A Loaded Question

[namkcuR]

So, there's this new show on ABC - "What About Brian" - I didn't watch the sneak preview tonight, and I don't know if I'm gonna watch it tomorrow night, but I saw the promos, and that's where the inspiration for this thread came from. In the promo's there is a line of dialog uttered by the lead character: "Do you ever have a day where you question every decision you've ever made in your life?"

Now I'm asking you:

Do you ever, or have you ever, had a day where you question every decision you've ever made in your life?

Think about it.

 

[Mr. BAW]

I've had daily thoughts about decisions that I made in the past...there are a number of moves that I regret, however, none that involve my present or future.

 

[the rockin edge]

i do sometimes wonder what if certain big things in my life would've been different, what would have happened. not that i had anything to do with how they were because most major decisions (until recently) have been made by my parents since i'm only 18.

 

[indra]

Now I'm asking you:

Do you ever, or have you ever, had a day where you question every decision you've ever made in your life?

Think about it.

Ha! Honey, I've had whole decades where I question every decision I've made in my life.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I think if you don't question maybe there's something wrong. Not question to the point that it paralyzes you and makes you beat yourself up over decisions, but to the point at which you are self aware and humble, honest about your self. I think that's important and healthy.

 

[BonosBaby12]

Ive had days where I have questioned past decisions. Yeah there are some regrets but you learn from your mistakes.

 

[Sweet Tart]

yeah i have questioned a lot of decisions i made in the past. don't know if i would have ended up better or worse off if i had chosen differently but you can't dwell on that.

 

[Mr. BAW]

Now I'm asking you:

Do you ever, or have you ever, had a day where you question every decision you've ever made in your life?

I thought about this last night...its called Experience...some good and some bad...from some you gain, other's you'll never do again....many of mine were career-related...

 

[SunBloc]

Some decisions, not necessarily the biggest ones, I do scrutinize and question more than others.

This is a deep question, Do I question my decisions too much?

 

[U2Girl1978]

Oh of course. Allllllll the time.

Do I regret some of the decisions I've made? Well, yes and no.

But hey, we live and learn from our mistakes.

 

[Rini]

Do you ever, or have you ever, had a day where you question every decision you've ever made in your life?

Sure; especially when I see the consequences.

I've tried to make the best decisions all along, but looking back (I'm old enough to be grandma to some of you and I hope I don't sound preachy) I realize the decisions were often poor because I knew so little.

Why should I spend years re-inventing the wheel when I can ask and find out in minutes, and build on that? You can learn not only from observation and experience but also from a person or a book, and considering there are books coming from over 2000 years back, you can find out what they knew and build on it - Newton called that "standing on the shoulders of giants." You can become a person with a 2000 year old education! Look for the old ways; nothing important has changed.

Yesterday's mistakes are out of reach in the past, but I can learn from it (both my mistakes and others') and make better decisions in the future. No one is perfect and we need to be kind to ourselves as well as others, but we can improve. We can teach what we learn to our children so they will have better lives. We sometimes have to live with permanent consequences to our decisions, and that's hard, but that is a teaching tool, too. Be a blessing to someone else.

I find no effort spent on the benefit of others is ever wasted. If they don't appreciate it or benefit from it, it's still made you a better person.

I'm guessing this question is coming from someone who feels like they wished they'd done things differently. So start today. I'm rooting for you!

 

[Party Boy]

Yeah I question why I made certain decisions in the past or why I didnt go a different route .. however, you can only make decisions with what you know at the time. You cannot live your life backwards - hindsight is very over rated.

Where decisions have led to places you didnt want to go, I've learnt something which ensures I don't make the same decision again. Its all part of living.

If every decision went the way you intended it to go, it would lead to a pretty boring life!

 

[AtomicBono]

sometimes I think too much about how my life would be if I could go back and do things differently, and I'm only 17. It's good to reflect every once and awhile, but you shouldn't dwell too much in the past, because you can't go backward, but if you're always looking back you won't move forward much either...

 

[anitram]

There aren't enough hours in a day to make that possible, frankly.

Sometimes I wonder how things would have gone. Most of the time, I think I've done a pretty good job of getting back on track after making a mistake.

 

[hiphop]

oh hell yeah. fucking up needs practice.

 

[Liesje]

Right now I feel very lucky because I'm doing well in school, I have some good jobs, I'm engaged, and set to graduate next month. Instead of questioning the past, I'm completely preoccupied with the possibilities of the future. Hopefully that won't change soon.

 

[Got Philk?]

and on the flip side of my fiance(see above) I don't so much look back and see mistakes, but more nervous as to where I'm going to go and what decisions I'm going to make in the near future. I don't want to screw those up.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to get married and move on with my life. Just career choices and, hell even what I want to do when I "grow up" . I just hope I make the right choices right now.

