I was there last night, with you in that classroom. It wasn't making the best of this distance, for in that space and time I didn't miss you. Your feet were really on my lap, your skirt tethered nervously past your knee, and my circulation was absolutely off the chart again. In a manner that you can understand, that adds immeasurably to my own life, I want to tell you how your lips met my own, because they had to kissed in my own secret addition to last night.
And it will sound so ordinary, these words, but you know what they mean after last night's discussion.
Because at the door, to tell myself it wasn't a dream, and yet because the moment felt secure and offered a perfection of it's own, I stole a kiss from you last night that thrilled me, and held me to this incredible bounty who's physical encumbrance stalls me through the hours passed since. This kiss covered everything that hasn't been said since the first night I fell in love with you physically and forgot about these self imposed cautions..they are difficult ideals because I alone thirst to wet your lips, dry with your hot breath, with moisture from my own. The vessel was partially open, and within the shape that formed, the elliptical sliver offered a brief glimpse of the impossibly natural white rims run down from a roof that I've never explored. It was partially open, whether to form "stop..please", or to offer encouragement in the manner of a sonorous and telling moan, I shall never know, because, at that instant your lower lip protruded outward, full and pink on the inside, circulation of your own gushing, the two shade revealed more than I could handle, and my own teeth tugged nimbly, swollen with attention from their mistress's white rims all evening The lower offered resistance in it's enlarged condition. A sudden gentleness ensued within my own manner, and I took my entire mouth to your lip, to hold it, to caress it, to pamper and spoil it in the attention it demanded. The sliver opened ever so gently, and though timeless lunar gravity, slowly lost its memory and your upper lip, alone and forgotten, fell atop my own, as though returning back to its natural rest.
The cherished dimples couldn't be seen but I knew they made an appearance at that instant, I could feel the taut of your lower lip as your invisible smile led me on. I dared to let go for a moment, to look at the smile, to make an offering, and you would have none of it. Something was blurted in that distance by the both of us, again, It got lost in all the silent din, and then you exacted vengeance upon me.
we wrested each other in the gentlest and most draining tug of war, you emerged victorious and your mouth overtook mine. No longer held back by invisible manacles, both your lips matched my orbital velocity as we left the surface, you burned my tongue forever when you branded it with your own taste. Uncharted. The very same tongue spoke nothing of love, but of need, and of desire, as it explored my own.
Outside the cavity, the stars were not held in any suspense for they were witness to this crescendo. Your lips devoured mine, leaving us unable to close that final door of ultimate restraint. A charming horizon, the manner in which our noses accidentally passed by each other with neither party being chivalrous enough to yield. You canted sideways a few degrees, the upper competing with the lower. A ruptured cadence was in our thesaurus of passion, there was no pattern to either of us. The pink within, was a colour I could taste at this point, the fullness of your lower lip, lubricated, achieved it's momentum and became a language of it's own while I remained but a dizzied participant. A pressing alarm ensued within me to respond, but I was hapless in this ecstasy of your passion. You noticed this momentary paralysis and bit hard on my own lip, a muffled "ouch!" playfully came through. The dimples arose. Your eyes conveyed "you deserved it" in all their naughtiness, and I thought I couldn't love you any more then this.
You somehow caught it, the thoughts bordered on telepathy, and the change came over you.
Your lips, they softly smothered my pretense in their nursery, and I felt humbled that my own understanding was so limited as to attempt definition of our pinnacle of love a few moments ago. There was no definition to this, there existed no comparison and no scale to weigh it against. It was different as you like to say. You noticed, you notice everything, for from those lips cried out:
"listen to the rhythm that's confusing you"
to the rhythm...it's so simple
That's good stuff.
I've only just now gotten to the point where I feel like I could date someone else (even though I still love this guy) - but who? There's a couple guys I sort of like, but nothing serious, and to be honest, I could never make the first move unless it was really obvious the guy liked me. And I don't think either of them do. It's hard, watching all my other friends pair up and me being the one left out. I tell myself, oh, high school guys are stupid (I'm 17). But the guy I fell in love with was in high school (he's in college now) and I have good guy friends in high school that I don't see romantically but are mature and good boyfriends. I don't exactly have high self esteem in the first place, but the fact that for whatever reason no one seems to be interested in me basically kills any confidence I would have. I have plenty of friends, I'm a decent person, I'm kinda smart (4.0 GPA, but that doesnt MEAN anything), I play guitar and make my own music, I'm sorta good at art and writing, I'm not extremely fat or anything and I don't think I'm terribly ugly...my point is, I may not be very impressive or whatever but there's nothing really bad about me...I mean...I just don't know why no one likes me (though, to be honest, maybe the fact that I'm at a 80% black school makes a difference - cultural differences? my school is very "urban," even a lot of the white kids are. I'm not into the hip hop culture). It absolutely kills me that the only guy that maybe would have dated me is with someone else. That's life I guess.
