"DUH!" Moments

[xtal]

Blonde Moments

Ok, I'm doing a project. I want to make up a story of girl's blonde moments.
I have done really stupid shit in my life, but alas it was funny and it makes a good entertainment. I want to hear other's blonde moments.

 

[u2bonogirl]

I think I try and block everything out.
The next one that happens to me I'll tell you.

The only thing that comes to mind is the episode a while ago where by certain circumstances I found myself at the bottom of a hill after having rolled down it, gathered a thorn in my butt, with my boobs popped out of my tank top in somebody elses yard

 

[Souly]

I'm not blonde

...but I do look forward to stories.

 

[Windmilllane]

I know a lot of blond jokes

 

[the soul waits]

Xtal, I've got loads of those but I'm in denial I promise to post as they occurr, before I block them out, ok?

 

[tiny dancer]

Blondes have more fun.

 

[Angela Harlem]

I've got lots of stories, but you said you are only doing a project, not writing a novel.

 

[For Honor]

Me and my cousin both did it, and we are both guys....


Some one said "Yeah, we're going on a Celebrity Cruise."

Both of us were thinking it would be a cruise where you met celebrities, like movie stars, or athletes, musicians, etc. We sincerely thought it was going to be a huge boat full of celebrities and it was some special trip or something.


And then we found it it was just the name of a cruise line...
But oh well.
I bring this up, because for once we were actually having a "blonde moment", and my cousin Mikie always picks on his sister things like that, and Mike's the chess king and all that. But both of us fell for it, so we never live it down

But that;s alright. I guess everone is a little blonde sometimes...

 

[starsgoblue]

This one time....at band camp....

 

[discothequeLP]

This one time....at band camp....

go on. . .

 

[u2bonogirl]

It was a champagne flute. It really was

 

[cell]

:blondeatheart:

Both of us were thinking it would be a cruise where you met celebrities, like movie stars, or athletes, musicians, etc. We sincerely thought it was going to be a huge boat full of celebrities and it was some special trip or something.

there was a time that i seriously thought that too.

 

[starsgoblue]

go on. . .

*whispers in disco's ear*

 

[beegee]

i fucking hate blonde jokes

i think they're insulting

 

[xtal]

For Honor: It would have funnier if you had gone on the trip!

OH Lots of stories, please. It is actually going to be a comedy romance novel that I want to write.

Best story I've had so far: "I was at this bar and I was meeting up with my friend. I arrived a little early and so I perched up against the wall. I think I spotted my friend walking by, back faced to me, I run up and I confidently grab her ass. Now I didn't just touch it slightly, or pinch it, or a mere pat, but I grabbed that mother. She turns around and has this look of horror on her face. It turned out it wasn't my friend."

Another One: "I work nights at a nightclub. One night I am running late and very tired from the night before. I got ready quickly and when I get to work my eye starts itching and teary eyed up. My eye is blurry and felt like there was something in it. I'm freaking out, thinking I tore my last pair of contacts, I have to go the night without the other contact in. I tell my boss that I have a serious problem. I go home to find that I put one contact over the eye."
Top that.

 

[xtal]

As for my own personal one:

I was about 12 years old, shopping in Hawaii. My aunt and cousin pick up a tanning lotion bottle and sniff and say, "Oh smells good." I picked it up after and I couldn't sniff it very much, so I squeezed the bottle and all the lotion squirted directly in my right eye. My eye is watery and red from me rubbing out the lotion.
A moment later, my cousin and aunt sniff a perfume bottle. I go up and since I couldn't smell that much, I sprayed it- directly in my right eye. My eye was in pain. I couldn't even keep it open. So I don't know what I was thinking but I grabbed my bubblegum out of my mouth and put it directly on my eye, thinking that it would soothe it. Then when I opened my eye my eyelashes were stuck together and then I REALLY couldn't open my eye. It took us all night to put ice on the lashes to get it off.

 

[Bonochick]

I was trying to come back home after a Ryan Adams concert. After dropping off April, I needed to get on I-75 north to go home. From where I was, Detroit was north of me...but I'm so used to Detroit being south of me that I couldn't wrap my mind around that. So I saw the first on-ramp for I-75...but it was south, as it said it was going towards Toledo. The next on-ramp I saw for I-75 said it was going to Detroit...which, in my head, was also south.

In the early hours of the morning, I called my dad up, crying because I was lost.

Dad: "Just get on I-75 north."

Me: "I can't!"

Dad: "Why not?"

Me: "Both of the I-75s go south!"

Dad: "That's not possible."

Me: "Well, they do! One says it's going towards Toledo, and the other says it's going towards Detroit!"

Dad: "Honey...where are you?"

Me: "A Rite-Aid parking lot."

Dad: "In what city?"

Me: "Allen Park."

Dad: "And where is Detroit in relation to Allen Park?"

Me: "Nor-, ohhhhhhhh...!"



I will never live that one down. That's even worse than the time I got lost for a half hour after my attempt at going to a videostore on my own street got screwed up by me turning the wrong way out of the driveway to begin with.