 

[Party Boy]

oh hell yeah. fucking up needs practice.

Too right! I've perfected a few good fuck ups over the years

 

[Thora]

Do you ever, or have you ever, had a day where you question every decision you've ever made in your life?

Absolutely! I definitely have my moments of doubt.

Sometimes I think about my life, and wonder what would have happened if I had made a different decision or gone a different way. Most of the time I realize that I wouldn't trade where I am now for anything in the world. I've learned from my mistakes, made some incredible friends, and had amazing experiences that I wouldn't have had if I had done things differently.

 

[SunBloc]

oh hell yeah. fucking up needs practice.

Life in a nutshell!!

 

[Carek1230]

Too right! I've perfected a few good fuck ups over the years

Well said and oh-so-true! I can certainly relate. I think it's onle natural to question some of the decisions we make in life, or to wonder what would have been if different decisions had been made, if circumstances were changed. It does nothing to dwell on those points though, just learn from your past to take it into making a brighter and better today and tomorrow.

My Grandmother who recently passed away always used to say "Any day I wake up is a good day!". I believe that.

 

[unforgettableFOXfire]

Yay, hypothetical time! (everyone who hates my posts, please ignore this, because its not going to be any less rambly and speculative than usual) Long story short: I agree with Mr. BAW.



Memory is a strange thing... I think the question assumes that people remember every single decision they've ever made, and that they remember the rationale and circumstances of that decision in absolute 100% accuracy. I think that it's an impossible undertaking. Think about how many decisions we make, both conciously and unconciously, every single day... and then apply that to every day of your life.

It's also a pointless question insofar as if you changed every decision you ever made, you'd be an entirely different person. Even if you changed only the ones you thought were 'bad decisions', you have no way of knowing that those decisions weren't the best possible decisions you could have made at the time -- there's no way to know that, if you had changed something whether your life would likely be better or likely be worse.

Passivity, as far as I've been able to learn from my experience, is not as significant an agent of change as activity - if you want something to be different, make it so by being an agent for yourself. If you look back on the past and decide you don't like who you are, you're the only one who can change you. It'd be a nice, easy, quick fix if you could just wish something had been different and have it be so but it's really not realistic. If we could just change the past, why would we have the capacity to learn lessons from experience anyway? Experience would be irrelevant to life, we could just go back and change things to get what we want. It'd be like snapping your fingers and having what you want without having to work for it. That seems like nothing but fantasy to me.

Mistakes will always be made, its a necessary fact of life, and it shouldn't stop you from living your life. I try to just keep on and to try not to let the minutiae of everyday obscure my sense of where I am and where I want to be going. The past is gone and it's not coming back so I don't want to worry about it.

 

[AtomicBono]

Yay, hypothetical time! (everyone who hates my posts, please ignore this, because its not going to be any less rambly and speculative than usual) Long story short: I agree with Mr. BAW.



Memory is a strange thing... I think the question assumes that people remember every single decision they've ever made, and that they remember the rationale and circumstances of that decision in absolute 100% accuracy. I think that it's an impossible undertaking. Think about how many decisions we make, both conciously and unconciously, every single day... and then apply that to every day of your life.

It's also a pointless question insofar as if you changed every decision you ever made, you'd be an entirely different person. Even if you changed only the ones you thought were 'bad decisions', you have no way of knowing that those decisions weren't the best possible decisions you could have made at the time -- there's no way to know that, if you had changed something whether your life would likely be better or likely be worse.

Passivity, as far as I've been able to learn from my experience, is not as significant an agent of change as activity - if you want something to be different, make it so by being an agent for yourself. If you look back on the past and decide you don't like who you are, you're the only one who can change you. It'd be a nice, easy, quick fix if you could just wish something had been different and have it be so but it's really not realistic. If we could just change the past, why would we have the capacity to learn lessons from experience anyway? Experience would be irrelevant to life, we could just go back and change things to get what we want. It'd be like snapping your fingers and having what you want without having to work for it. That seems like nothing but fantasy to me.

Mistakes will always be made, its a necessary fact of life, and it shouldn't stop you from living your life. I try to just keep on and to try not to let the minutiae of everyday obscure my sense of where I am and where I want to be going. The past is gone and it's not coming back so I don't want to worry about it.

excellent post

I do often wonder what I would do if I could go back even just a couple of years, but I realize that I don't know if I'd really change a damn thing. I'm where I am today because of every little decision I made until this moment. I'm not sure if I like where I am, but it's me. If I went back and changed stuff I'd be someone else, for better or for worse.

I dunno. In the end like I said before it's not smart to dwell on the past too much. But reflecting is good. And I'm big on nostalgia. I love memories really, because memories are what define us, what brought us here.