What do you need?

[Got Philk?]

Perhaps this is old and boring, but I wanted to share.

This is kind of fun. Google your first name and the word "needs." For example, "Phil needs." Record the first ten things that come up. Here's mine:

Phil needs....

1. to start an antidote within 48 hours
2. to help AT&T and Verizon
3. needs and benefits.
4. more attentions than a "normal" boy but we treat him as a "normal" child as much as possible
5. a car in the Cape Winelands
6. to die!!
7. margins along sides of windows
8. constant care
9. child as a puzzle
10. to be rethought

 

[phillyfan26]

Dan needs...

1. your help!
2. life support.
3. to answer tough questions.
4. to improve tactically and mentally.
5. to overcome himself.
6. tech support.
7. your home remedies.
8. a kidney.
9. a shave
10. a slump buster.

 

[corianderstem]

Alicia needs...

1. to let Jeremy take full responsibility
2. more funky beats and innovative tunes in her music
3. a very special environment in which she will be protected, cared for, and loved
4. corrective surgery on her hips in the future because she's missing some of her toes.
5. to apologize for conceited comment
6. to find money to pay for her last semester
7. a freshman class president slogan
8. to know if there are scissors, crayons, paper, and pencils available at home
9. to quit making out with that microphone
10. to continue to challenge herself in terms of the level of thinking, leadership, and writing abilities.

(I feel I must add that #2, #5 and #9 are the hazards of sharing a name with a famous pop singer. Thanks, Alicia Keys!)

 

[bono_212]

Ashley needs
1) to keep wearing stuff like this.
2) an escape
3) you like water in her lungs
4) to get something off her chest
5) help
6) to get a new agent.
7) a nap.
8) to take control of *his* club
9) needs prayer
10) must spend big.


Dang, I'm pretty emo.

Also, like Cori, many of mine are for Ashley Olsen.

 

[GirlsAloudFan]

GAF needs...

1. Real women with real sound systems
2. To stop sending drinks now
3. To touch his roots
4. Our prayers
5. A poke in the other eye
6. To buy a tractor and a mower with at least an 8 ft. deck
7. A new shift key
8. Help
9. A moment to compose himself after breaking the news of Tom DeLay's indictment for campaign finance violations
10. To put out an album

 

[Axver]

André needs
1. to be slapped
2. to stop harassing me
3. money
4. to STOP singing like NOW
5. nickname
6. to play to such large arenas
7. to accept that no-one is self-sufficient all the time
8. maximum support to ensure his safety
9. to make up his mind about the future of the group
10. to just sit back and learn everything he can

 

[Screwtape2]

Justin needs...

1. to start playing Smash bros. again.
2. needs your help.
3. needs to bring humble back.
4. needs a date.
5. needs a partner to sing with at the Grammys in February.
6. needs an attitude adjustment.
7. needs help to get to CPAC.
8. needs a wash.
9. needs structure.
10. needs - Australia.

What did I ever do to Google?! The CPAC one is just cruel.

 

[angelordevil]

Alicia needs...
4. corrective surgery on her hips in the future because she's missing some of her toes.

It's okay.


Kip needs:

1. meme
2. volunteers!
3. your number
4. to be aware of all facets of our Town government, particularly how it affects education, but also how it affects our Town services in general
5. to raise money for the fee
6. to get some sun
7. someone to adopt him and pro- vide a safe and secure home
8. to complete a total of over 30 triathlons of varying lengths
9. to recall this model
10. to shut the fuck up!

 

[corianderstem]

It's okay.

I loved that one, too. That particular Alicia was a cat needing to be adopted.

 

[Total U2 Nut]

Natalie needs...

1. a nightie
2. to get a life
3. your support
4. your prayers and support
5. to go
6. insulin injections twice daily
7. your vote
8. to relax
9. a bad boy on a motorcycle(!)
10. some cheering up

 

[beegee]

I'm a mess

Mindy needs...

1. to find support so she won't have to feel like she needs to flirt for attention or to be accepted
2. to read this
3. to focus on putting her life in order, getting and staying sober, and being a mother to her son
4. to stay committed to rehab, or the mental hospital, for as long as it takes this time to get better
5. to get her life together, she needs to leave billy and seek some serious help
6. to clean up her act she goes through men like i change pants
7. to give Nicole Ritchie's attorney a call
8. a donut to drown her sorrows
9. GUIDANCE FROM A PERSON WHO CARES ENOUGH TO SAY NO (in caps, no less!)
10. to find a financial backer

Apparently, there's a country singer named Mindy McCready who needs a lot of help

 

[No spoken words]

Mike needs:

1) To find a date
2) To get a clue, RIGHT NOW
3) Mike needs help
4) A Wee (Not sure if I need to go to the bathroom, or if Wii is just misspelled here)
5) A Heart
6) Dave's help (If this refers to Dave C, fuck that)
7) Your Help
8) To calm down
9) To flex my muscles
10) A Vacation

I like #10.

 

[Got Philk?]

This may be my most successful thread ever.

 

[DaveC]

6) Dave's help (If this refers to Dave C, fuck that)

Maybe you need some help introducing a knuckle sandwich to your face, huh?

It's okay, I wouldn't want your assistance anyways.

Dave needs:

1. to just win the Western final, baby!
2. ... to work one of these into his live appearances.
3. a bike.
4. a drummer for the SWEETEST DEATHCORE BAND ON THE PLANET!!!
5. a shower.
6. "Apparently Dave needs pants."
7. a timeout.
8. ... some servers, and I guarantee the money will be sweet! Come in and apply in person between 12 and 6.
9. to make a pit-stop on the way home.
10. ... a little "friendly help", if you catch my meaning.

