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Old 09-19-2009, 12:10 AM   #136
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Originally Posted by impy13 View Post
It's at the top of the page. By mistake I forgot to....ahem.... stick it in the medley.
AH, I see it now. I didn't realize at the time what it was. Makes much more sense now.

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There's something to be said for them seeming a little more off the cuff than Laz and my fare. Visceral. Raw.
Headache's works are like Bad Brains doing the Beatles while doing Lance's mom. That's how they sound to me.
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Old 09-19-2009, 12:41 AM   #137
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Headache's works are like Bad Brains doing the Beatles while doing Lance's mom. That's how they sound to me.
This cracked me up.
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Old 09-19-2009, 09:47 AM   #138
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i'm touched. by lance's mom.
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Old 09-19-2009, 12:31 PM   #139
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she told me she'd take it and then she started to gag
i told her she couldn't, turned her over, and covered her head with a bag
The introduction of the snuff angle is one that could be ushering in a whole new era of Lance's Mom-goodness. I mean, everyone loves a dead hooker joke.
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Old 09-19-2009, 02:09 PM   #140
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Originally Posted by impy13 View Post

Peen blister custard seeps in the dark
Leaves such a mark, feels like sandpaper
Leaks from a hole in the bone
Dripping down your personal zone
Hurts like a big kidney stone
Such a mean old gland
Such a mean old gland

Words cannot describe how perfect this verse is. Take a gold star, Impy
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Old 09-19-2009, 09:41 PM   #141
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I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I was the one who came up with the actual title.


Yes, I'm petty.
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Old 09-20-2009, 01:16 AM   #142
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I doubt this is on par with everyone else's, but I was bored tonight...

Across The Waterbed

Germs are flowing out like
Endless rain across this hooker's sheets
They slither while they pass
They slip my way across the waterbed
Pools of VD, waves of spores
Are drifting through my opened fly
Infecting and condemning me

I just fucked Lance's mom
Nothing's gonna heal this sore
Nothing's gonna heal this sore
Nothing's gonna heal this sore
Nothing's gonna heal this sore

At the strip club, Lance's mom
Who dances with my head between her thighs
She called me on and on into her waterbed
Fingers wander like a virgin as I'm eating out her box
They fumble blindly as
They make their way across the waterbed

I just fucked Lance's mom
Nothing's gonna heal this sore
Nothing's gonna heal this sore
Nothing's gonna heal this sore
Nothing's gonna heal this sore

Sounds of laughter at my cock
are ringing through my open ears
"I'm sorry, but it is so tiny!"
Luckily, it's Lance's mom
And size don't matter when you're just a john
I threw 300 quid onto the waterbed

I just fucked Lance's mom
Nothing's gonna heal this sore
Nothing's gonna heal this sore
Nothing's gonna heal this sore
Nothing's gonna heal this sore
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Old 09-20-2009, 01:19 AM   #143
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Really dig that first verse, Reg. Funny stuff.

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Originally Posted by Jive Turkey View Post
Words cannot describe how perfect this verse is. Take a gold star, Impy
Thanks. It's one of my finer verses, even including the Shuttlecock tunes I've written. The first verse was mine. The second was Laz's. But I consider the entire medley a collaboration with him, hence the copyright thing at the end.

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I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I was the one who came up with the actual title.


Yes, I'm petty.
And a fine creation it was. Some of your pieces in the medley are fantastic, but again, I'm happy to have it listed as a collaborative effort.

[QUOTE=Reggo;6397254]I doubt this is on par with everyone else's, but I was bored tonight...
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Old 09-20-2009, 12:17 PM   #144
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Nice work, Reggo. Glad to have another scribe on the staff, so to speak.
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Old 09-20-2009, 01:08 PM   #145
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggo View Post
Sounds of laughter at my cock
are ringing through my open ears
"I'm sorry, but it is so tiny!"
Luckily, it's Lance's mom
And size don't matter when you're just a john
I threw 300 quid onto the waterbed
[/I]
This is good stuff.
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Old 09-20-2009, 01:14 PM   #146
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Reggo
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Old 09-20-2009, 01:20 PM   #147
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How many Lance's Moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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Old 09-20-2009, 02:51 PM   #148
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A: You're gonna need a bigger bulb.
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Old 09-21-2009, 10:12 PM   #149
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Alright, so I havent added much to this conversation apart from 'hahaha thats funny' so its about time I earn my keep. This is my first contribution, so please be kind. Also, I apologize to Lance in advance because I've never met him or his whore of a mother

Happiness is a Worn Gunt

Shes not a whore who kisses much
Do do do do do do, oh ya
He's well acquainted with the touch of her vulva's hair
like a tarantula on a wrinkled prune

The woman in the bed with the multicoloured tassels
on her hog-like boobs
hangin' to her thighs while her hands are busy workin' on the taint
A sperm excretion from his wang which she ate
then proceeded with her natural thrust

I need Valtrex 'cause she going down
Down to my pants that I left undone
I need Valtrex 'cause shes going down

Mother's posterior chugs the cum
Mother's posterior chugs the cum
Mother's posterior chugs the cum
Mother's posterior chugs the cum

Happiness is a worn gunt
(bang bang, skeet skeet)
Happiness is a worn gunt, momma
(bang bang, skeet skeet)

When I hold you in my arms
And I feel your finger on my shitter
I fear your diggin' could do me much harm

Because
Happiness is a worn gunt
(bang bang, skeet skeet)
Happiness is a worn gunt
(bang bang, skeet skeet)
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Old 09-21-2009, 11:37 PM   #150
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He's well acquainted with the touch of her vulva's hair
like a tarantula on a wrinkled prune


This is Hall of Fame shit right here. The whole song is win, really. When I first saw the title I was like "damn, I wanted to write that one", but no way I could have topped this.

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