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Old 10-16-2008, 03:03 PM   #1
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Anyone willing to contribute...

to my new book...??
I have spoke with Justin (Screwtape), and got his permission and blessing to go forward with a new book based on his blog entries;
"What I would do if I had a Girlfriend".
I am also accepting WWIDIIHA BOYFRIEND entries.
The book will have 2 covers, one on each side of the book, with GF featured on one side, and BF on the other.

The idea came to me a few days back to make it into an actual published book,
and I would like to have a serious thread dedicated to this so that I may use them.
I will also interviewing people in my city and surrounding cities for their input, people of all ages and backgrounds.

Please keep in mind, that if I do decide to use your comments in the book, there would be no monetary compensation, but with your permission, I would use names or initials.
Every one wanting to remain anonymous shall be.
I dont care if you are single, attached, married, gay, straight or republican, I want to hear from you.
If you know of anyone who has a story, please share it.

I would like to keep this a CLEAN and serious thread.
I know some of you just won't be able to help yourselves though.


I have a ready for publishing date set for March 2009.

So please, feel free to post or even repost what you wrote in the original blog.

Thank you all in advance.
Soon, you may have your words in print.
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:56 PM   #2
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No replies? Wow. Dream Out Loud is a bustling metropolis...maybe you should have posted the thread there.

Now, in my many years as the Lone Ranger of Love, I've filled out notebooks with my thoughts and musings on the subject. I've brooded, contemplated, and analyzed the many possibilities that could arise from fellow human contact. In my journey to create the ultimate list of things I would do if I could, in fact, get a girlfriend (this is what I have dedicated my entire life to up until this very point), I have surely missed out on numerous opportunities to actually get a girlfriend. Perhaps my priorities are out of whack, but I digress.

1. If I had a girlfriend I would...play it safe at first. Get to know her even better. She's so mysterious. We could see a movie, we could listen to music together (she likes Nickelback, but I'm sure it's just a phase). Actually, we could do anything together. But all I know is...we would never fight. How could we? Things are going great.

2. If I had a girlfriend I would...stop playing it safe. It's business time, because it's Wednesday, and I've got my business socks on. Of course, why would we only have sex on Wednesday? We'll always feel this way about each other, I'm sure.

3. If I had a girlfriend I would...caress her shapely body and think about how wonderful my life is at this very moment. How could I ever hurt when I'm holding her? Bono says it's simply not possible. That honey of the soul he's always talking about? It makes so much sense to me now. Oh, wait, she wants to go out shopping. I'll be back. PS: I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!

4. If I had a girlfriend I would...get a job. Because, fuck, she ain't no gold digger, but...Maybe I could work at Staples or something. I never actually thought this part out.

5. If I had a girlfriend I would...discuss the potential of marriage with her. I wouldn't really want to, and her parents filled my condoms with crazy glue, but that's fine. I love her in spite of all this bullshit.

6. If I had a girlfriend I would...never get to see her because she doesn't trust me to pick the right shade for her wedding veil. Her mom is COLOR BLIND. Worse yet, she stuck me with her father, who's the worst drunk I've ever seen. How can you drink that stuff? Thank God I'm still drunk on love.

7. If I had a girlfriend I would...go to the bar and avoid seeing her for as long as possible. She's bugging the shit out of me right now. My testosterone-laden buddies (and, yes, her father) would call me names for sleeping in the crawl space, and I would get progressively more pissed off.

8. If I had a girlfriend I would...drive recklessly and run over a cop. By the time my AA sponsor bails me out (her father jumped out and took off towards the state line), my hangover will be so bad that I will swear not to drink ever again, which I know is a damn lie.

9. If had a girlfriend I would...hear a bunch of shit about how late I am. Fuck this.

10. If I had a girlfriend I would...give her chloroform and walk out the door. Because, by this point, I'm sick of having a girlfriend. Enough is enough.

I hope that was helpful!
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Old 10-22-2008, 12:21 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LemonMelon View Post
No replies? Wow. Dream Out Loud is a bustling metropolis...maybe you should have posted the thread there.

Now, in my many years as the Lone Ranger of Love, I've filled out notebooks with my thoughts and musings on the subject. I've brooded, contemplated, and analyzed the many possibilities that could arise from fellow human contact. In my journey to create the ultimate list of things I would do if I could, in fact, get a girlfriend (this is what I have dedicated my entire life to up until this very point), I have surely missed out on numerous opportunities to actually get a girlfriend. Perhaps my priorities are out of whack, but I digress.

