Confused young man. Advice?

[Dr_Macphisto]

So for the past year or so I have been single. I'm a little confused if I am happy about this or not... but that might be beside the point. Anyways, my two best friends are in very serious relationships and one is now even talking about proposing to her. Meanwhile I am just kinda off on my own straggling along with potential people to date and not sure if I really want to. I have this overwhelming fear of getting into a relationship and losing my independance and I love just being able to come and go as I please in life, but at the same time I see how happy they are and think how nice it would be to unconditionally have someone to be with and hang out with.

I'm only 20 so I'm not in any big hurry or anything, but all this has just got me thinking. What's everyone think?

 

[indra]

So for the past year or so I have been single. I'm a little confused if I am happy about this or not... but that might be beside the point. Anyways, my two best friends are in very serious relationships and one is now even talking about proposing to her. Meanwhile I am just kinda off on my own straggling along with potential people to date and not sure if I really want to. I have this overwhelming fear of getting into a relationship and losing my independance and I love just being able to come and go as I please in life, but at the same time I see how happy they are and think how nice it would be to unconditionally have someone to be with and hang out with.

I'm only 20 so I'm not in any big hurry or anything, but all this has just got me thinking. What's everyone think?

I think at 20 you're still working out who you are and what exactly you want. I think it's fine to stay single and unattached, especially when you are that young. Relationships aren't all happy-happy, joy-joy, they take a lot of effort to really work, especially over the long run. I wouldn't rush it.

(now, if you're in your 40's and still fiercely independent... )

 

[AcrobatMan]

i would say ..go with the flow...

dont try too hard

if something comes ur way....and if she is good...then HELL YES

 

[karls77]

i would say ..go with the flow...

dont try too hard

if something comes ur way....and if she is good...then HELL YES

Uhh.. yeah, basically what he said. I was in a similar situation with some of my friends involved in long-term things or getting married. Nothing was really coming my way and I just bided my time. I'm now happily married (at age 28) while all my friends who got married in their early 20's are now divorced. I would say just take your time and try not to get involved in serious relationships just for the sake of it.

 

[For Honor]

I think..................


You're doing fine.

 

[For Honor]

^continued........


You're doing fine because you're enjoying yourself, your current lifestyle, but you've got in your mind things you'd like to have down the road.

I don't see anything 'wrong' with you. You still like U2, right?

 

[lady luck]

So for the past year or so I have been single. I'm a little confused if I am happy about this or not... but that might be beside the point. Anyways, my two best friends are in very serious relationships and one is now even talking about proposing to her. Meanwhile I am just kinda off on my own straggling along with potential people to date and not sure if I really want to. I have this overwhelming fear of getting into a relationship and losing my independance and I love just being able to come and go as I please in life, but at the same time I see how happy they are and think how nice it would be to unconditionally have someone to be with and hang out with.

I'm only 20 so I'm not in any big hurry or anything, but all this has just got me thinking. What's everyone think?

I think it's normal that a boy (but also a girl!) is single when he/she is 20. I mean, you take that period of your life to know who you are, what you like, to try and decide qhat you want to do in your life.

I don't think that being in a couple means losing independence.
Not all the girls you will meet want to take you away from your friends and all that stuff.

Unfortunately, I have never been in a relationship (I'm 21, maybe I've got a boyfriend, but he's far at the moment..) but I don't want to steal my boy's time and to act like a fool and being a "glue-girl" who can't resist two minutes without him.
I want him to have his space, to have his projects and to do what he likes, because I think that's the only way we could enjoy the time we spend together in the best way.

It would be interesting, too, to try and understand what the other one likes and why he/she does.