Post stupid shit that you've seen idiots share on social media.

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cobl04

45:33
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Jun 3, 2005
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So one of my great, great pet hates is people who share, like, post, retweet etc things that are just so obviously fake on social media, whether it be Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, whatever. They are usually well-meaning, relatively switched-on individuals that, for whatever reason, get sucked in by idiotic bullshit and decide to click the share button instead of spending five seconds typing it into google to see whether or not it's real.

I vent about it often, so I figure this might be a good place for others to vent when they see stupid things posted on social media by idiots.

It might be fake Marilyn Monroe quotes, it might be words uttered by a former British PM reattributed to an American rapper, it might be fake financial figures used to feed xenophobic agendas, it might be bullshit stories.

I'm going to post one I saw on Facebook recently. Maybe you've seen it, maybe not. It's the "Russian sleep experiment". I've spoilered it because it's a long read, but basically it's a supposed cover-up about a group of POWs who were put in a chamber with a gas that kept them awake. Eventually they all start going insane, turning into cannibals, it just goes on and on and on and with every word it becomes more and more painfully obvious that it is complete and utter bullshit. But sure enough, a mate of mine shared it on Facebook - "interestin.... food for thought" - and despite my insistence that it was fake and it took five seconds to find that out, it got likes, comments from more idiots thinking that it might be real.

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Russian researchers in the late 1940s kept five people awake for fifteen days using an experimental gas based stimulant. They were kept in a sealed environment to carefully monitor their oxygen intake so the gas didn't kill them, since it was toxic in high concentrations. This was before closed circuit cameras so they had only microphones and 5 inch thick glass porthole sized windows into the chamber to monitor them. The chamber was stocked with books, cots to sleep on but no bedding, running water and toilet, and enough dried food to last all five for over a month.

The test subjects were political prisoners deemed enemies of the state during World War II.

Everything was fine for the first five days; the subjects hardly complained having been promised (falsely) that they would be freed if they submitted to the test and did not sleep for 30 days. Their conversations and activities were monitored and it was noted that they continued to talk about increasingly traumatic incidents in their past, and the general tone of their conversations took on a darker aspect after the 4 day mark.

After five days they started to complain about the circumstances and events that lead them to where they were and started to demonstrate severe paranoia. They stopped talking to each other and began alternately whispering to the microphones and one way mirrored portholes. Oddly they all seemed to think they could win the trust of the experimenters by turning over their comrades, the other subjects in captivity with them. At first the researchers suspected this was an effect of the gas itself...

After nine days the first of them started screaming. He ran the length of the chamber repeatedly yelling at the top of his lungs for 3 hours straight, he continued attempting to scream but was only able to produce occasional squeaks. The researchers postulated that he had physically torn his vocal cords. The most surprising thing about this behavior is how the other captives reacted to it... or rather didn't react to it. They continued whispering to the microphones until the second of the captives started to scream. The 2 non-screaming captives took the books apart, smeared page after page with their own feces and pasted them calmly over the glass portholes. The screaming promptly stopped.

So did the whispering to the microphones.

After 3 more days passed. The researchers checked the microphones hourly to make sure they were working, since they thought it impossible that no sound could be coming with 5 people inside. The oxygen consumption in the chamber indicated that all 5 must still be alive. In fact it was the amount of oxygen 5 people would consume at a very heavy level of strenuous exercise. On the morning of the 14th day the researchers did something they said they would not do to get a reaction from the captives, they used the intercom inside the chamber, hoping to provoke any response from the captives they were afraid were either dead or vegetables.

They announced: "We are opening the chamber to test the microphones; step away from the door and lie flat on the floor or you will be shot. Compliance will earn one of you your immediate freedom."

To their surprise they heard a single phrase in a calm voice response: "We no longer want to be freed."

Debate broke out among the researchers and the military forces funding the research. Unable to provoke any more response using the intercom it was finally decided to open the chamber at midnight on the fifteenth day.

