a bit of advice please?

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youtooellen

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Joined
Apr 5, 2005
Messages
2,580
First thing I'd be very grateful for advice is

How do I prevent procrastination?
Everyday I seem to deal with procrastinating on my homework and just about any household chores. I even procrastinate on downloading music, burning a cd, eating, etc. just about everything :huh:
Sometimes I forget what I was supposed to do and continue on with doing whatever I was doing. Then an hour or so later, I'd realize what I forgot, and then I'd end up procrastinating on what I was just doing. (I apologize if that makes no sense whatsoever..)

For example, today I didn't have school. And I have a huge pile of homework to do (5+ hours worth), and the night before I told myself I would spend the day doing my homework.
Well, it's almost 5 PM and I'm just beginning my homework. :|

any advice on how to prevent procrastination? :slant:

---

Second thing I'd like some help/advice on..

I need motivation in life. :|

Everyday I wake up, and I feel like it's just another day. I feel as if everyday is this endless cycle: wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, go to bed.

Even when I try to add some spice or something to my day, it gets old.
I'm only 16 yrs old. but I feel as if time is just slipping through my fingers. I feel like time is flying by, and before I know it, I'll be in my midthirties.
I want to make the best of my teenage years, but how can I experience it when there's so many restrictions and so many things preventing me from being myself and enjoying myself? Yeah, I know. I'm young and there's loads of time ahead of me to experience life to it's fullest. But these are 'the' years that everyone has talked about. These are 'the' years everyone has remembered and told stories to their kids about.

I despise waking up for school and learning out of books. I don't want to go to school, and as a result, my grades don't do as well as my parents expect. :slant:
To be honest, I want to wake up everyday and learn from experience. Travel the world, and breathe it all in. See different places of the world, not the same house I've lived in the past decade.

:sigh:
any advice from folks on how to motivate myself to do well in school and look forward to the future?
 
no.
I don't think there's a reason to.

but out of curiousity, why do you say I should?
:eyebrow:
 
With any luck your teenage years will not be the ones you tell your kids about. Beacuse once you get past them you will realise just how pitiful it would be if those years were indeed the "best years of your life." I always feel sorry for the 40 year olds (and older) who have spent more than half their lives longing for those seven years of acne, adolescence, and notoriously bad taste (hey, in a few years go back and look at the photos! :wink: ) instead of living the life they have.

You don't have to reinvent the wheel. Learn what you can from others experiences (ie, book learning) and you will be more ready to really experience the world in person.

This quote says it well: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon


As for procrastination...sorry can't help you there. I'm a horrible procrastinator. :shrug:
 
youtooellen,

School counselors are paid for by the system. If you are having any difficulties of any kind they are there to help you, encourage you, or just listen.

My sister had difficulties in high school and went to her school counselor every single day. He was so good to my sister that he became a dear friend of the family.

School counselors are there to help YOU. And, you might just make a good friend as well.
 
indra said:

This quote says it well: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

:hmm:
it's incredible how true that is.


U2gypsy said:
youtooellen,

School counselors are paid for by the system. If you are having any difficulties of any kind they are there to help you, encourage you, or just listen.

My sister had difficulties in high school and went to her school counselor every single day. He was so good to my sister that he became a dear friend of the family.

School counselors are there to help YOU. And, you might just make a good friend as well.

but I'm pretty sure I'm not having difficulties that require going to the school counselor. this is just me, overthinking thoughts going on in my head, and just asking for some friendly advice from others who might've gone through the same experience..
 
youtooellen said:
First thing I'd be very grateful for advice is

How do I prevent procrastination?
Everyday I seem to deal with procrastinating on my homework and just about any household chores. I even procrastinate on downloading music, burning a cd, eating, etc. just about everything :huh:
Sometimes I forget what I was supposed to do and continue on with doing whatever I was doing. Then an hour or so later, I'd realize what I forgot, and then I'd end up procrastinating on what I was just doing. (I apologize if that makes no sense whatsoever..)

For example, today I didn't have school. And I have a huge pile of homework to do (5+ hours worth), and the night before I told myself I would spend the day doing my homework.
Well, it's almost 5 PM and I'm just beginning my homework. :|

any advice on how to prevent procrastination? :slant:

---

Second thing I'd like some help/advice on..

