compulsive behaviors

[VertigoGal]

how do you get rid of them? sorry to be vague but I can't specify. I'm just incredibly frustrated with myself and wondering if there is anyway to put an end to them. in a (relatively) short period of time I've become so pulled in and trapped. I feel distanced from my friends because I can't talk to them about it, it's hard for me to focus on my grades, it's interfering with my attempts to be the perfect fucking child. I had an expensive (minor) surgical operation this morning, and I couldn't even control my impulses, despite the fact that it puts the recovery/healing of the area at risk for complications. it was almost 2000 dollars and my parents have no insurance benefits from their work. really fucking ashamed.

the only thing I know to do is to "talk to somebody about it" and guess what? I do. zero help.

it's especially frustrating because if nothing else I've always known I possessed a high level of willpower, determination, control over myself and my actions. how did I become a person so lacking in control without noticing?

I know this is vague (or possibly incredibly obvious) but really how do you stop compulsive behaviors? I'm sure some people here have experience with them of some variety. does the rubber band method work? electric dog collars? honestly...

 

[Liesje]

The only person I know with a compulsive behavior that had bad effects was my sister who sucked her thumbs until high school. The only thing that got her to stop was she had to have metal put in her mouth to fix the damage she'd already done and it blocked her from being able to suck her thumbs. She was almost in high school when it got to this point. I guess some kind of deterrent can be the only way if it gets to that point.

Good luck!

 

[U2Man]

vertigogal, are you talking about just a bad habit or obsessive compulsive disorder?

 

[VertigoGal]

actually I do have some OCD tendencies, but I wasn't talking about that. I guess you could say a bad habit but more destructive than thumb-sucking (though I could see where that'd be a pain in the ass )

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have started this thread with as vague as I am. felt like bitching and moaning but I guess that's what journals are for.

 

[U2Man]

ocd can be treated with a combination of cognitive therapy and a drug called cipramil. sometimes the meds arent necessary.

 

[VertigoGal]

^thanks. I'm not really OCD though. but thanks

 

[Liesje]

I don't think there's harm in being vague. No need to spill your guts on a public forum. N harm in venting either.

Is there anything you can replace with what you're doing? For example, I used to bite my nails off daily when I was a kid. It's just a habit I will probably never be rid of, but now I kinda chew on them rather than actually bite them off. It's a nervous habit, and I get nervous a lot, so I have to have something

 

[Screwtape2]

You seem like a really intelligent young woman and I'm sure you'll be able to overcome it. Maybe taking up a sport would help you use that energy on something else. I've known a lot of people who were strong willed but still developed destructive behaviors. It isn't anything to be ashamed of because high school puts so much pressure on people. Again, some kind of sport like basketball could release some adrenaline which is known to make you feel better. Adrenaline can also be sort of a replacement for your habit.

Whatever you choose, I hope you feel better.

 

[Angela Harlem]

it's especially frustrating because if nothing else I've always known I possessed a high level of willpower, determination, control over myself and my actions. how did I become a person so lacking in control without noticing?

this might be the actual problem. your desire for control over everything might have lead to this, too. have you ever learned how to 'fail' at something, to cope with not meeting the standard you or others have set? i guess, to use horrid pop psychology-speak, is this a symptom or the actual problem?

 

[VertigoGal]

thanks guys. sorry it was so whiny but I really appreciate your responses.

lies/screwtape- I do run a lot and it does relieve anxiety, so I guess it's a good replacement. but sometimes in a roundabout way its not the best thing either, hard to explain. sorry.

angela you're probably right, I know thats part of the problem among other things. I realize it and realize that compulsive behaviors arent giving me any level of control, but the compulsiveness is still there. meh


anyway I think I'm going to ask for a referral to someone. in the meantime i'll try to use advice about replacing things with other things, not that i haven't tried.


holy shit, I'm sure this thread is way too obvious to certain people. if it is, pretty please don't let on.

silly vg

 

[UberBeaver]

This is going to sound ridiculously naive and simplistic, but I find when I need to stop something, I just tell myself to not do it. Like if I wanted to go smoke, I would catch myself and not go. If I go on a diet, I just don't let myself eat certain things. It's hard because your mind feels like it needs to do whatever it is, but you can sort of overrule it. It feels weird, but eventually that becomes a new habit.

However, I still have a subconscious habit where I twist and pull out my hair. I can't break that one, which is really friggin annoying. The only way I did get myself to stop was by cutting off my hair, and now is probably the first time in 4-5 years that I've had hair long enough to pull, and right away I went right back to pulling it out, weird.

 

[coemgen]

I used to have to check my alarm settings before I went to be a certain amount of times. It was weird. Then I got married and I stopped. I don't know why.

 

[LemonMelon]

I think I may have OCD in some form or another. It's not fun. I get into a habit of doing something and if I don't it drives me crazy until I forget about it. It's getting better, and I go through stages with it, but it's pretty miserable when in full swing. It goes hand-in-hand with my own perfectionism issues, which I've had my entire life.

Anyway, VG, my advice to you is simple:

If you have a destructive habit, replace it with something less destructive. I agree with Screwtape on this issue.

 

[Mr. Green Eyes]

thanks guys. sorry it was so whiny but I really appreciate your responses.

It wasn't whiny, you were just asking for help, and that isn't being a bit whiny. Sometimes I get overly forcused on something, or really distracted about a very small detail in something (thanks to my wonderful ADD), and I just try to... I guess not think about it to much, or just forcus on something. How about you try to talk to someone, example being a friend or family member that you are close to. Or you could see a specialist about it, then he or she can help you through it, and hopefully cure it, or at the very lease, make it better to live with. Hope that everything works out for the best.

 

[VertigoGal]

thanks for your comments, I'm sorry I haven't really responded to them. I know it should be as simple as concentrating really hard on simply not doing it, and moving on to something more constructive.

I unfortunately am less than willing to stop putting myself in positions that lead to it, or to stop the behaviors that lead to that situation. I was frustrated when I wrote that post, but I realize that I don't have a place to complain if I'm not technically doing everything in my power to avoid the behavior. So, I'm sorry for that. I do appreciate your advice though.

 

[Screwtape2]

thanks for your comments, I'm sorry I haven't really responded to them. I know it should be as simple as concentrating really hard on simply not doing it, and moving on to something more constructive.

I unfortunately am less than willing to stop putting myself in positions that lead to it, or to stop the behaviors that lead to that situation. I was frustrated when I wrote that post, but I realize that I don't have a place to complain if I'm not technically doing everything in my power to avoid the behavior. So, I'm sorry for that. I do appreciate your advice though.

It's not as easy as mind over matter a lot of times and it's not always possible to be completely willing to change. I think it might be helpful if you figure out what this behavior is giving you. If you know that then you might see it is related to a bigger problem. But it is important to know that it is okay that you have every right to complain even if you aren't putting all you have into it. If the behavior gives you something that you need then of course it's going to be hard to tear yourself from it. You just need to find out what you're getting out of it and find something that's safer and health that can give you that. From there it gets pretty easy. If you don't want to feel this way or that way, I'm sure that there are things that can make you not feel that way.

I know people who have been through every dangerous and unhealthy behavior out there and they all came out better than okay. You'll get over this, VertigoGal. If you ever want to get advice on this in a more private atmosphere my e-mail is InaKafkaTragedy@aol.com. I hope you feel better and I want you to know that it is okay to seek advice even when you're not ready to give it your all.