The chamber was flushed of the stimulant gas and filled with fresh air and immediately voices from the microphones began to object. 3 different voices began begging, as if pleading for the life of loved ones to turn the gas back on. The chamber was opened and soldiers sent in to retrieve the test subjects. They began to scream louder than ever, and so did the soldiers when they saw what was inside. Four of the five subjects were still alive, although no one could rightly call the state that any of them in 'life.'

The food rations past day 5 had not been so much as touched. There were chunks of meat from the dead test subject's thighs and chest stuffed into the drain in the center of the chamber, blocking the drain and allowing 4 inches of water to accumulate on the floor. Precisely how much of the water on the floor was actually blood was never determined. All four 'surviving' test subjects also had large portions of muscle and skin torn away from their bodies. The destruction of flesh and exposed bone on their finger tips indicated that the wounds were inflicted by hand, not with teeth as the researchers initially thought. Closer examination of the position and angles of the wounds indicated that most if not all of them were self-inflicted.

The abdominal organs below the ribcage of all four test subjects had been removed. While the heart, lungs and diaphragm remained in place, the skin and most of the muscles attached to the ribs had been ripped off, exposing the lungs through the ribcage. All the blood vessels and organs remained intact, they had just been taken out and laid on the floor, fanning out around the eviscerated but still living bodies of the subjects. The digestive tract of all four could be seen to be working, digesting food. It quickly became apparent that what they were digesting was their own flesh that they had ripped off and eaten over the course of days.

Most of the soldiers were Russian special operatives at the facility, but still many refused to return to the chamber to remove the test subjects. They continued to scream to be left in the chamber and alternately begged and demanded that the gas be turned back on, lest they fall asleep...

To everyone's surprise the test subjects put up a fierce fight in the process of being removed from the chamber. One of the Russian soldiers died from having his throat ripped out, another was gravely injured by having his testicles ripped off and an artery in his leg severed by one of the subject's teeth. Another 5 of the soldiers lost their lives if you count ones that committed suicide in the weeks following the incident.

In the struggle one of the four living subjects had his spleen ruptured and he bled out almost immediately. The medical researchers attempted to sedate him but this proved impossible. He was injected with more than ten times the human dose of a morphine derivative and still fought like a cornered animal, breaking the ribs and arm of one doctor. When heart was seen to beat for a full two minutes after he had bled out to the point there was more air in his vascular system than blood. Even after it stopped he continued to scream and flail for another 3 minutes, struggling to attack anyone in reach and just repeating the word "MORE" over and over, weaker and weaker, until he finally fell silent.

The surviving three test subjects were heavily restrained and moved to a medical facility, the two with intact vocal cords continuously begging for the gas demanding to be kept awake...

The most injured of the three was taken to the only surgical operating room that the facility had. In the process of preparing the subject to have his organs placed back within his body it was found that he was effectively immune to the sedative they had given him to prepare him for the surgery. He fought furiously against his restraints when the anesthetic gas was brought out to put him under. He managed to tear most of the way through a 4 inch wide leather strap on one wrist, even through the weight of a 200 pound soldier holding that wrist as well. It took only a little more anesthetic than normal to put him under, and the instant his eyelids fluttered and closed, his heart stopped. In the autopsy of the test subject that died on the operating table it was found that his blood had triple the normal level of oxygen. His muscles that were still attached to his skeleton were badly torn and he had broken 9 bones in his struggle to not be subdued. Most of them were from the force his own muscles had exerted on them.

The second survivor had been the first of the group of five to start screaming. His vocal cords destroyed he was unable to beg or object to surgery, and he only reacted by shaking his head violently in disapproval when the anesthetic gas was brought near him. He shook his head yes when someone suggested, reluctantly, they try the surgery without anesthetic, and did not react for the entire 6 hour procedure of replacing his abdominal organs and attempting to cover them with what remained of his skin. The surgeon presiding stated repeatedly that it should be medically possible for the patient to still be alive. One terrified nurse assisting the surgery stated that she had seen the patients mouth curl into a smile several times, whenever his eyes met hers.