I need motivation in life. :|

Everyday I wake up, and I feel like it's just another day. I feel as if everyday is this endless cycle: wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, go to bed.

Even when I try to add some spice or something to my day, it gets old.
I'm only 16 yrs old. but I feel as if time is just slipping through my fingers. I feel like time is flying by, and before I know it, I'll be in my midthirties.
I want to make the best of my teenage years, but how can I experience it when there's so many restrictions and so many things preventing me from being myself and enjoying myself? Yeah, I know. I'm young and there's loads of time ahead of me to experience life to it's fullest. But these are 'the' years that everyone has talked about. These are 'the' years everyone has remembered and told stories to their kids about.

I despise waking up for school and learning out of books. I don't want to go to school, and as a result, my grades don't do as well as my parents expect. :slant:
To be honest, I want to wake up everyday and learn from experience. Travel the world, and breathe it all in. See different places of the world, not the same house I've lived in the past decade.

:sigh:
any advice from folks on how to motivate myself to do well in school and look forward to the future?

Youtooellen,

School counselors can be very friendly! My suggestion to you might be to print your letter here, take it to your counselor, and talk it over with them.

Good luck!
 
Are you taking at least one class you enjoy?

Are you involved in at least one thing outside of school you really enjoy?

I didn't love high school by any means but had amazing friends on the cross country team. Every day after school we had practice and besides being in great shape, I got to goof off and hang out with my best friends. And on the weekends we were at it again; football games on Fridays and then travelling to our meet on Saturdays, coming back, and going out.

I also was always in an English class that I really enjoyed. It was a ton of hard work and many hours at a college library, but again was in class with my friends and learning a ton and feeling really accomplished.

I guess what I am saying is that if you have great friends and family and are lucky enough to get to spend a lot of time with them, the days don't seem as same old same old.

Or, as you mentioned, travelling is incredible and can fill a void, or supplement things. I am more of a loner now than I was in high school but I have travelled a lot since then and I wouldn't change things or my experiences abroad for the world. :up: Planning your next trip gives you something to look forward to. Granted you are still a bit young for travelling alone, but perhaps if you have the means you could save and go on a trip with your family or a school trip. Or plan to study abroad in college.

In terms of procrastination, I used to be great about not doing it (in high school and most of college) and now I'm an expert at it. :|
 
Dulce de Leche said:
I guess what I am saying is that if you have great friends and family and are lucky enough to get to spend a lot of time with them, the days don't seem as same old same old.

I have great friends and we do hang out a bit, it's just that everyone is confined, as if they're all in prison. They're all book nerds and study on their free time.. :nerd: . But when we do go out, it's tons of fun. :hmm: suppose that's a bit a motivation.

as for family.. well they're difficult to get along with. part of the reason why I'm unmotivated? They're a tough bunch to get along with is all.

Dulce de Leche said:
In terms of procrastination, I used to be great about not doing it (in high school and most of college) and now I'm an expert at it. :|

sounds like procrastination is either a disease for some or a skill for others eh? :wink:
 
As an adult, I sometimes have a thing with procrastination. My motto once was "put off today what you can do tomorrow" :D

What really helped was getting the things I really didn't like doing out of the way first, then the rest was a "piece of cake". Another thing...and you might not like this... I had to limit my time online - unless it's school or work-related. Even then, I always found myself surfing.

I think one thing to keep in mind is in order for you to go to college, your H.S. grades need to be acceptable so even though you dread hitting the books now, it will benefit you more in the long run.

Good luck sweetie :hug:
 
youtooellen,

I wasn't saying you had a disease. lol! No, not at all. We all procrastinate to some degree or another.

Perhaps you don't like the word -- counselor? Well, then change that word to your own personal school advisor. School advisors are trained in motivating students; that's why I made the suggestion. They are also trained in finding out what you really like to do, what makes YOU tick so to speak, and it's their job to point you in that direction. And, they can also counsel you on your family issues.

Take care!
 
Its easy to end procrastination. The first step is to STOP POSTING ABOUT HOW YOU PROCRASTINATE!

That allows your mind to over think what usually is a thoughtless or easy task. Thinking about doing something allows the task to be more daunting than need be. Though school is not officially a job, it should be seen as such.

