Lance's Mom-inspired art: stick it in here

[Reggo]

I am only posting in here because I feel my avatar is relevant to the thread.

That is all.

 

[lazarus]

VWilcock presents:

YANK'EM COCKDROP WHORETEL

1. I Am Trying to Break Your Hole
2. (Hidden) Kamera
3. Dildo Cure
4. Whore on Whore
5. Jizz-ass, etc.
6. Rashes of American Slags
7. Pervy Men'll Bum 'er
8. I'm the Man Who Rubs You
9. Rot-Nettled Squack
10. Poor Places (To Fuck)
11. Off the Reservation (for Dalton)

 

[Imperor]

6 = the best.

 

[lazarus]

Personally I prefer #9, but that's a good one.

I had a hard time with a few of these, actually. Nowhere to go.

 

[lazarus]

This album to me is their true masterpiece of the 00's:

A GOATSE IS WORN

1. At Least That's What You Paid
2. Whore Is Chronic
3. Sliders (Cocksmoker)
4. Muzzle of Disease
5.
6. Fistshake Plugs
7.
8. Company In My Ass
9.
10.
11. (It Costs) Less Than You Think
12.

Help me fill in the blanks, people.

 

[lazarus]

1. At Least That's What You Paid

I'd like to change this to:

1. Fat Yeast-Filled Slut You Paid



Thank you.

 

[LMP]

9. I'm a Whore
10. Pack of Trojans
12. The Late Sprays

 

[Imperor]

5. Cumming Turd
7. Pissful Drinking

 

[Jive Turkey]

Your input is appreciated - Lance's Mom

Plastic Sheets

1. Orificetral Entry
2. Welcome to the Whore House with the Plastic Sheets
3. Quite Slag
4. Rim four Guys
5.
6. Slippyvag Smellyfish
7. Empire Crabs
8. Gutter Skeeze
9. Some Kind of Fissure
10. On Antiviral Pill
11. Broken In
12. Tubesteaks
13. Plastic Sheets
14. Two Minge
15. Proud of Ungrooming
15.

 

[lazarus]

I wish I knew what that's a parody of.

 

[Jive Turkey]

Plastic Beach

 

[Imperor]

6 and 12 were fantastic, and unfortunately the former will ruin the song for me forever. But at least I'm inspired:

Cockervil River - The Wage Dames

1. Her Life is Not a Porno or Maybe
2. Unless It's Dicks
3. A Hand to Take Hold of the Peen
4. Banana Aisles
5. Pus Runs
6. A Girl in Jorts
7. You Can't Ache the Gland of a Cock and Hole Man
8. Vital Whack
9. John Allyn Smith Nails


I really wanted to do Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix just because I thought "$19.01" would be really funny, but some of those tracks are tough to rename.

 

[lazarus]

Allow me:

Wang-gag Amyl-Nitrate Peen-Tricks

1. LickDickMania
2. $19.01
3. Fistin'
4. Love is Like A Cumshot Part I
5. Love is Like A Cumshot Part II
6. Tassles
7. (When In) Rome
8. Mount-brown
9. Girlfriend Experience
10. Arm Fits?

 

[lazarus]

Cockervil River - The Wage Dames

1. Her Life is Not a Porno or Maybe
3. A Hand to Take Hold of the Peen
4. Banana Aisles
5. Pus Runs
7. You Can't Ache the Gland of a Cock and Hole Man
8. Vital Whack

Well done.

The sequel ain't bad, either:

Cockervil River - The Hands In

1. Hand's In (One)
2. Glossed Throatlines
3. Hooker Homewrecker
4. Scarry Pairs
5. Blew Two Tricks
6. Hands In (Two)
7. Cheap Lay
8. On All Fours With Scumbo
9. Balling and Not Balling My Ass
10. Hands In (Three?!)
11. Don "Magic" Juan Bitchslappin' On The Roof of the Cheap Whoretel, 1979

 

[Imperor]

You took Wolfy in an entirely different direction that I would have.... with sexy results.

As for the spiritual successor to The Wage Dames, "Glossed Throatlines" just about sent me over the moon.

 

[PhilsFan]

Cocked Her - The National
1. Vag on Fire
2. In Need of More Hangers
3. Trainee
4. 'Nother Fist For Ya
5. Peen Gloves
6. Ho Show
7. Her Part's Been Whory
8. Fuck a Whore
9. Sex Room
10. Facing Like a Pro
11. Paid Up
12. Hostel

This feels like a weak effort.

 

[Jive Turkey]

This feels like a weak effort.

