Lance's Mom-inspired art: stick it in here

[lazarus]

The lyrics for that whole song are practically begging to be 'cockified,

 

[Reggo]

Labialcrud. Laz, you've outdone yourself this time.

 

[Dalton]

Labialcrud. Laz, you've outdone yourself this time.

I vomit in my mouth every time I read that.

 

[lazarus]

Is it too late to change the album title to The Queen of Rims?

 

[Reggo]

Impressive.

 

[lazarus]

 

[Canadiens1131]

 

[Reggo]

 

[LemonMelon]

Nobody cares about a dead hooker
Looking like one
Standing for many

 

[lazarus]

OMG

New Update from Lance's Mom | Facebook

 

[Imperor]

Also, she appears to have "anally paid the plane into" South Africa:

lance's mom's place | Facebook

 

[lazarus]

Dude, if those guys saw this thread, they would totally lose their shit.

It's unreal.

Also, I can't believe you remembered that Beatoffs lyric.

 

[cobl04]

Ass Bunion is still my jam, but wow JT knocked it out of the park with Happiness is a Warm Cunt.

 

[bono_212]

Wait...are you telling me that somewhere in South Africa there is an almost identical Lance's Mom joke going on..and it has nothing to do with any of you?

*universe collapsing*

 

[Reggo]

Wait...are you telling me that somewhere in South Africa there is an almost identical Lance's Mom joke going on..and it has nothing to do with any of you?

*universe collapsing*

 

[Jive Turkey]

Ass Bunion is still my jam, but wow JT knocked it out of the park with Happiness is a Warm Cunt.

Thanks Friggin Cobbler, though I believe it was Happiness is a Worn Gunt

 

[lazarus]

PENILE JAM -- BI-ANAL

1. Breakerbed
2. Crotch Lice
3. Ejaculation
4. White Tears
5. Huffing As He Reams
6. Chin Hair
7. QuimStink In My Face
8. In The Girl
9. Greyvag
10. Viral
11. Sire of Lance
12. Poon For Rent
13. Parting Cheeks

 

[lazarus]

Perhaps the inspiration for the above album?

SLIMIN' & MOOSE KNUCKLE -- VAG OVER DOUBLE ANAL

1. Vag Over Double Anal
2. La Puta Pasa
3. Cesarean
4. Keep The Customer Satisfied (no 'cockification necessary)
5. So Long, John on Right

6. The Boner
7. Baby Maker
8. The Only Living Whore In New York
9. Why Don't You Bite Me
10. Stye Pie Love
11. Dong For The Assing


The title track is just crying for a full lyric. Stay tuned.

 

[Imperor]

Good timing. I just bought a reissue of Rearends.

 

[Reggo]

Did you ever end up writing 50 Ways To Lube Your Lover?

 

[lazarus]

Good timing. I just bought a reissue of Rearends.

That has the chilling account of Lance's Mom's (unsuccessful) trip the the abortionist, Stop The Life Of My Child.

 

[Reggo]

I just read this entire thread. Why in the name of God did I do this?

Oh, right.

The Beatoffs, Mother's Neutered Son

Born, but near-aborted, boy
Mother's neutered son
All day long
My mother rides the schlongs
Of everyone

Sit outside her bedroom door
See the johns arrive
Listen to the moaning as they ram her
For a buck-five

Doo-doo doo doo doo doo
Doo-oo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo
Doo-oo doo doo doo
Ndoo doo-doo

Find her smoking up some grass
Mother's neutered son
Swaying dazedly as she beckons in
The next one

Doo-doo doo doo doo doo
Doo-oo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo
Doo-oo doo doo doo
Doo doo-doo doo-oo doo-doo
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Mm mm mm
Mmm mm
Mmm mm mm

Mm, mother's neutered son

 

[Imperor]

That brought a tear to mine eye. Bravo.

 

[Jive Turkey]

God Bless you, Reggo

 

[lazarus]

Poor Lance.

 

[lazarus]

I've never even heard one of the band's albums (I know, for shame), so I feel I'm not the proper person to make a full tracklist:


VD ON THE LABIA -- REAR SCIENCE


Have at it.

 

[cobl04]

I'd like to see you attack some Flaming Lips, laz. I'm interested to see how much you'd have to change. The band name's perfect as is, as are song titles like "Labia in the Sunlight".

 

[Imperor]

VD ON THE LABIA

HOLY. SHlT.

 

[lazarus]

Return To Nookie Mountin'?

 

[lazarus]

And their newest efffort:


Nine Stripes of White