1. If I had a girlfriend I would...play it safe at first. Get to know her even better. She's so mysterious. We could see a movie, we could listen to music together (she likes Nickelback, but I'm sure it's just a phase). Actually, we could do anything together. But all I know is...we would never fight. How could we? Things are going great.

2. If I had a girlfriend I would...stop playing it safe. It's business time, because it's Wednesday, and I've got my business socks on. Of course, why would we only have sex on Wednesday? We'll always feel this way about each other, I'm sure.

3. If I had a girlfriend I would...caress her shapely body and think about how wonderful my life is at this very moment. How could I ever hurt when I'm holding her? Bono says it's simply not possible. That honey of the soul he's always talking about? It makes so much sense to me now. Oh, wait, she wants to go out shopping. I'll be back. PS: I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!

4. If I had a girlfriend I would...get a job. Because, fuck, she ain't no gold digger, but...Maybe I could work at Staples or something. I never actually thought this part out.

5. If I had a girlfriend I would...discuss the potential of marriage with her. I wouldn't really want to, and her parents filled my condoms with crazy glue, but that's fine. I love her in spite of all this bullshit.

6. If I had a girlfriend I would...never get to see her because she doesn't trust me to pick the right shade for her wedding veil. Her mom is COLOR BLIND. Worse yet, she stuck me with her father, who's the worst drunk I've ever seen. How can you drink that stuff? Thank God I'm still drunk on love.

7. If I had a girlfriend I would...go to the bar and avoid seeing her for as long as possible. She's bugging the shit out of me right now. My testosterone-laden buddies (and, yes, her father) would call me names for sleeping in the crawl space, and I would get progressively more pissed off.

8. If I had a girlfriend I would...drive recklessly and run over a cop. By the time my AA sponsor bails me out (her father jumped out and took off towards the state line), my hangover will be so bad that I will swear not to drink ever again, which I know is a damn lie.

9. If had a girlfriend I would...hear a bunch of shit about how late I am. Fuck this.

10. If I had a girlfriend I would...give her chloroform and walk out the door. Because, by this point, I'm sick of having a girlfriend. Enough is enough.

I hope that was helpful!

Dude, I don't have a girlfriend, but if I get one do you mind if I use some of your points here? I mean, I know it's just common sense and we should all be able to treat our girlfriends this way, but it would be nice for me to have something I can reference when the occasion calls for it.

I thank you in advance.
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Old 10-22-2008, 01:15 AM   #4
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I have a ready for publishing date set for March 2009.
I'm surprised by how easy you make it sound to get a book published. Is it really that easy? Do you have an in with a publishing company or something?
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Old 10-22-2008, 02:01 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BoMac View Post
Dude, I don't have a girlfriend, but if I get one do you mind if I use some of your points here? I mean, I know it's just common sense and we should all be able to treat our girlfriends this way, but it would be nice for me to have something I can reference when the occasion calls for it.

I thank you in advance.
Oh, definitely. I have no idea if it would actually work out that way, but it sounds reasonable enough to me. Women love it when you set your sights low, if you get my meaning.
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Old 10-22-2008, 03:16 AM   #6
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Oh I see what you did thar!
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Old 10-22-2008, 10:04 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlsAloudFan View Post
I'm surprised by how easy you make it sound to get a book published. Is it really that easy? Do you have an in with a publishing company or something?
I'm assuming she's self-publishing again?

From a Wiki on self-publishing, or Print-on-Demand publishing:

POD publishers generally do not screen submissions prior to publication, and many are web-based. They accept uploaded digital content as Microsoft Word documents, text files, or RTF files, as printing services for anyone who is willing to pay. Authors choose from a selection of packages, or design a unique printing package that meets their requirements. For an additional cost, a POD publisher may offer services such as book jacket design with professional art direction; content, line, and copy-editing; indexing; proofreading; and marketing and publicity. Some POD publishers offer publication as e-books in addition to hardcover and paperback. Some POD publishers will offer ISBN (International Standard Book Numbers) service, which allows a title to be searchable and listed for sale on websites. Many critics dismiss POD as another type of vanity press. One major difference is that POD publishers have a connection to retail outlets like Amazon and Books in Print that vanity presses generally do not.