 

[Lila64]

Lila needs:

1. to enlist as many people as it can in order to fulfill its vision ...
2. a programmer
3. your prayers
4. RP partner, maybe more
5. to be washed
6. to be experienced before it can be understood
7. to Go......
8. lots of love and care
9. to pay this balance
10. no one to be great

 

[Cin]

Katrina needs
1. to be more mysterious
2. U to CUM
3. your help
4. still unmet
5. to be investigated
6. pearl necklace
7. a tech makeover
8. numbers
9. wholesale revision
10. themes and routines


I'm not entirely sure I like some of these

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

let's see who actually reads mine, haha

10. ... a little "friendly help", if you catch my meaning.

Ok, here's mine:

April needs:
1. a pancreas translplant
2. $1 million (yes, please!!!!!!!)
3. to be IP banned
4. to stay
5. a ride to Grandma's
6. your vote!
7. fuel pump, cars
8. pro-active skincare (not)
9. a little more penatration
10. your help!

 

[DaveC]

9. a little more penatration

Sometimes, the jokes write themselves.

 

[DreamOutLoud13]

Chasity needs...

1. to get a life and a boyfriend.
2. a loving family that can provide a structured and nurturing environment.
3. to be harnessed.
4. to be taken out of the home and put in a mental ward for awhile and then placed someplace out of the town.
5. all phone numbers of friends.
6. to win the lottery.
7. to go out on her own and leave old Cher alone.
8. to give Nadine the list of prizes, gift cards, and Family Fun Night information prior to the kickoff.
9. to stop before it's too late.
10. to learn that what goes around comes around in due time.

 

[Carek1230]

Karen needs....

1. money for the mentoring pizza
2. a new Job
3. a lobotomy
4. to learn how to compliment her workers
5. to have full carbohydrate stores, and be well hydrated
6. additional time for laundry and changing bed linen
7. care and supervision twenty-fours hours a day
8. a rest
9. money to buy the roller skates she desperately wants.
10. to use the bathroom

 

[BoMac]

a little more penatration

 

[Sicy]

Christine needs

1. to know where her inventory is located at all times
2. some Lovin`. c`mon. you know you love me =)
3. to have kids
4. to change his freakin' picture
5. to see her doctors tomorrow
6. to pee!
7. to prove that she doesn’t need anyone
8. to go back and read some of her earlier books
9. to present release paper
10. to know when she gets back

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Sometimes, the jokes write themselves.

I really should've put money on who was going to comment on that one first.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Anna needs:

1. ... content
2. to be excused from class today
3. sex
4. to find a toilet
5. more coffee
6. whatever sense of humour works for her
7. more match practice
8. to show more ticker
9. a muesli bar
10. ANNA NEEDS VERIFICATION (in caps!)

 

[TripThruUreWires]

Brooke needs:

1. your help naming her new album
2. to butt out
3. a date, a fling, and fun
4. a spanking ... or so she says
5. a loving and supportive family that can provide her with ... structure ...
6. to remain Brooke White
7. makeup ASAP
8. a cute outfit
9. a lot more than a fairy godmother
10. a job

lovely

 

[A_Wanderer]

Wanderer needs:
1 - a faithful flea
2 - some buddies
3 - your vote
4 - his sleep
5 - your support
6 - the feeling of security he found with God
7 - it now
8 - a coat
9 - to be aware of con artists
10 - some shoes

 

[kiwilad]

Craig needs...

1/ to sell his '92 Saturn SL2
2/ to please a lot more fans
3/ to resign, not because he is gay (?)
4/ New York 'Defiance'
5/ facebook
6/ a hug by ryan
7/ someone to kiss his boo boo
8/ viagra
9/ to Learn How to Keep His Mouth Shut
10/ support

Ok, is this a set up?

 

[mad1]

these are funny! under my name I:


Needs to open mouth and sing
Needs to ensure that she has saved enough during the first twenty years
needs maximum friend time
needs Vitamin D
needs to take a long hard look at herself in the mirror and personally it looks to me like she isn't up to even seeing the problems lmao
needs eye drops to help her vision -
needs to be whacked YEAH!
Needs 'Leadership Training'
needs a good night's sleep
needs to come up heads


scary thing is, just a very few seem true?

 

[nadie]

This thread is epic.

Helena needs...

1. ...to keep all three chairs to stay active in these sports.
2. ...a 'brand'.
3. ...to overcome her own insecurities.
4. ...to read The Rules.
5. ...to buy a modern supermini with a low insurance rating...
6. ...someone to step up to the plate and organize a tennis league.
7. ...to stock up on Bean-O!
8. ...to reimburse the school for all damaged materials, period.
9. ...to turn 2 more or gain 35 more Slayer points to reach the next level: Moonlit Slayer!
10. ...to be who she really is and stop tring to hard to be someone who she clearly is not.

 

[redhotswami]

Mia needs...
1. To stop doing interviews.
2. Help get more sparklies to save Grandma.
3. A home!
4. Spay sponsor.
5. To work on an international scale.
6. To get dressed. (fuck that)
7. Our prayers.
8. Help.
9. A place to call home.
10. A new home.


So 3, 4, 9, and 10 are all from pet adoption sites. Which means, Mia is a bitch.