i had an exceptionally violent dream about alan jamison, guys.

[Zoomerang96]

the fact that i had a dream about alan jamison isn't much of a surprise. you see, guys, alan jamison is in my thoughts all the time. it's become a bit of an obsession, to be completely honest. and since everyone's being honest nowadays, guys, i might as well also mention that my thoughts are usually filled with unbridled rage when i think about alan jamison. and considering i'm always thinking about alan jamison, that would mean i'm a pretty angry guy, guys.

all my friends (i don't really have friends) are always asking me "why are you muttering non-sensical threats towards this 'alan jamison'?"
they're always asking me that, guys.

i always say the same thing... "super,GUYS me, guys."

ok

OK

OOO

KAAAAAAAAYYYYY

i realise this has gone on long enough
it's just that

AUCH

the rooster's running round this house, and whether it's because i chopped it off four hours ago or he hasn't figured out how to put it back on, i don't know, but he hasn't been seen with his head since.

am i the only one who has blurry, shadowy children who appear in his flat in the middle of the night? they're always just standing there, and never on the floor... usually a good two or three inches over. if i didn't have such a good sense of humour about it all, i'd admit that i'd probably get more than a little scared.

especially ever since they started flinging animal sacrifices at me as i cowar under my blankets waiting for them to go away.

i'll tell you, four hours of this might not seem like a long time to any of you who've never gone through this, but i can promise that those four hours would be much better spent sleeping. golly.

as if that wasn't bad enough, guys, there's all these people who keep running after me on the streets. every day it's the same thing... their faces are all pale as snow, and it would appear as though they've been eating plenty of raw meat. lots of red juice, perhaps even blood has stained the areas surrounding their mouths. i couldn't help but notice the folks deep red eyes too. can't honestly say i've noticed an eye colour like that before, but hey, things are different in germany.

anyhoo where was i

alan jamison. that son of a bitch. as if i didn't have enough going on, you have to constantly be running through my mind. ridiculous. completely ridiculous.

i just can't

i jsut a't

i can't write anymoe

eaihr EARS PLUGGED FULL STOP PULL THE PLUG

 

[Kieran McConville]

 

[Zoomerang96]

you said there were SIX?
i can only find two.

 

[Zoomerang96]

wait hold on...

those people running in that picture at the top of that screen shot... THOSE are the same people on the streets here where i live! you have them there too?

 

[Kieran McConville]

Yeah, at least six. Maybe twenty, even. All you gotta do is look closely.

Yeah, we have people here too! Everyone's running after you nowadays, guys.

 

[Zoomerang96]

there is simply no way. help me.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Ok, I was sort of kidding. There are exactly five. Two of them are pictures and three of them are text.

 

[Alan Jamison]

Em, do you eat loads of choccie, Zoomerang?

I eat loads of choccie.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

loose lips sink ships
loose hips pink drips

lets swill a little bit in the morning,
let us swill a little drink in the day
tell your partner you wont be home till after supper
tell your momma not to worry cause yer gay

I've been
singing to myself for a couple of years
now
Been drinking with my self for since the sun came up and over the hills
She left me once three times for business class
a way up high

if JFK had wings he'd be up in the sky
instead he's just a piece of land
for people going bye bye bye

the kiss of death is all she wrote me
when she tore me open again
as i lay here bleeding out
i cant help watching her lips that form a mouth
a kiss is but a kiss
but a kiss is still a kiss

 

[mad1]

dont worry, Alan Jamieson is like Marmite, you either love him or hate him, or intend to spread him around to ensure worldwide discolouration.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Alan Jamison is like someone who should have turned up for band practise this week, but alas, has not. Oh wait, not likethat, he is that person.

It's not my fault that the band practise takes place at an undisclosed location (possibly Alan Jamison's own subconscious, possibly a deleted scene from Casino).

 

[mad1]

its also not his fault you broke his trombone in two with your little finger in one take.

I hear he is so scared of you, he refused to get his trumpet out and polish it now, case he sees your mad bake arrive behind him holding a plastic knife.

I love Alan thou, I wanna marry him.

 

[Zoomerang96]

i have a vision!

 

[mad1]

good.

please share it or else Miss Gibbons will come back and put you in the Hell Room.

 

[Zoomerang96]

i'm not wearing clothes.

 

[phillyfan26]

When you're as culturally and politically relevant as Alan Jamison, sometimes you just have to miss that band practice. Sometimes you just have to say, "Hey, Kieran, fuck off, I got shit to do, you heard?" And that's what he did. BOOM!

 

[Kieran McConville]

On the whole, I'd have to say that was a poor decision on Alan's part.

Now the pain begins.

 

[mad1]

I wish Alan was here, I miss staring into his ear.

 

[Alan Jamison]

good.

please share it or else Miss Gibbons will come back and put you in the Hell Room.

 

[Alan Jamison]

Kieran, I thought we were meetin' half six for band practise?

 

[phillyfan26]

Did Kieran look behind himself last time? Maybe that's where Alan was. Or above him. You never know? You don't.