Even Funnier Things From The Internet Thread

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After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 ft per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
 
There's not an awesome things from the internet thread, though.
 
Wouldn't that make more sense if he used the term for a dick before he wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (and often)? And if I use the term "kicked me right in the nutsack" it doesn't mean a can't refer to a bag of peanuts as a nutsack. I'm calling bullshit on this one. Sounds more like a cheeky way to tie his body of work together
 
Jive Turkey said:
Wouldn't that make more sense if he used the term for a dick before he wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (and often)? And if I use the term "kicked me right in the nutsack" it doesn't mean a can't refer to a bag of peanuts as a nutsack. I'm calling bullshit on this one. Sounds more like a cheeky way to tie his body of work together
Click to expand...

Hmm. Good point.
 
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