When at work, its easy to just work because there are no distractions. You're stuck at your business of work. Just allocate time and go somewhere where there are no distractions and do it! Instead of thinking about all the time it will take you to do what you have to do, just think about what you can do when you're done.

Thus, the feeling of work satisified and the soul nourished. Or Whatever BS you want to believe.
 
U2gypsy said:

Perhaps you don't like the word -- counselor? Well, then change that word to your own personal school advisor. School advisors are trained in motivating students; that's why I made the suggestion. They are also trained in finding out what you really like to do, what makes YOU tick so to speak, and it's their job to point you in that direction. And, they can also counsel you on your family issues.

Take care!

thanks
but really, the reason why I'm kind of... iffy about the whole counselor thing is because my counselor is a bit... different. we don't see each other much, and he doesn't really.. help 'guide' me in any way. For example, setting up my class schedule this year was a huge hassle :slant:. he set his opinion before my opinion so.. I didn't get a lot of what I was hoping for this year, but what can ya do?
I guess it's also because he talks to me about my brother 24/7 and I get enough of that at home as it is :rolleyes:

but thanks. the whole 'finding out what makes you tick' line was pretty convincing. I'll consider it :up:


Mud in the Sand said:

Its easy to end procrastination. The first step is to STOP POSTING ABOUT HOW YOU PROCRASTINATE!

haha it's funny how thats so true
at the time that I was posting, I was procrastinating on eating dinner. :shifty:

it's even funnier how I forgot to eat dinner and just ended up mealing out on popcorn and orange juice and read a book.. :|

but hey! I'm doing my homework now so that's good right?
I have to write an essay for U.S. History comparing the Vietnam War, American Revolution, and the war in Iraq. :huh:

this is going to be one heckuva night. :sigh:
 
I was EXACTLY the same as you up untill now. I've just started my final year of highschool and realised what I want to do. Now i absolutly hate the idea of setting goals...don't listen to a work they tell you about that, but now I know I want to be a nurse it's like my life has taken a different turn. Things matter a whole lot more to me and I actually find myself liking some of the things I'm doing because I've never really studied before.

Trust me hang in there. It might feel like you will ever get rid of this habbit but it will go away eventually. You'll realise what you want to do with your life and mature a little bit. Don't worry about it. Time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time, as they say!
 
youtooellen,

You may be able to change your school counselor/advisor. Ask the office; tell them your current counselor and you don't relate well. See what they suggest.

I hope for a happy outcome for you!


:hug:
 
youtooellen said:
First thing I'd be very grateful for advice is

How do I prevent procrastination?
Everyday I seem to deal with procrastinating on my homework and just about any household chores. I even procrastinate on downloading music, burning a cd, eating, etc. just about everything :huh:
Sometimes I forget what I was supposed to do and continue on with doing whatever I was doing. Then an hour or so later, I'd realize what I forgot, and then I'd end up procrastinating on what I was just doing. (I apologize if that makes no sense whatsoever..)

For example, today I didn't have school. And I have a huge pile of homework to do (5+ hours worth), and the night before I told myself I would spend the day doing my homework.
Well, it's almost 5 PM and I'm just beginning my homework. :|

any advice on how to prevent procrastination? :slant:

---

Second thing I'd like some help/advice on..

I need motivation in life. :|

Everyday I wake up, and I feel like it's just another day. I feel as if everyday is this endless cycle: wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, go to bed.

Even when I try to add some spice or something to my day, it gets old.
I'm only 16 yrs old. but I feel as if time is just slipping through my fingers. I feel like time is flying by, and before I know it, I'll be in my midthirties.
I want to make the best of my teenage years, but how can I experience it when there's so many restrictions and so many things preventing me from being myself and enjoying myself? Yeah, I know. I'm young and there's loads of time ahead of me to experience life to it's fullest. But these are 'the' years that everyone has talked about. These are 'the' years everyone has remembered and told stories to their kids about.

I despise waking up for school and learning out of books. I don't want to go to school, and as a result, my grades don't do as well as my parents expect. :slant:
To be honest, I want to wake up everyday and learn from experience. Travel the world, and breathe it all in. See different places of the world, not the same house I've lived in the past decade.

:sigh:
any advice from folks on how to motivate myself to do well in school and look forward to the future?