When the surgery ended the subject looked at the surgeon and began to wheeze loudly, attempting to talk while struggling. Assuming this must be something of drastic importance the surgeon had a pen and pad fetched so the patient could write his message. It was simple. "Keep cutting."

The other two test subjects were given the same surgery, both without anesthetic as well. Although they had to be injected with a paralytic for the duration of the operation. The surgeon found it impossible to perform the operation while the patients laughed continuously. Once paralyzed the subjects could only follow the attending researchers with their eyes. The paralytic cleared their system in an abnormally short period of time and they were soon trying to escape their bonds. The moment they could speak they were again asking for the stimulant gas. The researchers tried asking why they had injured themselves, why they had ripped out their own guts and why they wanted to be given the gas again.

Only one response was given: "I must remain awake."

All three subject's restraints were reinforced and they were placed back into the chamber awaiting determination as to what should be done with them. The researchers, facing the wrath of their military 'benefactors' for having failed the stated goals of their project considered euthanizing the surviving subjects. The commanding officer, an ex-KGB instead saw potential, and wanted to see what would happen if they were put back on the gas. The researchers strongly objected, but were overruled.

In preparation for being sealed in the chamber again the subjects were connected to an EEG monitor and had their restraints padded for long term confinement. To everyone's surprise all three stopped struggling the moment it was let slip that they were going back on the gas. It was obvious that at this point all three were putting up a great struggle to stay awake. One of subjects that could speak was humming loudly and continuously; the mute subject was straining his legs against the leather bonds with all his might, first left, then right, then left again for something to focus on. The remaining subject was holding his head off his pillow and blinking rapidly. Having been the first to be wired for EEG most of the researchers were monitoring his brain waves in surprise. They were normal most of the time but sometimes flat lined inexplicably. It looked as if he were repeatedly suffering brain death, before returning to normal. As they focused on paper scrolling out of the brainwave monitor only one nurse saw his eyes slip shut at the same moment his head hit the pillow. His brainwaves immediately changed to that of deep sleep, then flatlined for the last time as his heart simultaneously stopped.

The only remaining subject that could speak started screaming to be sealed in now. His brainwaves showed the same flatlines as one who had just died from falling asleep. The commander gave the order to seal the chamber with both subjects inside, as well as 3 researchers. One of the named three immediately drew his gun and shot the commander point blank between the eyes, then turned the gun on the mute subject and blew his brains out as well.

He pointed his gun at the remaining subject, still restrained to a bed as the remaining members of the medical and research team fled the room. "I won't be locked in here with these things! Not with you!" he screamed at the man strapped to the table. "WHAT ARE YOU?" he demanded. "I must know!"

The subject smiled.

"Have you forgotten so easily?" The subject asked. "We are you. We are the madness that lurks within you all, begging to be free at every moment in your deepest animal mind. We are what you hide from in your beds every night. We are what you sedate into silence and paralysis when you go to the nocturnal haven where we cannot tread."

The researcher paused. Then aimed at the subject's heart and fired. The EEG flatlined as the subject weakly choked out, "So... nearly... free..."

:banghead:
 
These really bug me also, but I have to resist the urge to always be the douche that calls it lol

The ones I hate the most are the links that are a year or more old that (seemingly) every other person on planet earth knows is fake, or that have comments attached that clearly call it fake.

But even then, there's a reason why these hoaxes got exposed in the first place: because at their core they are fundamentally ridiculous claims that as soon as most rationally thinking people read them, warning bells go off and they feel compelled to investigate.

For this reason alone I concur that it's a real head-scratcher when people i regard as otherwise dialled-in repost this stuff. It's like..REALLY? Lol
 
I hate people on Facebook that start their posts with "Dear _____"

Sent from my Nexus 5 using U2 Interference mobile app
 
I did see a pretty unbelievable video of a beautiful woman trying get her ass into a pair of jeans the other day, but I think that was real.
 
