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Old 09-06-2008, 06:18 PM   #1
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We need some new Holidays...

Out with the old boring Holiday shite.

Create and submit your own and give a brief description why I should consider it for a National Holiday.
(Yes, I have that kind of power.)



I'll start:

Sept. 6
National Mame all Idiot Drivers Day.

By the power invested BY me, I declare anyone driving inconsiderably to others,(discretion of accuser) can and will be maimed, in any way shape or form seen fit.

No real explanation needed.
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Old 09-06-2008, 08:04 PM   #2
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Out with the old boring Holiday shite.

Create and submit your own and give a brief description why I should consider it for a National Holiday.
(Yes, I have that kind of power.)



I'll start:

Sept. 6
National Mame all Idiot Drivers Day.

By the power invested BY me, I declare anyone driving inconsiderably to others,(discretion of accuser) can and will be maimed, in any way shape or form seen fit.

No real explanation needed.
I'd be on board with that! The comedian Gallagher used to have a bit about we should be able to shoot arrows at the cars of idiot drivers--the arrows would stick to the cars with such a strong glue that they couldn't be removed. When a certain number of arrows accumulated on a car, it would be taken away from the driver, and the driver would lose his/her license forever. So I think he'd be down with this, too!
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Old 09-06-2008, 08:11 PM   #3
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September 13. Stevie K. Day.

We all get to wear paisley, smoke pot, and sing Church songs. Works for me.
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Old 09-06-2008, 08:18 PM   #4
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I'd be on board with that! The comedian Gallagher used to have a bit about we should be able to shoot arrows at the cars of idiot drivers--the arrows would stick to the cars with such a strong glue that they couldn't be removed. When a certain number of arrows accumulated on a car, it would be taken away from the driver, and the driver would lose his/her license forever. So I think he'd be down with this, too!
i remember that bit. if only we could do that!
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Old 09-06-2008, 09:07 PM   #5
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I think that on your birthday, you should be legally permitted to kill an enemy.

You have to submit paperwork no later than one month prior to your birthday to a government agency that determines the validity of the enemy claim. If the claim is approved, the enemy in question is notified one day before the birthday that they can be legally killed on the day in question. So, they can flee, but, the government agency is required to report all monetary transactions on the day in question to the the person celebrating the birthday. If they buy a plane ticket, check into a hotel, etc, their location will be known. Smart people will use cash only and maybe stick to fleeing by car, but you never know. Smarter people will use surveillance on their enemy prior to their birthday, and track them.

That might not be a holiday, per se, so, how's this:

Attack Canada Day. Every May 25th, the US attacks a province in Canada. That province is determined by an on-line vote of all US Citizens 2 months before the attack.

That sounds less than festive.

How about stab Uberbeaver day? M I RITE?!?!?! No? Yes??? Oh, you said no again, sorry.

Um.

I don't know.
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Old 09-06-2008, 09:23 PM   #6
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How about stab Uberbeaver day? M I RITE?!?!?! No? Yes??? Oh, you said no again, sorry.

Um.

I don't know.
I approve of this Holiday, but it has to be with tiny sweet pickles, until he succombs.

:stampofapproval:
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Old 09-06-2008, 10:21 PM   #7
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I'll make a note of these holidays...and one day when I'm in Congress I'll propose them as legislation
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Old 09-06-2008, 10:37 PM   #8
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Sweeet!
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:04 PM   #9
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I think that on your birthday, you should be legally permitted to kill an enemy.

You have to submit paperwork no later than one month prior to your birthday to a government agency that determines the validity of the enemy claim. If the claim is approved, the enemy in question is notified one day before the birthday that they can be legally killed on the day in question. So, they can flee, but, the government agency is required to report all monetary transactions on the day in question to the the person celebrating the birthday. If they buy a plane ticket, check into a hotel, etc, their location will be known. Smart people will use cash only and maybe stick to fleeing by car, but you never know. Smarter people will use surveillance on their enemy prior to their birthday, and track them.
You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:05 PM   #10
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You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?
Nope, thought of it on the spot. Some of us can think on our feet (AMERICAAAAAA!!!!!)
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:09 PM   #11
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Nope, thought of it on the spot. Some of us can think on our feet (AMERICAAAAAA!!!!!)
You don't seem yourself lately.
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:10 PM   #12
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You don't seem yourself lately.
Did you read my note under my edit, M'Lady?
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:18 PM   #13
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Did you read my note under my edit, M'Lady?
I did. I was referring to your avatar, and my own capacity to tolerate change.

I decided to attribute your anti-Canadian sentiments to your usual blowhard American self, and move on.
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:19 PM   #14
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I did. I was referring to your avatar, and my own capacity to tolerate change.

I decided to attribute your anti-Canadian sentiments to your usual blowhard American self, and move on.
Americans know no other way.

And forgive me for being dense re: Avatar change. The signature remains, at least.
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:23 PM   #15
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Americans know no other way.

And forgive me for being dense re: Avatar change. The signature remains, at least.
'tis true.

Forgiven.

Speaking of signatures, only one person has commented on mine. ONE PERSON! That one person has attained a very high ranking on my infinitely cool list, but I have to say, I'm a little disappointed in the rest of you. Tsk, tsk.
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