Funny and/or Embarrassing Things You've Said

[Dalton]

Also on that trip, I was staying in a village in Mozambique. The staple food in the Mozambican is a ground up maize product called (phonetically) seema. Seema looks like mashed potatoes, but is typically eaten by hand. You roll it into a ball and then dip it in your beans. It also tastes like shit.

After several days of eating this, I decided I needed a break. As I headed back to my tent to eat some of food from my bag I called out to my traveling companions, "I can't eat another huge bowl of seamen."

Nice. I'll never live that one down.

 

[BonosLil'Pal94]

 

[Lila64]

 

[Bonogirl777]

That sucks!!

 

[floweravalanche]

I was having a discussion with my Dad about Rhond Island so I went to google pictures of it and all I could find pictures of was "cocks" so I yelled DAD I KEEP FINDING PICTURES OF COCKS! and my Dad goes WTH you looking up? Porn?

This is what I kept finding by the way, but how I said it just made it all worst for me

 

[floweravalanche]

oh I got another my Dad just reminded me of. When I was a kid I had a hard time pronouncing things and still kind of do, well during a school play I was dressed as a pirate and I was suppose to say we're on a pirate ship argh! instead I said we're on a pile of shit! -arms up in the air and all- My Dad said everyone went quiet and he just backed away slowly to the snack area

Oh one of my aunties told when she had the same problem and couldn't pronouce truck it came out as fuck. So she once said my Daddy drive a big red fuck.

In first grade I was trying to say I love the number six instead of saying I love six I said I love sex

 

[love_u2_adam]

Shit son where do i start.....


"So the break is on the left right?"

"Click click click (sound like a horse) I'm a horse"

"When i smoke this i breath in right" ~ me trying to smoke a hookah

My boyfriends brother would probably have a lotttttt more... he's an English major and as seen by my spelling my English isn't any better..... I'm lucky I'm blonde

 

[floweravalanche]

I had a good one today I was telling my Dad about this dream I had a about Bees then I went into school grades for B's so I go dont I want to get all B's and he goes Bees? Yeah you know the buzz buzz ones not the letter!. I had it backwords then gegoes oh so you're gonna get all buzz buzzs!

 

[Zoobaby14]

Shit son where do i start.....


"So the break is on the left right?"

I say things like this all the time. It reminds me of a saying in Australia "Yeah, nah"

When you think about it, it doesn't really make much sense

 

[cobl04]

Yeah nah is pretty common... it's better than umm.

Mate (new electrical apprentice) - work just bought me a drill!
Me - handheld?

also whenever i seem to quote family guy i always seem to kill the mood...

 

[theedgeu2]

Haha I just remembered this. This happened a few years back. I was on my way to a golf tournament with my golf instructor and one of the other golfers. We were talking about random stuff and I said "Yeah I'm in the mile high club" (I forgot exactly what brought that up ) Me and the other golfer did not know what that meant. I found out a bit later and have been super embarrassed about it. My golf teacher must have thought "What in the hell is that kid on?" And no I'm not in the mile high club.

 

[theedgeu2]

Anyone have that embarrasing moment when you're hungry enough to eat like a pig? Yeah well I did it about a month ago when we went out to eat with some good friends of my dad. I ordered a big juicy steak and I was starving like freaking crazy. I tore that thing apart. I am deeply embarassed about that whole situation. And apparantly my dad's friend's wife was looking at me odd. I usually don't do that so I don't know what possessed that, other than pure hunger.

 

[Mr. Green Eyes]

A friend told me, her boyfriend, and another friend that she wanted to dye her hair.....I told her "Don't do me." Needless to say they all stared at me for a few minutes.

 

[DeadMansParty]

Years ago, and my advice is, never guess on this EVER EVER EVER.

" So when is your baby due"?............

nuff said

 

[ryancoke71]

 

[BoMac]

Years ago, and my advice is, never guess on this EVER EVER EVER.

" So when is your baby due"?............

nuff said

And you survived?

 

[tommycharles]

A couple of years ago I was at the hot springs in Thermopolis, Wyoming, and after a very long hike to the top of a water slide, noticed a rather attractive girl, who was breathing heavily, she said "I'm so out of shape", and what I swear I was trying to say was "yeah, me too", but what escaped my lips was

"Yeah. I know."

 

[cobl04]

my sister was born on my birthday, eight years after i.

"but that doesn't make us twins"