Today a few friends posted a story from the Daily Currant that said 38 people in Colorado have ODed from marijuana since New Years. Their friends had to tell them repeatedly that the Daily Currant is a satire.

So, cobl04, when you say we can post stupid things posted on social media by idiots, does that include silly women making that damn duck face?
 
This isn't really a thing that people post on social media, but a thing that people do online, in emails or FB comments, or maybe even in real life.

People who use lol as if it were punctuation.

I went to the bank today lol.
 
the latest fake quotes seem to be quotes attributed to authors that they clearly didn't say. i guess these yahoos feel like it seems better to say these quotes are by shakespeare or something instead of freaking anonymous or something. people on facebook, twitter, etc. will still share them because they're sooo insightful.

another one is of course the old urban legend. it's kinda similar to what gvox said but what really gets me is when the person says they "looked it up and it's true" or something similar. no you didn't. if you did, there wouldn't be stories still going around the internet from decades past.
 
I don't mind the fake quotes attributed to famous people when it's obviously a joke. Like this for example

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I've seen heaps of funny ones like that attributed to MLK, Albert Einstein, etc. It's the ones you speak about, "insightful", "inspirational", "meaningful" quotes attributed to famous figures that are fake, that piss me off.
 
"Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul."

-Bono
 
I've seen heaps of funny ones like that attributed to MLK, Albert Einstein, etc. It's the ones you speak about, "insightful", "inspirational", "meaningful" quotes attributed to famous figures that are fake, that piss me off.
oh yeah, i don't mean the obvious joke ones, but rather ones in the vein of the fake marilyn monroe quotes, where the person posting it seems to think the historical figure said it. sometimes i wonder if the person even knows who the hell these people are and just share the quote because it sounds deep and meaningful.
 
Anyone who has ever tweeted, Facebook status'd, or instagramed meal should be stabbed with the utensil they then used to eat it.
 
Anyone who has ever tweeted, Facebook status'd, or instagramed meal should be stabbed with the utensil they then used to eat it.

I recall Dairy Queen ads asking people to tweet pictures of their $5 value meal or whatever. I can't for the life of me imagine a scenario in which someone would actually do that. Much like Hulu giving you the option to tweet the ads they show.
 
I think I know what that is without having to click it... I wonder how many people have shared that through their phone (and then not put it down at all).

I had to educate one of my FB friends recently, who posted a probably-ancient screen shot of fake numbers claiming to represent government benefits received by pensioners vs. "illegal immigrants and refugees". I provided links debunking the bogus figures (fortunately this gave me time to calm down sufficiently to avoid violence), and we exchanged a few comments. Five minutes later one of his other friends commented in righteous outrage "if this is true". I had to comment again just to point him at the links I'd already posted. :banghead:

Conclusion: a depressing percentage of the human race would rather believe something that makes them angry than spend 10 seconds googling or even thinking.
 
Ohhh I've seen at least 15 people post those figures. I always comment on them. Should I just leave it? Probably. But if stops one idiot from getting sucked it, good. It infuriates me.
 
You know what really grinds my gears?

When people post Amber Alert pictures, but without checking the information first. Majority of the time the person has long since been found.

But, people's hearts are in the right place, obviously, so I don't complain too much about it.
 
Ohhh I've seen at least 15 people post those figures. I always comment on them. Should I just leave it? Probably. But if stops one idiot from getting sucked it, good. It infuriates me.

I had to respond to it not just because it was grossly offensive to me, but mostly because it was plain, factually WRONG. I can bite my tongue if it's just someone's opinion that annoys me, but I don't think anyone should let blatant lies that are designed to fuel bigotry go unchallenged.
 
I had to respond to it not just because it was grossly offensive to me, but mostly because it was plain, factually WRONG. I can bite my tongue if it's just someone's opinion that annoys me, but I don't think anyone should let blatant lies that are designed to fuel bigotry go unchallenged.


Yep, I can't believe anyone could be stupid enough to think there is such a thing as "annual hardship allowance".
 
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