It's quite easy. Anyone can do it. You simply find a self-publisher online (there are many out there) and sign up. You are essentially paying a company to print up whatever it is you want to see between two covers. There are no query letters, no agents, no hoping an editor likes your manuscript enough to accept it, no rejection letters - they will print whatever you pay them to print. It's up to you then to sell the copies. Self-publishing is actually an oft-discussed topic in the writing world. Some people love it and some people don't. Either way, it sure has generated a lot of interesting discussion. In the end, I suppose, it's up to each individual writer to decide what's right for them.

Night & Day has self-published before so she can probably tell you more about it.

Good luck with your new idea, Night & Day!
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Old 10-22-2008, 11:43 AM   #8
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Believe it or not, as long as I have been an Interferencer, there are still threads and 'areas' I just have not ventured to...
Although I have seen a thread for fan fiction, I have never gone there.

LemonMelon:

Thank you for your contribution, it wasn't exactly what I had in mind
but I may use it anyways...

GirlsAloud:
It is easy, like BeeGee mentioned I just self publish.
I choose to because I want it done fast, and waiting 6-12 months just to have my manuscript/poetry/story, etc read, is too long for me.

I pay for my book to be made, therefore I retain all rights and ownership to it.
I manage the media and sales too, (something I quite enjoy,)
and I have full authority to do what ever I want with it.
No one changes a thing, no one owns it but me.
I have full control of any illustrations, etc.

BeeGee:
Thank you for the Wiki input, and thank you very much for the well wishing.
Though I do have to say, even though it is true that there are "no agents, no hoping an editor likes your manuscript enough to accept it", that doesn't bother me.
I don't write to be accepted, I write for me.
And even if not one book sells, I am ok with that, because it makes me feel like nothing else when I hold the idea that became my story, that became my book in my hands.

And if it does, I am proud that it touches the person enough to have them purchase it.
The buyer most likely could care less whether I self published or not.

Thank you again all.
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Old 10-22-2008, 06:14 PM   #9
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Self publishing!

Sweet. I'm totally gonna do that. Thanks N&D and Beeg. You have saved my life.
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Old 10-22-2008, 07:04 PM   #10
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o0o0o exciting, I'd love to!
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Old 10-22-2008, 07:05 PM   #11
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Self publishing!

Sweet. I'm totally gonna do that. Thanks N&D and Beeg. You have saved my life.
No porn.
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Old 10-22-2008, 07:25 PM   #12
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If i had a boyfriend... i wouldn't try to look my best all the time or wear the clothing that i do because i'd know he loves me just the way i am.
If i had a boyfriend... i'd just take time to relax and not be so stressed because i'd have that person to talk to and tell all my secrets to.
If i had a boyfriend...i wouldn't be so broke
If i had a boyfriend... my weekends would always be filled and i'd never have to make plans, we'd go out to dinner and laugh in the candle light. Or go to the movies and i'd throw myself on him because i'd be so scared and all i want him to do is protect me.
If i had a boyfriend.... i'd have the hole in my soul filled with love and joy, it's true i can get that from my friends but they can only fill it so far. With my boyfriend he'd fill it all and more with passion and intimacy.
If i had a boyfriend... i would cry tears of happiness and not pain.
If i had a boyfriend... i would have someone to do my homework with and just relax and listen to music up in my room, maybe get a little something something lol
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:59 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by love_u2_adam View Post
If i had a boyfriend... i wouldn't try to look my best all the time or wear the clothing that i do because i'd know he loves me just the way i am.
If i had a boyfriend... i'd just take time to relax and not be so stressed because i'd have that person to talk to and tell all my secrets to.
If i had a boyfriend...i wouldn't be so broke
If i had a boyfriend... my weekends would always be filled and i'd never have to make plans, we'd go out to dinner and laugh in the candle light. Or go to the movies and i'd throw myself on him because i'd be so scared and all i want him to do is protect me.
If i had a boyfriend.... i'd have the hole in my soul filled with love and joy, it's true i can get that from my friends but they can only fill it so far. With my boyfriend he'd fill it all and more with passion and intimacy.
If i had a boyfriend... i would cry tears of happiness and not pain.
If i had a boyfriend... i would have someone to do my homework with and just relax and listen to music up in my room, maybe get a little something something lol


How long does this last for?
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Old 10-23-2008, 02:51 AM   #14
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