anyways. You see that guy (or in my case girl) and you wonder for a moment, then tell youself "nah." Words can't describe it, you can't fight it with logic, and you just wish it would go away. You want to talk about it, you think that makes you feel better, but even after you do, it really doesn't.

Sound famliar? Heh, I know the feeling. I've never had a relationship or been kissed or such either, and the only thing I do is just tell myself there isn't much I can do to control it, and then try and occupy myself with other things. It works most of the time. I'm surrounded by single people, so its not as bad for me as you, I assume. The thing that I've learned, is that people will ask about things, and you don't really want to talk about it, and you have to just kind of prepare a small answer, no big deal, just enough to get them happy that you've answered the question and then quickly change the subject.

 

[U2democrat]

No I haven't met anyone...most of the guys I know are either uninteresting, immature, already taken, or gay

In some cases all of the above.

I'm hoping maybe next semester with new classes I'll meet someone, I would like a first kiss before I turn 20 next november. You'd think that'd be plenty of time, but since I don't go out drinking and partying...who knows (Don't take that as meaning I'm going to start partying just for a hook-up...no way!)

 

[U2democrat]

You try and shrug such feelings off, try and not base your happiness about such things, you know it shouldn't matter, that you can't really control it, but yet it nags at you anyways. You see that guy (or in my case girl) and you wonder for a moment, then tell youself "nah." Words can't describe it, you can't fight it with logic, and you just wish it would go away. You want to talk about it, you think that makes you feel better, but even after you do, it really doesn't.

Sound famliar? Heh, I know the feeling. I've never had a relationship or been kissed or such either, and the only thing I do is just tell myself there isn't much I can do to control it, and then try and occupy myself with other things. It works most of the time. I'm surrounded by single people, so its not as bad for me as you, I assume. The thing that I've learned, is that people will ask about things, and you don't really want to talk about it, and you have to just kind of prepare a small answer, no big deal, just enough to get them happy that you've answered the question and then quickly change the subject.

Ah yes. I had been very occupied during the campaign, but now that's over, I'm on break with nothing to do but sit around and think, so these things have been picking on my brain.

Maybe if I sit around long enough I'll come up with a solution for world peace

Also I can't very well hang out with my friends all the time, as they are with their boyfriends

 

[Techie2000]

You can transfer to my school. 3:1 male to female ratio. Finding guys there is like shooting fish in a barrel.

 

[U2democrat]

Thanks but no thanks. I love my uni.

 

[Techie2000]

Ah yes. I had been very occupied during the campaign, but now that's over, I'm on break with nothing to do but sit around and think, so these things have been picking on my brain.

Maybe if I sit around long enough I'll come up with a solution for world peace

Also I can't very well hang out with my friends all the time, as they are with their boyfriends

I know the feeling. I was getting bored out of my mind and at one point started feverishly calling people on my cellular telephone trying to go somewhere with people since most of my friends aren't home and there is one more driver than cars at my house. I found two friends and managed to comandeer a motor vehicle for a night, it saved my sanity!

 

[starsgoblue]

No I haven't met anyone...most of the guys I know are either uninteresting, immature, already taken, or gay

Maybe that's your answer right there, hon. When you meet someone you deem worthy then maybe it'll be a whole new ballgame.

 

[U2democrat]

Yes, but how much longer do I have to wait to meet that person? I keep getting told "oh you'll meet them just wait". I've waited for a long time now...had a few crushes come and go, though not many as far as the average teenage girl does.

Unfortunately most of my crushes tend to be married men

But THAT is something entirely different and we don't need to go there.....

 

[starsgoblue]

I know what you mean. You sound almost like me, except I'm saying, "How many more assholes do I have to date before I find someone good?!"

 

[Techie2000]

Maybe that's your answer right there, hon. When you meet someone you deem worthy then maybe it'll be a whole new ballgame.

I'd say it is, though not fun when you find out they're not available...

 

[U2democrat]

sounds delightful.

why does this have to be so difficult

 

[Techie2000]

No idea. I'm thinking its why lots of college students start drinking...

 

[U2democrat]

That's just not my scene

I'm pretty sure if i went to parties and drank I probably would have hooked up with a few guys, but that is of no interest to me.

 

[Techie2000]

Sorry, that was intended as a joke. I don't drink either. I do other stuff, unfortunately none involve meeting one of the few girls that go to my school.

 

[pattip2000]

Hey U2democrat,

I don’t know if you saw the post a made on your “ I’m sick of being thought of as perfect” thread, but I was interested in knowing more about your church. I don’t want to interrupt your conversation here when you get a chance would you mind reading that?

 

[U2democrat]

Yes! I saw it thanks for reminding me I'll drop you an email.

 

[pattip2000]

thanks, i didn't know if you had seen it or not

 

[Techie2000]

Okay I have thought of a pertinent question that needs to be addressed. Where do single people that don't drink in college go to meet other single people in college that do not drink?

 

[For Honor]

No idea. I'm thinking its why lots of college students start drinking...

===



I won't exactly be hiding in my dorm, no. But I will be doing what I want to do, and not what anyone else would like me to do.


All I can say, U2dem, is that you're not really a lone in regards to what you speak of. The one things that may or may not pass for a relationship in my life has been kept so far under the table that no one reall yknows about it, and probably shouldn't anyway.


All I've ever had was a crush on someone, basically.


But you know what, I respect people with high standards (not to make you sound like your standards are too high, though). Maybe I should say that I just respect people with standards

Good luck with your hunting, heh.

I suppose I'm lucky, though, because I've developed a very "need to know basis" and infrequently disclose any information about myself, at all, to my family. I've got a silent reputation, so it's easier for me to avoid silly questions like the ones you speak of.

 

[For Honor]

Okay I have thought of a pertinent question that needs to be addressed. Where do single people that don't drink in college go to meet other single people in college that do not drink?

I signed up for substance free living quarters

 

[For Honor]

^ of course that will probably mean that kids are just more discreet about things

 

[Techie2000]

I signed up for substance free living quarters

If your college has that, I'd say that's a pretty good call.

 

[U2democrat]

My entire campus is dry, I like it

 

[Techie2000]

^ of course that will probably mean that kids are just more discreet about things

Now you're just being cynical. FWIW my college didn't have substance free options, but I know quite a few that do not drink that are in my dorm. Don't buy in to the whole "everyone in college drinks" cliche. It's wrong.

 

[the rockin edge]

why does this have to be so difficult

i've been wondering that alot lately

 

[deep]

My entire campus is dry, I like it

funny

i pictured your room mates as a couple of drunken (insert funny animal name here)