"Too fuckin' bad. No refunds" - Lance's mom

 

[lazarus]

You took Wolfy in an entirely different direction that I would have.... with sexy results.

Yeah, it was actually pretty tough. And I'd kind of like to make one change:

1. Blisteredlabia

 

[Imperor]

My original inclination was "Titsomania," so you certainly topped that.

Peefer, you were in a hole already considering I'm not the kind of guy who takes Boxer related jokes lightly.

 

[UberBeaver]

VWilcock presents:

YANK'EM COCKDROP WHORETEL

1. I Am Trying to Break Your Hole
2. (Hidden) Kamera
3. Dildo Cure
4. Whore on Whore
5. Jizz-ass, etc.
6. Rashes of American Slags
7. Pervy Men'll Bum 'er
8. I'm the Man Who Rubs You
9. Rot-Nettled Squack
10. Poor Places (To Fuck)
11. Off the Reservation (for Dalton)

I would change the title to YankMe SoWell Cumshot. I like the rest of it, especially using the word Squack, which I have never encountered before.

 

[lazarus]

Yeah, not only did I mix the last two words around, but I've thought of some alternates as well:

Spank'em Whoretel Crotchrot

 

[LMP]

Laz, it's your job to take every Lance's Mom joke and turn it into an erotic coffee table book.

Bring in the moniez.

 

[lazarus]

THE SPLASHING BLUMPKINS - ON MY KNEES REAM

1. Chub Sock
2. Thigh It
3. Jew Pay
4. ($5) Hummer
5. Socket
6. Disrobe
7. Bona'
8. Cock U.S.A.
9. Spray-on-ass
10. Lanceboy
11. SilverDollarFuck
12. Sweat Sweat
13. Tuna

 

[lazarus]

Since you all loved the above so much:

THE SPLASHING BLUMPKINS - SWOLLEN TESTES AND THE INFINITE CRAB EGGS

Disc One - Down to Fuck
1. Swollen Testes and the Infinite Crab Eggs
2. Two-for-one nite Tonite
3. Jizzybelly
4. Diniro
5. Here Is Mo' Thigh
6. Ballsack with Butterfly Wings
7. To Whore, Live
8. Fuck Me (A Plea to Anyone)
9. Glove
10. Cupid de Cocke
11. Gagonpenis
12. Muzzle (and Blindfold)
13. Whorelina of the Vast Orifice
14. Me Go Down

Disc Two - Two Fists to Starfish
1. Where Boys Pay to Tread
2. Bodice
3. Thirty-three (in one night)
4. Into the Arse He Seeps
5. 18 to 79
6. Tales of a Scorched Birthcanal
7. Between the Eyes They Spoo Me
8. Pimp-a-Vagine
9. X My V
10. They Only Pull Out At Night
11. Buttocks-full
12. Lance (My son, and lonely)
13. My Starfish
14. Tip well and Goodnight

 

[lazarus]

The lack of response here is disheartening. Especially after Billy Whorgan put in all that effort. He may shelve plans to release Penis Iscariot at this point.

Also, if I can bring it back to Shuttlecock for a moment, why did we go with I Will Return instead of I Will Swallow for Ball Boy?

Seems like a no-brainer in retrospect, though that first album was more badminton-heavy.

 

[Jive Turkey]

I should say that I enjoyed your last two entries immensely (particularly the band name). I think, for me, the non response was more because I went immediately into spoof writing mode. You are an inspiration

 

[Jive Turkey]

This has been stuck in my head since I made my last post I figured I'd burden you guys with it too

YouTube - Chicago You're The Inspiration.wmv

 

[No spoken words]

For me, I tend to not reply in here too often because I graduated Kindergarten.

Then again I did start this thread.

 

[lazarus]

VWILCOCK -- PEEN IN HERE

Disc One
1. Miss Thunderwood
2. Scar, Scar Away
3. Son: Gay
4. Outtaslit (Outta Mind)
5. Whore Get No Flowers
6. Red-Assed and Blew
7. I Fuck You (At the End of the Hallway)
8. Half the World's Got My Sores
9. Whoretel Daytona
10. Say You'll Fist Me

Disc Two
1. Spunkin' Treasure
2. Some Gray Poon
3. Outta Hind (Outta Sight)
4. Someone Else's Dong
5. Kingpimp
6. (Watch Me) Sip Your Reams
7. Why Would You Wanna Tip?
8. The Homely 1
9. Creamer In My Jeans

 

[Imperor]

Alright, there's a lot of gold in that one. And I'm flattered you used "Creamer in my Jeans."