So, I've got the jock itch

[Dalton]

I started training for a marathon that I'd like to run in the spring, which means I'm running quite a bit more than I have in the last few months. The other night I wake up at 2 or 3 and my inner thighs are itching like a motherfucker. I's got the jock itch.

Now, I've never had the man itch before so I wasn't sure what to do. Thank God for google! (Phelps swims at 9pm est you arrogant prick.) Thankfully Lotromin makes an over-the-counter spray for your balls. Its amazing. When you first spray it on it's freezing cold, then it becomes burning hot before it stabilizes and it feels like your sack is sitting in a glass of warm water. Brilliant!

But here is my question. If scientists can make such an amazing spray, why can't they make me some underwear that breath a little better?

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

didn't we have a conversation about this? oh wait, it was something else

i'm uh, glad your jock itch is better?

:backs away slowly:

 

[No spoken words]

I started training for a marathon that I'd like to run in the spring, which means I'm running quite a bit more than I have in the last few months. The other night I wake up at 2 or 3 and my inner thighs are itching like a motherfucker. I's got the jock itch.

Now, I've never had the man itch before so I wasn't sure what to do. Thank God for google! (Phelps swims at 9pm est you arrogant prick.) Thankfully Lotromin makes an over-the-counter spray for your balls. Its amazing. When you first spray it on it's freezing cold, then it becomes burning hot before it stabilizes and it feels like your sack is sitting in a glass of warm water. Brilliant!

But here is my question. If scientists can make such an amazing spray, why can't they make me some underwear that breath a little better?

The 9pmET race is just a heat. 10:15pmET is a gold medal race.

Your wife feels bad about what you're going through.

 

[lazarus]

Lotromin?! Fuck that shit. BEN GAY.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

don't use lotrimin as eyedrops, folks.

 

[phillyfan26]

Dalton

 

[Dalton]

I swear to God, every time I use the spray I feel like I should be singing a Jimmy Buffet song. Change of attitude indeed.

 

[LMP]

You sure you're not singing "Pencil Thin Mustache?"

 

[U2Fanatic4ever]

holy shit.. what did I just walk into


***slowly backs out of thread***

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

1 word: Commando

 

[lazarus]

1 word: Commando

Why don't you let off some steam, Dalton?

 

[~BrightestStar~]

The first Olympians wore nothing but a pretty little laurel wreath of olive.

I think there is a lesson to be learned here.
Can ya dig it?

 

[Dalton]

The first Olympians wore nothing but a pretty little laurel wreath of olive.

I think there is a lesson to be learned here.
Can ya dig it?

No WAY!

YouTube - Creme Egg - Newtons Cradle

 

[~BrightestStar~]

I thought you were jogging, not throwing ball bearings at your scrotum.


YouTube - Explosive Testicles

 

[lazarus]

Dalton, are you sure you didn't buy this accidentally?

 

[Dalton]

I thought you were jogging, not throwing ball bearings at your scrotum.

Sorry. I never went to college.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

Sorry. I never went to college.

but you did go to university:

Hamburger University

 

[Dalton]

but you did go to university:

Hamburger University

Too true. I was part of the prestigious Fry Fellowship.

 

[redhotswami]

Too true. I was part of the prestigious Fry Fellowship.

Beta Eta Fry?

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

lol

 

[U2Fanatic4ever]

Beta Eta Fry?

 

[hardyharhar]

Jogging with faulty underwear? Mmmkay...

I think otc meds called pyrethrins should take care of your particular ailment.

Not that I know anything about them, cuz I don't jog

 

[mad1]

Its amazing. When you first spray it on it's freezing cold, then it becomes burning hot before it stabilizes and it feels like your sack is sitting in a glass of warm water. Brilliant!

you must have a pretty small sack man.

Dalton, you are funny, I swear you are so fukin funny.

is everything cleared up now? (if you do dare to have the 'balls' to come back and tell?)

good luck with the running. please, just wear tight shorts, you will make all the other guys so jealous that your chest has more hair in the centre than a man overdosing on slap-on-lotion to gain some on his head.

 

[cydewaze]

I just use me some medium-grit sandpaper.

 

[mad1]

you cycle a lot, dont you Cydez?

 

[Dalton]

mads, I slapped it up, flipped it and rubbed it down.

 

[cydewaze]

you cycle a lot, dont you Cydez?

Yezz

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

i believe that street looks familiar

 

[angelordevil]

But here is my question. If scientists can make such an amazing spray, why can't they make me some underwear that breath a little better?

I’m sure there are underwear out there for you, somewhere. I've never had this so-called “itch,” but apparently, spray is not the only solution. This also cures it:

I remember watching the ad for that as a kid, and thinking adulthood had truly horrible things in store for me--beyond the anticipated ‘shaving-my-face-every-day’ practice. People in these ads had strange aches & pains, constantly gritted teeth, frowning faces…they were also victims of Male Itch. All of this could all be taken away, however, with the Medicated Relief of Gold Bond!!

I think it’s worth trying…maybe you can report back.

 

[redhotswami]

mads, I slapped it up, flipped it and rubbed it down.

oh no!