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Old 09-06-2008, 10:22 PM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: pig farming in Bolivia
Posts: 7,279
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This reminds me of my childhood, when we lived out on a rural redneck area in hee-haw. Daddy spent his days out in the fields drinking his homeade moonshine and talking to imaginary people way out by the pond. When he had too much to drink sometimes he would beat the cows with his bare fists, and he never milked them so they would swell up into giant big cows. One spring afternoon a vicious tornado came and took daddy to his great reward, and we were left to grieve and cultivate the land on our own.

One day among chores my brother and I found daddy's old stash of homeade brew that had aged in his still out near the woodshed. We drank ourselves silly until a real life apparition of Daddy appeared to us and challenged us to a duel. First we fought each other till we bled all over the corn, then we got mad at daddy for laughing at us. He then told us to sacrifice the crops so we would have a better harvest next year. So we set the fields on fire. The smell from the burning sent us into a daze. Then daddy ordered us to sacrifice all of the animals for him so we slaughtered everything in sight; pigs, chickens, ducks, rabbits, whatever we could find. Then there were the giant cows, which sat around all day and ate grass and Mooed at everything. We took some of the cows to the middle of the burning fields and began to chop them into pieces until blood and milk sprayed out the flames.

Daddy was proud, but told us we needed to rekindle the flames so again we set them on fire using his moonshine as an accelerant and the wind to carry out his wishes and our deed. As the crops burned and began to spread rapidly, we became even more dizzy till we passed out in the carnage surrounded by smoke and flames. The leftover cows sensed death was coming for them so they climbed up the trees to escape. When they were surrounded by flames with no way out, several of the cows hanged themselves in desperation from the big old trees as birds picked insects out of them to take back to their boiling eggs.

After much destruction and murder, we awoke to daddy standing over us smiling like a proud father would. "Boys, you done real good" was all he would say and how fitting the only compliment he ever gave us in our lives came after he had lost his own. We then asked daddy why he made us do all of this to our home, our land, our stock, and our crops. His answer suprised because he simply told us he "was homesick". If he was homesick, we asked him, why would he want us to destroy everything in flames? "I'm not homesick for this place, he said, i have just been kicked out of my eternal home where there is much death, agony, and constant fiery destruction. I'm simply trying to earn my way back there". With that, he turned and walked away disappearing into the flames and we haven't seen him since.
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