Well I think probably everyone that's ever been in school before has felt that way at some point or another. I know I did most of my high school days. I think after growing up watching 'Saved By the Bell' and 'The Wonder Years' I had this notion that it was going to be really exciting and something new and cool would happen everyday, well it didn't lol. It was the complete opposite of everything I thought it would be. I can guarantee everyone get's tired of the routineness of it all...But you go on and push through it. If you think about it there will probably be some kind of routine even when you finish high school; be it with college, work, family life and so on.

But for now, since it seems like your really bored with school and feel like you could learn better through experience, have you thought about home schooling? I went to school with a guy that was bored to death sitting in the classroom and felt he could get where he wanted to be faster if he finished his senior year at home. And he did, he was able to focus on his music and go to work on certain days and do school work on the others and was all around happier than he was at school fallin' asleep at his desk lol.

It's just something to think about. If your parents aren't cool with that idea, a school counselor would definately help in talking to them as well as you about different options that may suit you better than regular high school. Hang in the there though, it'll get better :hug:
 
Re: Re: a bit of advice please?

AngelofHarlem01 said:


But for now, since it seems like your really bored with school and feel like you could learn better through experience, have you thought about home schooling? I went to school with a guy that was bored to death sitting in the classroom and felt he could get where he wanted to be faster if he finished his senior year at home. And he did, he was able to focus on his music and go to work on certain days and do school work on the others and was all around happier than he was at school fallin' asleep at his desk

it's not that I'm bored with school or anything, I guess I'm bored with routine. I have no concern for school really, even though my mind says it's important, I feel as if in the end it will make no difference. I feel as if what's the use in getting stressed over learning something when you can go out and learn it with your own eyes and hands?

which just adds to the motivation and procrastination and whatnot.

--

so I ended up doing really well on that U.S. History paper :up:
stayed up til 3:30AM writing it too, so i suppose its well worth it :|
 
Extra curricular activities, or volunteering, are the one thing that I think would have helped me. Esepcially if you've got some competitiveness in you...

Even like a language club, or recycling, or anything you might have an interest in. Sometimes...... by doing more, and having a more sturctured and active life, you will be much moreactive, and you won't have time to procrastinate.

Of course, most people are either too busy, or too lazy, but maybe alternating between the two is the best, if you cannot find a balance.

There is a way to develope a love of learning. Perhaps you need to figure out how things correlate with each other. But learning is a tricky thing.... you need to find out how you do it best for you. That, and controlling your attitude... it's very hard to do, but an invaluable skill.

Highschool grades are important.

Perhaps...
making them more public would help?
It seems like you care about them to some extent...


I don't know, this is another one of those things that you have to find out what works for you. Keep us updated with your... experimenting.
 
When I procrastinated in HS, it's because I knew I could get away with it, and ended up accepting less than my best for a lot of things, but I still managed to do decently.

It's a hard trap not to fall into...


Also, I'd advise taking as challenging a course as you can stand. Don't slack off. It will be better for you in many ways. Even in your senior year, keep going. School is for learning, not socializing.... I wish I understood/thoght of it that way sooner.

(all be it I was a recluse, but still, I wasted thoughts on social things...)
 
For Honor said:
When I procrastinated in HS, it's because I knew I could get away with it, and ended up accepting less than my best for a lot of things, but I still managed to do decently.

It's a hard trap not to fall into...

that's actually how I am right now to be honest. :|


I don't do as well as I should... everyone tells me if I put in the effort I can do so well and that I really am smart it's just that I should try.

but as much as I want to try, I don't feel motivated TO try :huh:

even when I know I'm hurting myself by not trying, I still do it anyway
 
hey Ellen :wave: Well, I am 16 as well, and I can tell you, this year I've been feeling exactly the same as you are feeling: I haven't got the same interest in studying and learning as I sued to, and I really hate school because of what you mentiones primarily: routine and learning things out of books/teahcers who lots of times don't practice the high moral values they try to teach...

I know that a main reason is that I don't feel very good in my class: classmates suck, and I really feel my best friends could be closer to me. I really try to get on well with everyone, but aome of them are really deceptive just because they can be. I dunno :shrug:

Are those friends you talk about from school? Because if they aren't, maybe trying to get on better with your classmates can motivate you to get up knowing you'll meet them; that really makes you want to go to school: I used to feel like that.

