Mrs. Garrison

[VintagePunk]

...is my favourite poster. Aside from the sentimentality of real life friendships I've made here...and even friendships that have not quite made it out of the online strata. When you're speaking of randoms that I have not exchanged three words with in the past decade (except maybe in the cat thread? we may have talked in there a time or two...it's been a long time, and my cat recollections are foggy), Mrs. Garrison is it for me.

Anyway, yeah. Mrs. Garrison never ceases to amuse or amaze.

But let's be clear here - this is not a creepy thing, If Mrs. Garrison, for instance, broke multiple bones in a cycling misadventure, I would not be holding any candlelight vigils or anything. I'd just shed a silent tear, and then go about my business.

Whatever. I love you, Mrs. Garrison. You're the best.

 

[Kieran McConville]

I just visited Mrs Garrison after his latest fender bender, and he said some beautiful things.

He's going to be All Right.

 

[VintagePunk]

S/he Moves In Mysterious Ways.

 

[YBORCITY]

Mrs. G rocks my world... not in a creepy way.

 

[VintagePunk]

Mrs. G rocks my world... not in a creepy way.

Copycat.

 

[Kieran McConville]

My feelings regarding Mrs Garrison are extremely creepy.


Extremely creepy.

 

[VintagePunk]

This is the thread to explore it all. We're listening.

 

[VintagePunk]

I actually have a psych degree. Maybe this can be a place of healing, too. For those who were traumatized by Mrs. Garrison. If we're successful by the end of the thread, you can pay me 8,000 dollars.

I've expanded the original scope of the thread. Positive or negative attention is fine.

 

[VintagePunk]

Personally, I'm a fan. But I can't speak for everyone. Others might have had different experiences. So, just tell all, here.

 

[Kieran McConville]

My feelings toward Mrs Garrison involve a fuel hose.

 

[PhilsFan]

Mrs. Garrison is my favorite writer and I want him to ghost write my riveting autobiography.

 

[VintagePunk]

It seems that some revelations might come out here. Like, what started as a "way to go dude, you're funny!" thread might end up being something darker. I'll go to wherever this takes me.

 

[VintagePunk]

Mrs. Garrison is my favorite writer and I want him to ghost write my riveting autobiography.

Superficially, yeah, that's what I've thought for years. But now I'm wondering what sort of hornet's nest I stumbled onto, here.

BZZZZZZZZ.

 

[Kieran McConville]

One time Mrs Garrison buried me up to my neck at the beach as a 'prank'. Then he painted my face with honey and planted a bee nest nearby.

 

[gvox]

Once, when I was young, naive and..much less sophisticated..I made the fatal error of obsessing after Mrs.[i/] Garrison, wildly imagining that 'she' would leave her husband and we'd run away together. Of course in typical fashion I was the last one in the know and to my chagrin I discovered that things weren't as they seemed on the surface. My foolish, foolish heart was broken and I've not been the same since.


Sent from my ass crack

 

[VintagePunk]

Gabe. not sure what to say, other than we're tracking this information. You might want to seek individual therapy, but do keep copious records just in case. Best of luck.

 

[gvox]

Track all you want I paid for my sub with bitcoins you'll never find me!




Sent from my ass crack

 

[VintagePunk]

If that's the way you're playing it, I'm sure that's what he/she wants. Whatever.

I'm a busy person. Don't have time for indecisive shit. Either you want to report, or not.

 

[VintagePunk]

Do still love you though, Mrs. Garrison. Past indiscretions aside. i hope it's in the past.

 

[gvox]

I'm a little paranoid of Internet Relationships now


Sent from my ass crack

 

[VintagePunk]

Seriously, what started out as a positive, affirming thing has turned into something more sinister. If you have any stories to share, please do. I'll take a look at them tomorrow, and decide next steps.

 

[VintagePunk]

I'm a little paranoid of Internet Relationships now


Sent from my ass crack

Just as I was about to hit on you. And your ass crack. Serendipitous, really!

 

[gvox]

Just as I was about to hit on you. And your ass crack. Serendipitous, really!

You, I trust. Sorta.


Sent from my ass crack

 

[VintagePunk]

You, I trust. Sorta.


Sent from my ass crack

Be careful. I don't trust me.



i think the point here is though...Mrs. Garrison.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Mrs Garrison is the trinity killer. Not that trinity killer, I know what you're thinking. No, he is a serial killer who targets people who profess the incorrect theological doctrine of the nature of Christ, God and Spirit.

 

[VintagePunk]

Mrs. Garrison = enigma

I hope to get to the bottom of all this.

 

[VintagePunk]

Mrs Garrison is the trinity killer. Not that trinity killer, I know what you're thinking. No, he is a serial killer who targets people who profess the incorrect theological doctrine of the nature of Christ, God and Spirit.

If anything, I'd hoped his plot would be better than Dexter's. Because seriously - who could be worse than Dexter

 

[Kieran McConville]

Remember that time when Dexter killed a guy in his cell with a pen and Angel and Masuka were too fucking stupid to work it out?

 

[Kieran McConville]

Dexter to creepy psycho teen: "we've got to stop meeting in the carpark of Metro like this."

 

[YBORCITY]

Mrs. G = completes me.