 

[beegee]

my blonde moment is where i spend my days doing research for people who can't seem to manage on their own (they're brunettes, too! can you imagine that? brunettes who aren't clever enough to do it themselves!!)

my other blonde moment is being a mother raising a child on her own. (i sure hope i don't screw it up, though, i mean, after all, the shade of my hair does mean that i am too stupid to handle such a big job, right?)

 

[OnFire]

In the early summer of '97 me, my wife, friend and his date were in the parking lot of RFK stadium partying down before the U2 Popmart show, except for my pregnant wife who was our designated driver. When we decide it's time to go into the stadium, my friend's date hops in the back seat of our car and just sits there, forgetting that we were at the stadium already. We just stood outside the car and laughed at her until she caught on, which took awhile.

 

[Cassis]

For Honor: It would have funnier if you had gone on the trip!

OH Lots of stories, please. It is actually going to be a comedy romance novel that I want to write.

Best story I've had so far: "I was at this bar and I was meeting up with my friend. I arrived a little early and so I perched up against the wall. I think I spotted my friend walking by, back faced to me, I run up and I confidently grab her ass. Now I didn't just touch it slightly, or pinch it, or a mere pat, but I grabbed that mother. She turns around and has this look of horror on her face. It turned out it wasn't my friend."

Another One: "I work nights at a nightclub. One night I am running late and very tired from the night before. I got ready quickly and when I get to work my eye starts itching and teary eyed up. My eye is blurry and felt like there was something in it. I'm freaking out, thinking I tore my last pair of contacts, I have to go the night without the other contact in. I tell my boss that I have a serious problem. I go home to find that I put one contact over the eye."
Top that.

i've actually did that last one

 

[Muggsy]

what is a blonde moment????

 

[beegee]

umm, essentially, the phrase suggests that because a person has blonde hair that they are really stupid, and do stupid things.

i personally find the phrase to be incredibly insulting, but i guess it's not going to stop anyone from continuing to use it here. why this thread couldn't have just been called "ditzy moments" or "embarrassing moments" i have no idea.

 

[indra]

umm, essentially, the phrase suggests that because a person has blonde hair that they are really stupid, and do stupid things.

i personally find the phrase to be incredibly insulting, but i guess it's not going to stop anyone from continuing to use it here. why this thread couldn't have just been called "ditzy moments" or "embarrassing moments" i have no idea.

ditzy people have feelings too!

 

[xtal]

That last post, I meant to post, "I went home and found out that I put another contact over the other contact." Meaning she put two contacts in one eye.

I am blonde myself and I do not find blonde jokes insulting. "Ditzy moments" or Embarrassing Moments just don't sound as enticing as "Blonde Moments" so please just chill.

It's in reference to all the Blonde Jokes, which in its entirety, is not true. Everyone knows that hair colour is not physiologically to blame for being dumb. If you really believe that, then hmmmm....

 

[beegee]

I am blonde myself and I do not find blonde jokes insulting. "Ditzy moments" or Embarrassing Moments just don't sound as enticing as "Blonde Moments" so please just chill.

then you go ahead and make me a list of which stereotypes are ok and which aren't, ok? then i'll be able to "chill."

because goodness knows that just because you think its ok, that means i should too. maybe i should start a"fat ass moments" thread and we can all list off times where we were too lazy and tired to get off the couch. or how about a "gay moments thread" and we can all talk about how we wore pink and stuff.

a stereotype is a stereotype is a stereotype.

 

[U2SavesTheWorld]

It would be super if the name of this thread was changed to "moron moments" or something.

 

[Windmilllane]

what is a blonde moment????

That's a blonde moment

 

[zonelistener]

It would be super if the name of this thread was changed to "moron moments" or something.

Leave DON out of this.

 

[Angela Harlem]

That's a blonde moment

I think you've perfectly highlighted bonosgirl's point. Feel better? Muggsy's from Colombia. She must be one of those Colombians who do really stupid things. You know the type? Poking at them makes people like you feel good.



Muggsy, blondes are supposed to be stupider than brunettes. You might have heard of blonde jokes? Well an offshoot of that is what is called a 'blonde moment' where someone does something ridiculously silly. These are done by anyone, regardless, but known as blonde moments because blondes apparently own them and are the only ones capable, despite the fact that I know some of the stupidest, nastiest, cruelest fucking brunettes ever. Like blondes. And redheads actually... Actually, come to think of it, there's no norm! My god!

 

[xtal]

Got another:
Two girls are walking out of a bar. Noee says, 'Give me the keys, I'll drive, I've only had two drinks.' And Jade goes, 'No, I've only had one drink. And this is my car, so I'll drive.'
Noee whines, 'Fine, hurry up and open the car door then.'
The driver is fiddling with her automatic car door opener and peeking into the car. She notices something. She steps back.
'Uh, this is not my car,' She bursts out laughing.
They look over and the car is parked 2 cars away. People nearby are laughing, not at them, but with them.