Did you ever lie to yourself?

[lovveu2]

I did, I made myself believe that I had a friendship with someone and as it turns out...it was all in my head.....

Funny how you can play tricks on your own mind.....

 

[Muggsy]

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

You know, besides lying to yourself you can also be too hard on yourself. Take a couple of breaths and think about it. Things always look different in 3rd person view.

Best of luck.

 

[beli]

I did, I made myself believe that I had a friendship with someone and as it turns out...it was all in my head.....

Funny how you can play tricks on your own mind.....

Yes. Been there, done that.

I don't know if its always "lying" as such. Sometimes I think its a case of trusting people, believing people are honest and open, taking them on face value and on their word, believing the best in them,.......... and not noticing when you are being shat upon from a great height.

 

[lovveu2]

Re: Re: Did you ever lie to yourself?

That is my problem, I am trusting, and want to see the good in people. But still a lie...I saw the signs and just didn't want to believe myself, but in the end it was what I thought...and now I feel like a fool....

 

[beli]

Re: Re: Re: Did you ever lie to yourself?

That is my problem, I am trusting, and want to see the good in people. But still a lie...I saw the signs and just didn't want to believe myself, but in the end it was what I thought...and now I feel like a fool....

I do this a LOT. I can't tell you how many times I haev been stung. I trust people too much. Way too much for my own good. But whats the alternative? Be paranoid about everyone? I don't know that I could live like that. And I would hate to be treated like that myself. I would like to think other people trust me, so I trust them back. If that makes any sense. Sorry, now Im rambling about me in your thread. lol

I miss the signs, miss the cues, miss the snide remarks sometimes "He couldnt have possibly meant that in a mean way, Im interpreting him/her wrong. Its me being paranoid".

And then I get paranoid about being paranoid.

 

[lovveu2]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Did you ever lie to yourself?

stung. I trust people too much. Way too much for my own good. But whats the alternative? Be paranoid about everyone?

Yes, for me it is going back to my old ways of NOT letting people in. This just hurts to much!!!!

 

[beli]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Did you ever lie to yourself?

Yes, for me it is going back to my old ways of NOT letting people in. This just hurts to much!!!!

I think some people on this planet are givers. I guess I'm talking about myself again but I think you are probably similar also. I give, I love, I like to love, and love to like. People take advantage of that. I need to care. I don't know how to turn it off and not let people in. Life would be much easier that way.

I really dont think Im helping here. lol.

 

[lovveu2]

But you can give and love WITHOUT letting people in....and this once I did and I just feel like a fool.

You are kind Beli, thank you for taking the time to reply.

 

[beli]

But you can give and love WITHOUT letting people in.

How do you do this please? I have no idea. Its a major flaw in my personality.

 

[lovveu2]

You just give and never stop long enough to receive....it works, trust me, I am a master at this.....

 

[beli]

You just give and never stop long enough to receive....it works, trust me, I am a master at this.....

hmmmm. But how do you survive emotionally doing this?

 

[lovveu2]

Beli,

Are you telling me you don't know how to shut down....how to smile, laugh, etc and not really mean it?

For many reasons that I don't care to explain, I can do just this, give, smile, laugh, etc and not really feel a thing.

But this one time, I did feel it, the smiles, laughs were all real....and for what? Now there is just this whole...that I will never be able to fill.

 

[beli]

Beli,

Are you telling me you don't know how to shut down....how to smile, laugh, etc and not really mean it?

Wow! I think you just sussed me out. Im going to have to ponder that one. No, I cant smile if I don't mean it. Im hopelessly sincere. Im going to have to ponder this. Thank you. I needed help today.

For many reasons that I don't care to explain, I can do just this, give, smile, laugh, etc and not really feel a thing.

But this one time, I did feel it, the smiles, laughs were all real....and for what? Now there is just this whole...that I will never be able to fill.

I'm sure you will find someone else to fill that whole. I know you will. If an arsehole like Hitler can find a soulmate, everybody else can as well. May I ask how long you knew the person to whom you are referring?

 

[lovveu2]

You know what I am reading up and I sound like a loser...OH WAIT, I am a loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for your kind word Beli but I think I need to find a deep hole at this point.....

 

[beli]

You know what I am reading up and I sound like a loser...OH WAIT, I am a loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for your kind word Beli but I think I need to find a deep hole at this point.....

You don't sound like a loser at all. If you're a loser then so am I and I refuse to believe that.

Take care. Don't sink too far into that hole though. Cry, scream, punch the pillow

 

[Laura M]

Re: Re: Did you ever lie to yourself?

Yes. Been there, done that.

I don't know if its always "lying" as such. Sometimes I think its a case of trusting people, believing people are honest and open, taking them on face value and on their word, believing the best in them,.......... and not noticing when you are being shat upon from a great height.

I stopped talking to someone I thought was a friend in the New Year, and not having the constant arguing with her and having to go out with her and have her friends insult me well, I feel much better without all that hassle. Don't beat yourself up about it, in a few weeks you will feel much better about the situation I think

 

[in the tempest]

That's happened to me about three times and it will never happen again. I do too much recon now.

 

[Diemen]

Re: Re: Did you ever lie to yourself?

Yes. Been there, done that.

I don't know if its always "lying" as such. Sometimes I think its a case of trusting people, believing people are honest and open, taking them on face value and on their word, believing the best in them,.......... and not noticing when you are being shat upon from a great height.

Boy can I ever relate to this!

The nice thing is that once you cut it off, even though things still feel shitty for a while, the smell wears off eventually.