Advice Needed

[A_Wanderer]

I like a girl, I am an amoral misanthropic loner that divides his time between work and simple distractions like drugs.

Seriously people, I have found a girl who happens to find me interesting and funny, and she happens to be a politically engaged atheistic leftist feminist and I just don't want to watch it explode in my face (politically it's fine, we agree on enlightenment principles and she enjoys my anarchist streak).

What is the code of calling back after a date (how many days)?

Is it alright to just do dinner and a movie? I have designs on art exhibitions and museums but must I rush those machinations?

Are ironically lame gestures like flowers worthwhile?

Are those endowed with the double X chromosome set actually human beings deserving of all the basic pains and pleasures of the rest of humanity?

Guh, it's so much simpler playing the part of the Byronic hero

Advice people, should I call this girl up and ask her out to see Wall-E on thursday or friday?

p.s.

Why do I feel that a lifetime of callgirls would be ever so much simpler?

 

[Angela Harlem]

tip 1: do flowers on the 3rd date. 1st date is really spending an official amount of time together to see what happens. if a 2nd date occurs, there was enough positive to see if this can be built upon. if you get to a 3rd, then there was enough evidence in the 2nd for both parties to agree this is a worthwhile way of spending time - with each other. 3rd with flowers says "i agree, this is quite cool and here is a little gesture to show you i think you are dandy". flowers on any date earlier than this says "let's skip this and head back to your place to shag"

tip 2: stop trying to be some asexual type! while amusing in ways, it's not practical, and it does wear thin after a bit. be honest about who you are (from what i know of who you are, there's no need to carry on with this asexual caper), but don't be a pretentious wank about it. be a physically normal guy who happens to have a keen interest in the things which make you the strange dude you happen to be.


tip 3: wall-E? why? is it really funny? i've seen merchandise, but am hiding it from the kids. if the ads look good, then yes. go for it!


good luck, a_w! she sounds like exactly what you need!

 

[hiphop]

I like a girl, I am an amoral misanthropic loner that divides his time between work and simple distractions like drugs.

Seriously people, I have found a girl who happens to find me interesting and funny, and she happens to be a politically engaged atheistic leftist feminist and I just don't want to watch it explode in my face (politically it's fine, we agree on enlightenment principles and she enjoys my anarchist streak).

GREAT!

What is the code of calling back after a date (how many days)?

SECOND DAY AFTER DATE, MAX. THIRD, DON´T WAIT A WEEK

Is it alright to just do dinner and a movie? I have designs on art exhibitions and museums but must I rush those machinations?

YOU MAY NOT 1st DATE DINNER & MOVIE 2nd or 3rd DATE EXHIBITION IS FINE
ANYWAY ASK HER WHAT SHE WOULD LIKE TO DO

Are ironically lame gestures like flowers worthwhile?

IMO FLOWERS ARE COOL ALSO FOR THE 2nd DATE IF YOU WANT

IF SHE´S A FEMINIST YOU MIGHT BE BETTER OFF ASKING HER WHAT SHE LIKES OR MAKING A SPONTANEOUS PRESENT WHEN YOU SEE SHE LIKES SOMETHING. MAYBE A BOOK.

 

[anitram]

Seriously don't wait for the phone call. I don't know why guys do this. I understand it might be a little over the top if you call her 5 minutes after you've left, but there is nothing wrong with calling the following evening. These kinds of games are just silly at a certain age.

I hate and I mean I HATE dinner and a movie. Most of my girlfriends do too. First of all, movie is a wasted date. It's awkward, you can't talk, it's just not a good first date thing in my opinion. Dinner, I'm also not a huge fan of. Truth be told for a first date I prefer either coffee or a drink, where it's more casual and shorter. You know you don't have to commit yourself for too long if it doesn't turn out great. Now if you already know her pretty well then the dinner might work better.

 

[hiphop]

Dinner, I'm also not a huge fan of.

Really? What about a small italian pizzeria?

You´ll have more time to talk and in a restaurant, the music isn´t that loud.. I understand the "only-drink" for the first date (nothing can beat icecream and a park on a sunny day though) but if two people like each other, a cozy restaurant should be perfect for the second date, don´t you think?

 

[anitram]

Yeah I think that if you are going out with somebody you are pretty good friends with already, or you know them well, that changes things. I was talking more about the first date - eating is a lot of pressure. Feels like all my job interviews did.

 

[A_Wanderer]

I like the above sentiments, dinner and a movie is boring but it can work.

Already knew her pretty well before and the first date was coffee and three hours of conversation, everything from animation to abortion, natural topics really. The sizing up has already been done, it's just a case of being around her more to show her that I'm the one with bluest eyes, sharpest mind and sexual charisma, and obviously some getting to know things too.

As for self-deprecatingly grandiose statements about my situation please take them as seriously as I do, nothing defuses uncomfortable situations like a joke built from solid self-confidence and frustration at having deadlines creeping up

 

[DrTeeth]

tip 1: do flowers on the 3rd date. 1st date is really spending an official amount of time together to see what happens. if a 2nd date occurs, there was enough positive to see if this can be built upon. if you get to a 3rd, then there was enough evidence in the 2nd for both parties to agree this is a worthwhile way of spending time - with each other. 3rd with flowers says "i agree, this is quite cool and here is a little gesture to show you i think you are dandy". flowers on any date earlier than this says "let's skip this and head back to your place to shag"

tip 2: stop trying to be some asexual type! while amusing in ways, it's not practical, and it does wear thin after a bit. be honest about who you are (from what i know of who you are, there's no need to carry on with this asexual caper), but don't be a pretentious wank about it. be a physically normal guy who happens to have a keen interest in the things which make you the strange dude you happen to be.


tip 3: wall-E? why? is it really funny? i've seen merchandise, but am hiding it from the kids. if the ads look good, then yes. go for it!


good luck, a_w! she sounds like exactly what you need!

*takes notes

 

[A_Wanderer]

Phone etiquette questions, I tried calling monday but no pickup, it was turned off tuesday so I sent an SMS saying I had a nice time

One doesn't want to leave a million messages and missed call notes around like a creep, but by the same token I have no clue if she has gotten a single one.

Should I just distract myself while waiting, send a message on facebook or wait a few days and call again?

 

[redhotswami]

you've reached out, now it's her turn to bite. she'll turn on the mobile eventually. you don't wanna smother her with a million messages.

 

[A_Wanderer]

Exactly

Actually I went for plan D and called up on a different phone, and have had to alter plans by nixing all of the above.

If anything stands out is is a lack of affect, and that is a worrying development.

 

[cobl04]

You know you wandering bastard I never thought I'd see this type of thread. You're always on hand to offer your advice for people in this type of situation

 

[A_Wanderer]

Do as I say, not as I do

Although its an open question where the truth lies.