About falling in love

[Hank Bulger]

G'day I'm new around here.

Just a quick question, for everyone who has fallen in love, has it just been an immediate attraction? Or has it been someone you've known for ten years and just realised that you love? You see, I'm 16, and love is a massive thing at this age. People either throw it around like it means the same as words such as "hello" or "goodbye" and others truly mean it. Just wanted a perspecxtive from someone who has fallen in love.

Thanks!

 

[Bonochick]

I've been living with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and I developed a crush on him from the first moment we met. It ended up working out and being more than just infatuation, obviously. Then again, I used to joke that I fell in love with somebody new everyday...the mailman, the guy stopped next to me at the red light, the guy working at 7-Eleven... 16 is so young, I wouldn't get too carried away yet.

 

[Techie2000]

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/16

Watch that.

 

[BonosBaby12]

With me it started off as friend's first than as I got to know him better I started falling for him. Almost 4 years later it just keeps getting better

 

[Screwtape2]

I don't think you truly know that your in love until it hits you a couple weeks or months even years after meeting that person. It might start as a crush but at some point you sudden realize, 'I love you.' Falling in love in high school isn't as great as you might think in fact it can be harmful to you in the long run with its effect on grades and plans for the future.

 

[A_Wanderer]

I have found it to be a match of euphoria, self-delusion and dissapointment to begin then grading into intransigent tenderness with time. If you can't stop feeling when you want to stop then your brain has made that long term social bond of love.

 

[Irvine511]

for me, it was a tingle -- he was a totally new person, not an old friend, and we started dating in a very formal sense. it took months to develop, but i always had a feeling that there was something special there. not necessarily something special about him (though there are many special things) or something special about me, but something special that happened when we were together. i didn't know what it is or what to call it or how to describe it, but i knew it was there and i gave it and the relationship time and space to breathe and grow and the understanding of being in love with someone was more of a gradual realization than being struck by lightning. infatuation and sexual attraction can be like lightning, but i think love takes time.

at 16, just have fun, and develop relationship skills and work on treating people with as much respect and consideration as you can. a deep, adult love will come later.

 

[Night & Day]

I want to respond to this in so many different ways, and i want to say something that will stay in your mind,
but this is a fact....what you perceive love is now, will change.
Age, growth, experience and intelligence will change what you want to give
and what you want to receive as you get older.
What you feel love is now, will not be what you feel at 20-25-30-40-50-60.
It all changes.
But all in all, love is a wonderful thing...
no matter how many times you fall.

Im sure ill be back with more to say.

 

[AtomicBono]

I was 16 when I first fell in love (terrible idea, by the way. avoid it at all costs )

if you're in love, eventually you'll know. for me it's always been a friend and i realize it's something more. i don't believe in love at first sight because I feel you have to really know a person before you can truly love them, but there can be some sort of initial connection certainly.

 

[namkcuR]

I'm going to take a quote from the film 'Little Manhattan':

"Love is an ugly, terrible business practiced by fools. It'll trample your heart and leave you bleeding on the floor. And what does it really get you in the end? Nothing but a few incredible memories that you can't ever shake."

 

[cobl04]

Welcome Hank Bulger!

I'm 16 as well, and what I kinda get worked up about and what irks me is when people say "oh love is terrible in the end... leaves you shattered etc..." but at least you've experienced the good, even if there was a bad ending you know what I mean? The line "better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all" does a lot for me.

 

[impy13]

The one girl I was ever in love with I met at a party in June and got to know a bit after that. I only looked at it as a friend thing, but apparently she took it pretty hard when I started dating another girl. After that fizzled out and she had a thing with another guy fizzle out, we kissed at a party in late December and both thought that was kind of weird. She wound up coming to the New Year's party I was at and we kissed when the ball dropped. A few nights later we hooked up and eventually that became a steady thing. I never looked at it as a relationship and neither did she for the first month and a half or so. We were just having fun, I thought; two kids hormones ablaze just being high school kids. In late February or so we actually considering ourselves in a relationship with one another, and by late March/early April, I realized I was in love her with and her with me. We dated until that December and continued a weird attachment for a few months after that until we just sort of stopped talking I was away at university and she was back home finishing up high school, so the distance made that diminishing contact fade away.

All in all, I harbor no resentment and it was the best year+ of my life. There isn't a sudden moment when you realize you're in love, it's just sort of a gradual process (at least in my experience). You'll know when it happens.

 

[cobl04]

The one girl I was ever in love with I met at a party in June and got to know a bit after that. I only looked at it as a friend thing, but apparently she took it pretty hard when I started dating another girl. After that fizzled out and she had a thing with another guy fizzle out, we kissed at a party in late December and both thought that was kind of weird. She wound up coming to the New Year's party I was at and we kissed when the ball dropped. A few nights later we hooked up and eventually that became a steady thing. I never looked at it as a relationship and neither did she for the first month and a half or so. We were just having fun, I thought; two kids hormones ablaze just being high school kids. In late February or so we actually considering ourselves in a relationship with one another, and by late March/early April, I realized I was in love her with and her with me. We dated until that December and continued a weird attachment for a few months after that until we just sort of stopped talking I was away at university and she was back home finishing up high school, so the distance made that diminishing contact fade away.

All in all, I harbor no resentment and it was the best year+ of my life. There isn't a sudden moment when you realize you're in love, it's just sort of a gradual process (at least in my experience). You'll know when it happens.

Sorry to hear that you fell away, but this what I really feel like I'm missing out on as a teenager..... that's what these years are meant to be about y'know? But I always try to justify it. It could be worse. I could have born with a birth defect... or live in a war ravaged country...

 

[gman]

Av been in Love ONCE in my 37 year lifespan. And it didnt strike me till it was all over. however.....it went tits up (3 kids later)and basically wrecked my life. Now I cannot commit to a gal, which is a shame coz i would like to have a specail someone in my life.
I dont think there is a set of rules for Love, it just jumps out and bites ya in the bum!!

 

[JessicaAnn]

for me, it was a tingle -- he was a totally new person, not an old friend, and we started dating in a very formal sense. it took months to develop, but i always had a feeling that there was something special there. not necessarily something special about him (though there are many special things) or something special about me, but something special that happened when we were together. i didn't know what it is or what to call it or how to describe it, but i knew it was there and i gave it and the relationship time and space to breathe and grow and the understanding of being in love with someone was more of a gradual realization than being struck by lightning. infatuation and sexual attraction can be like lightning, but i think love takes time.

at 16, just have fun, and develop relationship skills and work on treating people with as much respect and consideration as you can. a deep, adult love will come later.

I think you have hit the nail right on the head.