A question of privacy?

[angelordevil]

I found myself in an awkward situation today, and just thought I'd share it to get some clarity.

My cousin and I were talking about a mutual friend of ours, and how this person is a great guy, open-minded, and for me at least, inspirational. He's also a former boss of mine and respected in the community. He's kind of like our local Bono.

Anyway, as we got into the discussion, my cousin tells me how this person recently attempted suicide. It was shocking news to me, and it also made me feel uncomfortable; not uncomfortable because of the issue, but because of how she found out--from her inlaws who work in the hospital where our friend was treated.

I just feel reporting it at random like this violates our friend's privacy. Am I being anal and self-righteous about this (which I can be, I'm told) or should I tell my cousin to zip it until this friend is comfortable with sharing the story himself?

 

[For Honor]

Hmm.......


tough.


But...... being a little hard on these subjects.......
If he was set to kill himself, then he should at least be accoutible for his actions. Yeah, it will be shameful, especially if he failed at killing himself or whatever.

But you can't run from your own actions.
(edit - to clarify, I mean, that if someone chooses to end their own life, they better at least accept that everyone around them is going to know about it. And living doesn't change a thing. It's going to come out sooner or later)



I know that is rather unsympathetic, but that's my view. The way of the closed fist, so to say.



I don't know.....
I am not sure if anyone is really stepping out of line or not.
It is not clear for me, based on what you said here.

 

[angelordevil]

Hmm.......





I don't know.....
I am not sure if anyone is really stepping out of line or not.
It is not clear for me, based on what you said here.

She basically just added it into the conversation after I mentioned how our friend was doing in his career. It was a "by the way, did you know?" kind of thing.

 

[For Honor]

Well..... I guess that's how the word spreads

I don't really know if it was wrong of her to tell you or not.
I guess the question is
how you prefer the news was broken?


It's happened to me before, though.
See someone, a relative you haven't seen in a while.
Oh, didn't you know he had a stroke
or
divorce or something


I don't know, I'm not one to ask about such
I don't find much surprising anymore, but that might be another subject.

 

[BAW]

No, you aren't being anal or self righteous...this information came from people who work at a hospital and they have violated his right to privacy by talking about it. I would be furious if I found out someone with knowledge of my medical treatment was talking about it without my permission, especially if it was something as sensitive as a suicide attempt.

He may never want anyone to know about this and its up to him to decide so yeah, I think I would tell her to zip it.

 

[angelordevil]

Well..... I guess that's how the word spreads

I don't really know if it was wrong of her to tell you or not.
I guess the question is
how you prefer the news was broken?

I guess that's the point....it came from the medical staff, which I do have a problem with

 

[Liesje]

It was shocking news to me, and it also made me feel uncomfortable; not uncomfortable because of the issue, but because of how she found out--from her inlaws who work in the hospital where our friend was treated.

Tell your cousin to zip it...and tell her to tell her sources to zip it. This is a definite breach of privacy. Not cool, not cool at all. If I were the guy who was treated and this eventually came back to me, I would feel betrayed and violated beyond repair.

 

[indra]

I agree with the zip it option. I'd be furious if that type of breach happened to me. It should be up to him if and when he wants to discuss it with anyone.

 

[Mr. BAW]

Against the patient's right to confidencialty? You bet...

Human nature to talk about it? double you bet..

Its just one of those things; your friend's comments were not made to hurt you, just informatative...they weren't inflammatory and she most likely thought you already knew...

tell him? no, leave it...walk on.

 

[Bono's shades]

Your cousin needs to be told to keep her trap shut, and her in-laws need to be told to stop divulging confidential information about patients. If you are worried about coming off as anal and self-righteous (which I don't think you are), point out to them that if the in-laws' supervisor found out about it, they could be fired - or at least in fairly serious trouble at work.

 

[For Honor]

He may never want anyone to know about this and its up to him to decide so yeah, I think I would tell her to zip it.

Well, I agree with everyone about a patients confidentiality - thatis an important thing


But if you are consciously going to kill yourself, suicide, then you know everyone is going to hear about it. And just because you do not manage to do it, that doesn't mean it never happened.
I don't think it is possible to cover up an attempted suicide. More so..... if the person is not comfortable with talking about it, then I wonder if they can ever grow from it. I don't think it should be something hidden away, swept under the rug. (but I know it takes time, etc, to move on)

But hey, I've never directly dealt with suicide, so I can't say too much. I'll leave that for others. I think I just have issues with sincerity, perhaps.



However, my suicide comments are perhaps tangent to the original intention of this thread, which was about condifentiality, and such.



ANd it sounds like
MR BAW has the right idea about how she may have thought you already had an idea about it.

 

[Angela Harlem]

For Honor, the point is, people who work in hospitals have to sign confidentiality agreements. That is all staff, from cleaners up to NUMs and Heads of Surgery. Medical records and information are as heavily protected under the law as you can get. Obtaining info on someone requires a court order, not some blabbery 3rd person.

 

[For Honor]

Understood

 

[FizzingWhizzbees]

I just feel reporting it at random like this violates our friend's privacy. Am I being anal and self-righteous about this (which I can be, I'm told) or should I tell my cousin to zip it until this friend is comfortable with sharing the story himself?

You're not being self-righteous at all. Your friend has the right to decide for himself whether he wants to tell other people about his experiences. Nobody else has the right to make that decision for him, least of all hospital employees who will know perfectly well that patient information is confidential and not to be discussed with anyone, even a close family member of a patient, without the patient's consent.

I would certainly tell your cousin she shouldn't repeat this information again and you may even want to tell her that the hospital employee who told her this could get into serious trouble for having disclosed this information in the first place.

 

[angelordevil]

Thanks guys for the help...I phoned my cousin and suggested she not spread this around until our friend is ready to do so himself. I don't think she completely understands my motivation for telling her this...I just went on gut feelings. And my gut told me that if this information was meant to be shared, our friend would have let both of us know by now about his turmoil. I don't think it's cool, or the sign of a true friend, to speculate on third and fourth-hand information.

Thanks again people....

 

[Bonochick]

No, you aren't being anal or self righteous...this information came from people who work at a hospital and they have violated his right to privacy by talking about it. I would be furious if I found out someone with knowledge of my medical treatment was talking about it without my permission, especially if it was something as sensitive as a suicide attempt.

He may never want anyone to know about this and its up to him to decide so yeah, I think I would tell her to zip it.

I couldn't have said it better myself.