does anyone else NOT want to get married or have a relationship...EVER?!

[For Honor]

....well, I mean, if I were in a commited, serious relationship, I'd want it all the time....


*FH pulls a :shadow wink: *

 

[bono_man2002]

Yeah, I was just proving a point

 

[bono_man2002]

Or somewhat proving a point......I never really make sense

 

[For Honor]

I know, and I'm trying to be mysterious and what not about something, but I figure I'll just get it over with -


I was going to make an elaborate display about how i really only said "it", and that the "it" I was refering to was actually not sex.

eh, but you win s ome, you lose some
(that 7 deadly sins post has got me thinking.......)
If it weren't for my pride, I probably wouldn't have been so intricate in trying to stage a production of a point I was trying to make Oh well...

( )

 

[girlhappy]

It is so interesting to read all this views about relationships. I always thouhgt i was among the few freaks who cant/wont commit. The truth is: when i was younger i thought that is all i want, in fact it was other way round.I just didnt realize that. But, now, i really think i need a home, home ,home. Same as Xtal about practical things and full of insecurities,but what i really want is someone who is my home.Does that makes sense?
I just wonder..where is the line between our needs and true love? I always wonder. (maybe the subject for another thread)

 

[Sweet Tart]

i really do want a long term loving relationship...marriage or otherwise...but i have become too scared and wary of people. i find it hard to trust anymore and that's pretty sad. hopefully when/if i meet the right person someday all that will change but that being said i'm not holding my breathe

 

[For Honor]

It is so interesting to read all this views about relationships. I always thouhgt i was among the few freaks who cant/wont commit. The truth is: when i was younger i thought that is all i want, in fact it was other way round.I just didnt realize that. But, now, i really think i need a home, home ,home. Same as Xtal about practical things and full of insecurities,but what i really want is someone who is my home.Does that makes sense?
I just wonder..where is the line between our needs and true love? I always wonder. (maybe the subject for another thread)

I think, when you find the person with the right mindset, and you both share the same outlook, and internal feelings.....

You can find someone who needs you and you need them the same way, because that is the only way that you can really have waht you want. I guess that is more or less "ideal", but so be it.

I don't think there is wrong with wanting someone who "is my home". I think that's actually a great thing, as long as you find the proper person. I guess........... in some ways, really, I am the same. I want someone to be my "home", too. Because I know....... just from understanding and learning about myself, that when I do commit, that person will be the house that my heart calls home. I'd need someone to take care of it. "A house doesn't make a home..."

I'll have to remember that......

 

[Irvine511]

it's interesting ... i'm a guy and i date guys and i'm currently in my third "real" relationship, and i'm terrified of how happy i am right now. we've been going out for about three months, and it's all i can do not to say, "i think i'm in love with you." i think i am. but those are powerful, powerful words, and the world is hardly set up to condone and promote gay relationships (in fact, sometimes it seems like society wants to push me into a life of loneliness and promiscuity), so i don't want to use them lightly. i want to be sure before i take such a major step, and i simply think we need to spend more time together before i take that next step. i also want to make sure that it's real, and it's not lust and the fact that i'm thrilled by the idea of going to Restoration Hardware with someone and picking out shower curtains with appropriately coordinated bath towels. i know there's a domestic god inside me -- when i do cook, i can cook up a storm -- and we seem to have nearly identical taste in decor ... i'd call it "Scandinavian Zen" when it comes to furniture, though we both like funky, provoking, colorful and textured artwork. i find myself getting way ahead of myself (kinda like a girl) and planning vacations to Rio, 2nd homes in Wellfleet, MA, and adopting a child from Ethiopia. ("Daddy, where do babies come from?" "They come from Addis Ababa.") you know, the fun stuff

what this relationship has done for me, in a short time, is entirely rethink what i originally thought about myself. like many people in here, i am very independent, love my space, my privacy, etc. however, i'm finding it rather wonderful to take someone else into consideration whenever i do something. it doesn't seem like a burden, because i'd rather be doing something with him that we'd both enjoy rather than doing something alone (not always, but more often than not). there's something almost liberating about caring about someone and not being the complete and total center of your universe.

where once i thought that i'd be fine being alone, or fine with having several long-term relationships over the course of a lifetime, i am just now warming up to the idea of one person for the next 60 years.

and, of course, it could all end badly. but it's so fun right now, that i just wanted to post about it.

 

[Dulce de Leche]

^

Good luck!

 

[yolland]

i also want to make sure that it's real, and it's not lust and the fact that i'm thrilled by the idea of going to Restoration Hardware with someone and picking out shower curtains with appropriately coordinated bath towels.

Too true that a lot of people don't think through this distinction before making the leap. Lust and romance (in the sense of that constantly giddy, intoxicated feeling) are closer than many realize, IMO.

what this relationship has done for me, in a short time, is entirely rethink what i originally thought about myself... there's something almost liberating about caring about someone and not being the complete and total center of your universe.

I think that pretty much nails it, and all the more so if and when children enter the picture. There is a lot of submission and humbling that goes into a successful longterm relationship, and it's just not minute-to-minute exhilarating in the way romance is, but the world of intimacy and deeply shared dreams it opens up to you is like nothing else on earth.

The best marital advice anyone ever gave me was, "Choose someone whose faults you can live with, AND who can live with your faults." And that is the tough part really, because the things that are good in someone you love, you really already know.

 

[U2Girl1978]

Before I was with my current boyfriend, I kept saying I would not get married and completely freak out over the "M" word. But being with him has made me reconsider it.

The weird thing is I never freaked out over getting married when I was younger.

 

[Windmilllane]

How can I possibly have a relationship when I am downright hideous looking? When girls look at me, they say to themselves, "Oh my god, that guy is so ugly. He has a big nose, a skinny face and is balding. Yuck, get the fuck away from me, you ugly loser. I don't care how nice you are. You are so ugly-looking. I would be totally embarrassed to be your girlfriend." Instead, they just don't say anything to me. Why can't they just tell me the truth and say, "I want a hot-looking guy. I don't care if he is a jerk and stupid. As long as he is hot, that's all I care about."

 

[For Honor]

.....