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Old 02-10-2011, 04:15 PM   #16
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i went to the gym once. but they didn't have a bar, i couldn't smoke, so i left.
Hahaa I was just about to type the same thing.
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Old 02-10-2011, 05:12 PM   #17
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I've been lifting weights consistently for nearly fifteen years now. If I can offer you any advice on how to gain muscle mass and tone, Cobbler, it is this: be consistent. I have known many people who work out furiously for a week or two, only to take a month or two off after that. Working out with weights and cardio a few times a week and eating well will definitely get results.

I can definitely relate to your stories about the Hercules pretender types at the gym. My personal favorite is the high-school hero who comes in with a sleeveless shirt that reveals some elaborate barbed wire or "tribal" tattoo on his arm. Unfortunately, he is scrawny as hell, so when he throws 200 pounds on the bench and starts working himself into a frenzy, the weight invariably drops right onto his chest. It's quite hilarious, really.
I'm trying to be consistent. I go three times a week, some days I have better sets than others. But my focus is really trying to put on weight, I'm not concerned with being ripped in the near future. And it's hard.

we have a bloke at our gym who perfectly fits that description! barbed wire and all!

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Do any of you who work out drink those power protein type drinks, or eat the bars?

fuk me, the health shop has so much of that!
I use protein powder. I found one that tastes nice, that was a bonus.

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I joined a gym about 18 months ago, shockingly as I swore I would never do actual, you know, exercise. However, after a certain age, dancing till 4.00 am in clubs just doesn't cut it ya know? Mix of cardio (mostly intervals on the bike or elliptical) and weights round. Thankfully we have a women's only room so I don't have to see/hear boofhead blokes grunting. Maybe dropping a 6kg dumbell on his foot might work, cobbler?

My gym is so low rent that the treadmill/bike room just has the one projector showing dvds on the wall, none of this individual screen on the treadmill bullshit. If I see the Sound Relief dvd one more time..... Though you should me go if they're showing Chartbusting 80s!
this bloke probably drops a 6kg weight on his foot for fun.

you'd love our gym, chartbusting 80s is nearly all they play. if i have to hear Tina Turner introduce Bryan Adams once more...
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Old 02-10-2011, 05:15 PM   #18
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the thing i'm struggling most with at the moment is cardio. last time i had a progress report i did a bike test, which apparently revealed that my heart rate is abnormally high (i think it had a bit to do with being nervous) so now i'm meant to do 10 minutes cardio on the bike at the end of every session. level 3, and for the first minute you pedal to 70 RPM. then, for the next nine minutes, you're meant to pedal as hard as you can for eight seconds, then back down to 70 for 12 seconds. and repeat that for nine minutes. it's so fucking hard!! i got to five minutes the other day, a record for me, and i had to sit down for five minutes after it before i could move my legs properly again.
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Old 02-10-2011, 07:09 PM   #19
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Christ, you'd love my trainer then! I have a fortnightly appt with a trainer, which keeps me going to the gym, otherwise I'd spend all day on the couch watching Welcome Back Kotter on Gem....

She had me doing on the bike: Level 3, 30 seconds at 70, then 30 seconds at 100, and repeat. FOR 30 FUCKING MINUTES.

Another time: On the bike, level 3, at 100 for 90 seconds. Then off the bike, gloves on and punching for 90 seconds. And repeat. I managed about 15 minutes. I pleaded, but then she had me starting again, for another 10 or so minutes before I collapsed. My face was so red you coulda used it as a traffic light.
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Old 02-10-2011, 07:11 PM   #20
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........

how! how can could you possibly do that! makes me feel so ashamed!
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Old 02-10-2011, 07:23 PM   #21
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Because she's a tyrant. And I'm paying her!!!!
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Old 02-10-2011, 08:09 PM   #22
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On the topic of Hercules-pretender types at the gym, I've been extremely fortunate to have found a YMCA nearby that caters to senior citizens. It has all the weights and machines that I need, but a minimal amount of testosterone. And none of the seniors use the free weights, so I almost never have to wait.
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Old 02-10-2011, 08:16 PM   #23
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Speaking of seniors, my gym is right next to a bingo joint, so not only is it impossible to get a park, but you always have to wade through a bunch of of them smoking right outside the door, despite the multitude of no smoking signs. Bit of cancer's always good right after a sesh.
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Old 02-10-2011, 10:48 PM   #24
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I have a treadmill at home, I use it 2 hours a day, 6 days a week.

I got to see someone fall off a treadmill when I was using a gym last month. It was right next to the treadmill I was using. I had to not look over so I wouldn't start laughing.
Thankfully my own treadmill is repaired now because that gym was full of gross people. 90% of them never wiped down the equipment when they were done. And it seemed like half the equipment never worked right.

Next time I need to use a gym I won't be going back to that one.
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Old 02-11-2011, 08:13 AM   #25
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Old 02-11-2011, 09:25 AM   #26
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On the topic of Hercules-pretender types at the gym, I've been extremely fortunate to have found a YMCA nearby that caters to senior citizens. It has all the weights and machines that I need, but a minimal amount of testosterone. And none of the seniors use the free weights, so I almost never have to wait.


Just last week I had the only two (for some dumb reason) 30 lb. free-weights as I was starting to do my calf lifts. This older woman (mid-60s?) walks up to me and stares and says, "Oh, you have them."

I was almost too WTF?! to exercise. She stood close and waiting for me to be finished. I did and walked over and asked if she wanted them, and she responded, "Just one of them." She had one 25 lb, too. I wanted to stay and watch what she was doing, but I try and stay on-task at the gym.

I wish I had an extra 5 minutes in my life to stand and wait for something at the gym to become available. You've got to love seniors.
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Old 02-11-2011, 12:04 PM   #27
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only take those things if you're committed to working out and actually know what you're doing, 'cause if you aren't/don't you could end up doing nothing more than putting on weight.

beefcake.. BEEFCAKE!!!
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Old 02-11-2011, 01:41 PM   #28
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Old 02-11-2011, 03:11 PM   #29
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COBL: From what I've learned, cardio should be kept pretty low for people trying to gain weight. The problem with most exercise advice is that it's specifically designed to burn calories/lose weight and/or tone down. So while that wisdom says work out every day run cardio etc, well to gain weight a person would actually have to run less, lift more and less often, and eat lots.

I fought that battle for a long time because I was always running or doing the skating machine thing for 15-20 min with each day's workout, which ended up being every day because I would stagger muscle groups every 2-3 days. Never gained a pound. Cut the cardio down to 1 or 2 times / week and concentrated on lifting and then eating lots...and gained probably 10-15 pounds in pretty short order, after 25 years of no weight gain period.

The other thing is proper rest between workouts. 2-3 days per muscle group, to allow them to rebuild/grow.
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Old 02-11-2011, 03:17 PM   #30
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