Drunken Stupidity

[FizzingWhizzbees]

Well I got a bit of a suprise when I woke up this morning. See I went out last night and normally when I wake up the next morning the first words out of my mouth are "owwwwwwww" as I realise it hurts to move my head. But not this morning. Oh no. This morning I didn't even have to move my head to notice several objects in my room which weren't there yesterday. Hence the first word to leave my mouth was "ohhhhhh fuck!"

The objects in question? Three traffic bollards and a 5' by 4' for sale sign nailed to several planks of wood. I was forced to spend two hours in my horribly hungover state dismantling the sign and squashing the traffic cones in order to hide them under my bed. (I live in uni accomodation so cleaners or porters can get into my room and I wouldn't really want them to see the incriminating evidence.) Literally, two hours. And I felt a real sense of accomplishment when I'd finished.

Only then I went to take a shower and guess what's sitting in my shower? You guessed it: ANOTHER traffic bollard!

Then I opened my curtains, having carefully kept them closed all morning so nobody would peek in and see my new furniture. What do I find on the window ledge? ANOTHER traffic bollard and propped up against it, a bright yellow sign reading 'Demolition in Progress'.

So now I have two traffic bollards and a dismantled for sale sign to add to the other crap already stored under my bed.

I've also had to set my alarm clock for 3am tomorrow morning in order to quietly dispose of the bollards that wouldn't fit under my bed, under cover of darkness.

See, this is what happens when I get drunk. Hell, this is what happens when I'm sober a lot of the time. I'm not safe to be allowed out alone. I'm a bad influence on everyone I come into contact with. And today my best friend said it'd be nice if I was just a little less Fizz. I'll just be a little less me. It's a great idea. After all, I'm going to have to do something about this - there isn't enough room under my bed to hide any more of the fallout from my insanity.

*Fizz...who still has a hangover and has to get up at 3am tomorrow morning. And is trying to comply with instructions and be herself a little less. Blah. Bollards. Bollards. Bollards. BOLLARDS. (try it as an alternative swear word to bollocks)

 

[Krasno The Great]

Originally posted by FizzingWhizzbees:
Well I got a bit of a suprise when I woke up this morning. See I went out last night and normally when I wake up the next morning the first words out of my mouth are "owwwwwwww" as I realise it hurts to move my head. But not this morning. Oh no. This morning I didn't even have to move my head to notice several objects in my room which weren't there yesterday. Hence the first word to leave my mouth was "ohhhhhh fuck!"

The objects in question? Three traffic bollards and a 5' by 4' for sale sign nailed to several planks of wood. I was forced to spend two hours in my horribly hungover state dismantling the sign and squashing the traffic cones in order to hide them under my bed. (I live in uni accomodation so cleaners or porters can get into my room and I wouldn't really want them to see the incriminating evidence.) Literally, two hours. And I felt a real sense of accomplishment when I'd finished.

Only then I went to take a shower and guess what's sitting in my shower? You guessed it: ANOTHER traffic bollard!

Then I opened my curtains, having carefully kept them closed all morning so nobody would peek in and see my new furniture. What do I find on the window ledge? ANOTHER traffic bollard and propped up against it, a bright yellow sign reading 'Demolition in Progress'.

So now I have two traffic bollards and a dismantled for sale sign to add to the other crap already stored under my bed.

I've also had to set my alarm clock for 3am tomorrow morning in order to quietly dispose of the bollards that wouldn't fit under my bed, under cover of darkness.

See, this is what happens when I get drunk. Hell, this is what happens when I'm sober a lot of the time. I'm not safe to be allowed out alone. I'm a bad influence on everyone I come into contact with. And today my best friend said it'd be nice if I was just a little less Fizz. I'll just be a little less me. It's a great idea. After all, I'm going to have to do something about this - there isn't enough room under my bed to hide any more of the fallout from my insanity.

*Fizz...who still has a hangover and has to get up at 3am tomorrow morning. And is trying to comply with instructions and be herself a little less. Blah. Bollards. Bollards. Bollards. BOLLARDS. (try it as an alternative swear word to bollocks)

You're a girl? I think Mikal and you would make a good couple.

-Not CK

 

[zonelistener]

So, my question is, what is Fizz going to do with all of this stuff? How do you dispose of it? Where will it end up?

 

[FizzingWhizzbees]

Originally posted by zonelistener:
So, my question is, what is Fizz going to do with all of this stuff? How do you dispose of it? Where will it end up?

Well with one of the traffic bollards, I've cut lots of slots in it and I'm using it as a CD holder.