My only activity in my whol life is boring school, I don't do any kind of lesson. I do have the number to call a guitar teacehr though, my parents offered it to me, but I neve did... I wonder what I complain about sometimes: is it laziness? Shyness or being afraid of new things?? Hmm, maybe that is happening to you as well.

All in all, I don't think I'm offering much help here :huh:, but well, sometimes all we need is a bit of empathy. :hug:
 
VicksSs said:

Are those friends you talk about from school? Because if they aren't, maybe trying to get on better with your classmates can motivate you to get up knowing you'll meet them; that really makes you want to go to school: I used to feel like that.

My only activity in my whol life is boring school, I don't do any kind of lesson. I do have the number to call a guitar teacehr though, my parents offered it to me, but I neve did... I wonder what I complain about sometimes: is it laziness? Shyness or being afraid of new things?? Hmm, maybe that is happening to you as well.

All in all, I don't think I'm offering much help here :huh:, but well, sometimes all we need is a bit of empathy. :hug:

hey vickss :wave: glad to hear the video worked out for you :wink:

but anyways, all of my friends already know about my issue with school. but they wouldn't understand because well.. they ARE motivated to do well in school. my friends are great, but they aren't too great when I try to relate to them and whatnot.

I don't do any activities but I do play guitar on the side and that usually gives me some excitement at the close of my schoolday. but this year i haven't had much time to play because of well.. too much homework :huh: .

it's ironic because I also don't know if it's shyness or laziness or anything along those lines. :|
I'm naturally outgoing with things but I don't understand why I feel this ... feeling to just.. not try. :slant:
 
Aha, I get what you mean. Well yes, I wasn't able to play the guitar for three weeks thanks to homework, I just grabbed it yesterday, and I don't even play it at school, the only subject I seem to enjoy is Art, and lots of times it is because we don't do anything :lol: Well, actually it is sad: :sad: :p
 
Hmm...... youtooellen and lemonchick in the same situations..... If either one of you finds something out, you should try to share your method with the other.........

good luck :up:


........... "The harder you work, the luckier you get " ..........
 
VicksSs said:
the only subject I seem to enjoy is Art, and lots of times it is because we don't do anything

that's how I feel about one of my classes. in american lit we're reading Huck Finn and I can't seem to bring myself to read it cause I find it to be really boring. i usually LOVE reading books but for some reason I can't read this. :|
since it's so boring.. I'm behind over 10 chapters worth of reading in the book. :banghead: procrastination :angry: i have my test on tuesday too.. :der:

I'm actually starting my homework now. I can't seem to do things right with myself. earlier I was sorting my books and stuff out and organizing my binder. and now I've begun my homework. :| I have two chapter worth of cornell notes to do in my us history textbook. :sad:

--

For Honor said:
........... "The harder you work, the luckier you get " ..........

it's so true.
thanks FH
 
hmmm well a god point on your side is that you are still i the middle of the year. Ove ehre we are ending, it is the last trimester and I really got to work hard to raise some marks that I have a bit low, because I know that if I have to go to exam in December/March (school ends in Nov.) I will be literally killed by my parents, anmd I'd like to avoid that...

Something useful you can do to avoid procrastination is having an agenda and writing a To Do list. I was given a Palm for my 15th birthday and there is a To Do app in which you set dates to do certain tasks, and if you don't do it before the deadline the letters of the particular task get bold and there's an exclamation mark... I dunno if you ever saw one. Believe it or not, I hate when that happens :lol:, so that sometimes helps me avoid procrastination. You can do the same with an agenda :) do you have one? It helps lots of people :hug:
 
a Palm? that sound so cool :hmm:

school ends in November for you? :der:
school ends in June for me :|

but then again, we do live in different places of the world. :wink:

hmm, to be honest that palm thing sounds really neat. I used to write my schedule/agenda down on a piece of paper and it kept me on task a bit. but I stopped doing that a year or so ago because... well. I kept losing the paper of my agenda. and rewriting it and trying to recall what I had to do was such a hassle for me. :slant:

have I mentioned that I have horrible memory? I have dozens of post its on my wall with random things to remind me of what I need to do. But... I always forget either way. :huh:
 
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