a question about sex and friendship...

[Muggsy]

Do you think that a couple of friends can have sex and still being friends... i mean, without the feeling of commitment that you would have in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship?

I'm asking this cuz I'm in that situation... and I can't describe it as an open relationship cuz although we don't consider ourselves as a couple ( I didn't want to be his girlfriend) we're loyal to each other. We trust each other a lot... and we try to be completely sincere about our feelings.... but things are getting more and more confussing ...

 

[Liesje]

No, I don't think so, but it depends on your views of sex. To me, sex is only for people in a mature, loving, committed relationship intended to last. I wouldn't be OK with having sex with friends, but that's just me. I guess as long as you both talk it over first and have the same expectations, it might work....

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

No way at least not from my personal experience.

 

[hiphop]

Do you think that a couple of friends can have sex and still being friends...

Yes.

Generally, there are hundreds of ways to interact with other people, be it as partners, lovers, friends or whatever combination of those. Specifically, its your personal decision if you think it ´s morally ok, positive, or negative.

 

[Angela Harlem]

some can manage it. some cannot manage it. you need to know which one you are.

 

[AcrobatMan]

depends on the definition of sex and friendship

 

[tiggytoos]

It definitely changes the context of the friendship. You may want to consider how much you value the person as a friend, also how you would feel if they "meet somone" soon after an encounter. As somonewho has "been there, done that" I personally would not do it again.

 

[all_i_want]

i am exactly in that kind of a situation right now.. we live in different cities. and just last night we talked about what we would be doing with this, we are not exaclty dating and if we would start seeing other people (which we agreed we should) then we would stop having sex, only to pick up when that relationship is over. its more like a safety net than anything else.

i thought itd be a good idea. a relationship without commitments or expectations. sounds great. in theory. it doesnt work that way though.

if you become aware that something is going to end, it doesnt help whatever relationship you have.

if its all gonna end it might as well be my fault. ill just end it the next time i see her. cause really, was it anything at all? we were just sexed up. i can see clearly now, and sex doesnt seem enough to me.

no regrets
no tears, goodbye

 

[Salome]

definitiely possible
as long thee is no misconception for either person beforehand

 

[Sheltie]

Yes, but it will take the friendship to a whole different level.

 

[Macfistowannabe]

I personally don't believe in it, and I don't think it would work between two friends who just wanted to stay friends. Seinfeld had an episode about this, it's on DVD now. It all comes down to the birthday present.

Seriously though, sexual activity undoubtedly will have an impact on your friendship, and probably not a good one if you want to remain "pals." One of you will probably feel attached while the other half will want independence. I don't think sex can escape a relationship, because sex is not just a thing you do to waste your sperm or seeing nudity, but an action of emotion and feelings.

Chances are, she'll probably tell her friends how you did, so there is pressure.

 

[Sicy]

Sometimes yes. As long as both parties feel the same way.

 

[Bonochick]

To me, sex is only for people in a mature, loving, committed relationship intended to last. I wouldn't be OK with having sex with friends, but that's just me. I guess as long as you both talk it over first and have the same expectations, it might work....

Agreed.

 

[lauren430]

yes, it has worked for me before. As long as both people have the same understanding of it...

 

[Muggsy]

Chances are, she'll probably tell her friends how you did, so there is pressure.

I'm not a guy!!!! (but at least you didn't think i was a gay man. lol )

... And i haven't told my friends how he is in bed... i try to be very discrete about that stuff: if someone who i trust ask me i will reply but i don't talk about it openly

back to the beginning:

I really think that sex is taking our friendship to a very different level. Some of you won't believe me but i'm really a romantic person (in the good way ) and i'm agree when some of you say that sex is a very serious thing and there has to be commitment in the relationship...

but this situation is new for me and I feel like my previous expectatives about love and relationships are too hard to reach... i mean, we care about each other, we help each other in everything, but i feel something is missing.

 

[nbcrusader]

Perhaps, but it will affect how the parties view sex and friendship going forward.

 

[anitram]

I've never tried it personally because I know it's not for me. I get too attached to people.

 

[Nate Dogg]

They don't mix. Ever.

 

[Sherry Darling]

I mostly agree with Angie H, I think. This is a very personal thing, and not everyone is the same. It's important to know yourself in making choices like this. For me, sex is about love, and I don't think I could mix it with "just" friendship.



SD

 

[Macfistowannabe]

I'm not a guy!!!! (but at least you didn't think i was a gay man. lol )

Sorry! This isn't the first time I've made this mistake here, whoops.

It probably sounds funny, but I don't know how to throw romance into a non-romantic relationship. It sounds like an ongoing jigsaw puzzle, probably even tougher than a romantic relationship.

Toast to whatever your decision be, though.

 

[all_i_want]

it is not possible. i told my 'friend' that i didnt wanna see her again, cause it was too hard. right now im struggling not to go back to this 'friendship', but then, the only thing i cant resist, is temptation.

only time will show if ill succeed. its so hard!

 

[Doozer61]

i mean, we care about each other, we help each other in everything, but i feel something is missing.

something is missing because he is just your friend, nothing more. in an intimate relationship, there is much more than caring for each other, and helping each other out. there is more depth to it. that could be whats missing.

i don't know if i could just have casual sex with a friend. i would probably want it to be something more than that, but i know people that do it all the time.