The 'for sale' sign was plain white on the back so I stuck it to my wall and it's my new Wall of Wit and Wisdom, which means anyone who walks into my room is free to graffiti the Wall of Wit and Wisdom with any interesting quotes, lyrics, thoughts that are in their head at the time.

The 'Demolition in Progress' sign, I'm considering sticking to my door as a warning to people that I'm a ridiculously untidy person and my room is a completely mess.

I'm so resourceful, am I not?

As for the other bollards, I'm going to wait until very late at night and then take them back to where they were kidnapped from. If there's anything more sad than walking the streets in the middle of the night with a kidnapped traffic bollard over your shoulder, it's walking the streets with a soon-to-be-returned traffic bollard over your shoulder.

Originally posted by Krasno The Great:
You're a girl? I think Mikal and you would make a good couple.

1-Yes I'm a girl. But I can carry traffic bollards just as well as boys. And I can drink most boys under the table too. *evil smirk*
2-Sorry, I don't know who Mikal is? Time for a round of introductions.

 

[Sicy]

LMFAO !!!!!!

This is great!!

Me and my dude Johnny used to steal all kinds of shit when we got drunk! We'd like, go into bars and be all.. 'hmmm what can we steal' as sort of a prize or whatever. I have signs from Hotels, fire exits, beer signs, numbers from gas station boards.. etc.

GO FIZZ !!

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The wind will crack in winter time
No spoken words, just a scream

My Lair

 

[FizzingWhizzbees]

Originally posted by Sicy:
We'd like, go into bars and be all.. 'hmmm what can we steal' as sort of a prize or whatever. I have signs from Hotels, fire exits, beer signs, numbers from gas station boards.. etc.

LMAO

I was just clearing out my purse from last night and I seem to have acquired several beer mats and a sign advertising a coffee bar that says: We don't do de-caf. No caffeine, no point. Sort of sums up my philosophy on coffee

I stole a santa hat right off the head of a barman over Christmas, it was one of my personal triumphs.

I love the taking numbers from gas station boards. Too funny

Once I tried re-arranging all the letters on a board above a movie theatre. I really wanted to write 'fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity' but they didn't have enough letters

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

LMAO!!!

I've never stolen anything while drunk, but this thread has me tempted to start!!! LOL

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You can tear it up
If you can tie me down

 

[Like O2]

Come to the next Vegas gathering Fizz, you sound like a blast to party with!!

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"See, the rock star gets his way! Thank you very much. This feels very Elvis. Thank you."

Bono ~ Houston, Texas 4-02-01

 

[TylerDurden]

I know how you feel. I woke up one morning with flags from 13 of the 18 holes at my local golf course in my front yard. My friends (who helped with the raid) thought it was hilarious. I was just worried that the golf course is only 2 streets away and they were fully exposed to the street. We hid them, waited till darkness then planted them all on a nearby roundabout. I would have loved to have seen the course managers face when he drove past the next day (and he would have had to).

Not as bad as waking up, going to the kitchen, seeing a wall missing from the front of your house and remembering that you drove the car through it the night before. THAT sucks.

[This message has been edited by TylerDurden (edited 02-05-2002).]

 

[Angela Harlem]

Wow, Ive come home. Whizzbee, can I be your friend so I dont feel so alone?

Can you also give me advice on disposing of stolen items? Some that come under ownership of the state?

Bollards, I take are the orange traffic cones? If you need to dispose of them elsewhere, some ways that have worked before are closing off culder-sacs, and the outside lanes of freeways. You'd be surprised how long they will stay on a freeway for.

 

[She Is Raging]

This is too funny... I used to always do things like this especially when I was in college. My friends would tell people to basicall nail down anything that they didnt want to be missing the next day!! My favorite? A painting of Mo Vaughn from the Red Sox that was in the downstairs apartment of the house that my friend lives in. Dont remember HOW or WHY I went into these people's apartment to begin with, or why I took the painting. I seem to have outgrown this phase for the most part. the other things that i'm well known for too ironically is HIDING things when I'm smashed. I found my shoes in the bottom of the trash barrell once ... and my keys in the medicine cabinet.

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Holy Jesus, Holy rock and roll...

 

[The_Sweetest_Thing]

Yikes!

My friends once stole a whole bunch of traffic signs while drunk...then they hung them on their balcony at uni residence. It was hilarious.

 

[Hallelujah Here She Comes]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That's freaking great! I really think sign-stealing (or traffic cone stealing. Same thing) is *the* activity of choice when drunk. There's this sign a couple blocks from my appartment warning of a speed bump approaching. Excuse me, did I say "speed bump"? I meant "Speed HUMP". That sign can't go a week without getting stolen.

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Feel like trash, you make me feel clean...

Drugs are garbage...just REFUSE.