 

[gareth brown]

Do you think that a couple of friends can have sex and still being friends...

I personally think no. I am only sixteen...but PLEASE don't dismiss my opinion! [I know...teenagers appear to think about sex 24/7...but believe me, it's the last thing on my mind where my friends are concerned.]

It's up to you, naturally, which metaphorical path you wish to take...but in my opinion 'society' in general appears to have adopted a VERY relaxed view on sex and, fair enough, many people will partake in one night stands or just sleep with one of their friends without any commitment...

I personally feel this is wrong. Just my opinion...I honestly feel there has to be SOMETHING THERE if you know what I mean...! Sure, you may be attracted to each other etc. blah blah blah [no pun on screenname intended] but surely it's better to try and establish a proper, intimate relationship instead of just satisfying whatever wild sexual urges the two of you may have!!

Yes, i AM in way over my head trying to discuss sex with adults. I apologise profusely...but it's the internet, so no red face for me! I just happen to go to school with a ton of people who talk about nothing but sex and have slept with god knows how many people...just appalls me really...!

 

[Muggsy]

Of course I won't dismmiss your opinion, Blah

but surely it's better to try and establish a proper, intimate relationship instead of just satisfying whatever wild sexual urges the two of you may have!!

well... things are not that simple . If I would be just satisfying my sexual urges I won't be so confused, I guess.

I had never been in a situation like this before and all the things I've done... including this one.. are done with my heart. I wouldn't be honest with myself if I say that I'm looking just for sexual pleasure.

 

[Laura M]

I think it is up to you to make this decision, if you don't get attached to them you could probably just have that kind of relationship with them but then you have to be prepared that you could be putting your friendship in jeopordy, things may start to get very awkward, you cuold start devolping feelings or he may start getting feelings for you and the other person involved doesn't want any sort of commintment. Maybe it's best to stay friends and wait until you find a boyfriend if you're a romantic As I said though, that's something you have to decide.

 

[yimou]

Tried it,, Didn´t work
The sex was great, but the friendship naturally changed after the sex started. It became a bit...... weird.

Love and sex is the BEST....

 

[thousandfold]

This is one of those things you can't know until you're in it how you will feel about it. It might work out okay. It might not. But regardless, the situation will come to a head. It will probably be that either one or both of you fall for the other, or one or both of you stop and say 'hey, why am I spending all this time with a person I don't like enough to be boyfriend/girlfriend with?'.

The situation is inherently temporary. Don't feel bad for saying you just want to get your rocks off. It doesn't have to be deeper than that. And it's no fun if you don't like the person, so of course you should. But that's what's going to make it shift. Eventually one or both of you is going to want more, either from each other or just from life. If you feel something is missing, it probably is, and sooner or later that will make it unsatisfying for you.

Even if you are careful it could still ruin your friendship, because you can't control how someone else feels. Someone might say they feel one way and have one thing in mind, but that may change and no one can help that.

So, play it out to its end, but there's no need to commit to a pseudo-relationship. Demand the best for yourself in life. Love is the greatest thing the world has ever known. No need to sell yourself out for less... unless you just feel like treading water for a while. And that's okay too. Just make sure you're happy with how the whole thing makes you feel.

 

[MsMofoGone]

Sex is only for people in a mature, loving, committed relationship intended to last. I wouldn't be OK with having sex with friends.

I agree 100%%%!!!!

What would "you" or your "friend" do if you got pregnant?? or
ended up with a STD?? (It could happen even if you are careful..)
You need to look at all the "positives" and "negatives" BEFORE
actually EVER considering sex with a friend...even if you both
were serious about each other and not just on a "friends" basis.
I think sex should be with someone you love and intend to
eventually marry, though. Because sex with someone...just to
have a "sexual" experience...is not the right picture you should
display of yourself to others. It says you're a "SLUT"...know
matter how you look at it...and nothing will ever change that
fact once you "give in" (for all the wrong reasons, I might add.)

 

[thousandfold]

Because sex with someone...just to
have a "sexual" experience...is not the right picture you should
display of yourself to others. It says you're a "SLUT"...know
matter how you look at it...and nothing will ever change that
fact once you "give in" (for all the wrong reasons, I might add.)

Yeah, because the most important thing in the world is what everyone else thinks about you. Sure.

 

[BAW]

I agree 100%%%!!!!

What would "you" or your "friend" do if you got pregnant?? or
ended up with a STD?? (It could happen even if you are careful..)
You need to look at all the "positives" and "negatives" BEFORE
actually EVER considering sex with a friend...even if you both
were serious about each other and not just on a "friends" basis.
I think sex should be with someone you love and intend to
eventually marry, though. Because sex with someone...just to
have a "sexual" experience...is not the right picture you should
display of yourself to others. It says you're a "SLUT"...know
matter how you look at it...and nothing will ever change that
fact once you "give in" (for all the wrong reasons, I might add.)

Are women who "give in" just to have a sexual experience the only ones deserving of the SLUT label or does this apply to men too? What do you call men who "give in" to their sexual urges?