All of Zoomerang96's 'Stories' here

[Zoomerang96]

Housing costs and concerns

so i'm looking at a house to buy for me and my three children, and at least in my area i'm absolutely taken back by how expensive houses have become.

i don't have a great job, making roughly $120K per year (not net, that's BEFORE taxes) so i'm not expecting the moon and the stars here. but i can tell you this for free - $800,000 doesn't get you what it used to.

i've always prided myself in being able to live within my humble means, but surely i'm not along who's frustrated by how expensive everything is?

i don't want to live in a shithole, and i don't know of a city in this country where you can live in a house that isn't valued at at least $500K. certainly not in areas that have... how do i say this... crime. i don't want to live in a crime area.

... good job i don't live in eastern ukraine (or The Ukraine, as The Ukrainians prefer to call it) by CRIME EA, right?

anyway, what are you guys finding at the moment? is it possible to live in a tolerable abode without having to live in a dump/ghetto?

sometimes i wish U2 would write a song about people like us... life is tough in situations like this. i know we're way better off than people in like in mexico and south korea, but it doesn't mean we don't know what it's like to live in hardships of our own kind.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

So sorry for your situation. I would love to help, honestly I would, but I haven't the clue what one might expect at your price point. Years ago I might have, say on my starter home or maybe some of the fixers ive picked up along the way. But seriously, who wants to live in a squalor or a plywood box?

I know, this makes me some sort of elitist twat, perhaps. I know.

Maybe I could have my people call your people. Well actually, you don't even fucking have any people, do you? Do me? Do who? Fuck.

You know what? No. Seriously...I don't know what im doing here. I missed my afternoon dosage and that craving is coming back. You know the one don't you? People look depraved. And if they don't you want to deprave them. People look tasty...imagine burying them underground and slow cooking them to tender perfection...like a pig.

Like that time I turned one of my rental units into a convection oven. That made for some great stew. I named it after the family who rented that particular unit, my own little secret recipe. You really shouldn't eat the bones though.

 

[Kieran McConville]

so i'm looking at a house to buy for me and my three children, and at least in my area i'm absolutely taken back by how expensive houses have become.

i don't have a great job, making roughly $120K per year (not net, that's BEFORE taxes) so i'm not expecting the moon and the stars here. but i can tell you this for free - $800,000 doesn't get you what it used to.

i've always prided myself in being able to live within my humble means, but surely i'm not along who's frustrated by how expensive everything is?

i don't want to live in a shithole, and i don't know of a city in this country where you can live in a house that isn't valued at at least $500K. certainly not in areas that have... how do i say this... crime. i don't want to live in a crime area.

... good job i don't live in eastern ukraine (or The Ukraine, as The Ukrainians prefer to call it) by CRIME EA, right?

anyway, what are you guys finding at the moment? is it possible to live in a tolerable abode without having to live in a dump/ghetto?

sometimes i wish U2 would write a song about people like us... life is tough in situations like this. i know we're way better off than people in like in mexico and south korea, but it doesn't mean we don't know what it's like to live in hardships of our own kind.

Crimea river.

BOOOM!

Hey, guys, speaking of first world problems, what a bummer it is when housing prices fall off because Ariel Castro lived in your street.

 

[Rachel D.]

Yikes, $500k for a house? You can get a nice house where I live for $100,000. My friend and her husband just bought one for $40,000 and cleaned it up. The price was low because the previous owners were chain smokers with nine dogs.

 

[corianderstem]

Yeah, big-city livin' is expensive. I make a good living ... but I rent because I don't want to have to move an hour away for something I can afford in the Seattle area, just for the sake of owning a home.

Thankfully, kids aren't in the picture for me, so it makes the decision much easier to just stay where I am in an apartment.

 

[Kieran McConville]

I'm fairly sure Zoomerang96 doesn't actually have three children.

Unless he abducted them.

 

[IWasBored]

Gets points for being slightly more subtle than the other rich people problems thread (I forget the title, LM included it in some round of his thread survivor), but then promptly loses those points for still not being funny.

 

[Zoomerang96]

Iwasbored, I make money off of people like you every day for being as precisely funny or unfunny as I want to be. I own you, and I own all the humour you may or may not be aware that you either are or aren't enjoying. Either way, I've already decided for you.

A fictitious hypothetical first world problem for a first class, first world ass hole. That's me. A pleasure to see you all again, I hope all is well at your ends. Good night.

 

[corianderstem]

... oh. Apparently I missed the memo.

Whatever. I'm still happy renting.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

does the $800K cover the cost of RAGE proofing?

 

[IWasBored]

Iwasbored, I make money off of people like you every day for being as precisely funny or unfunny as I want to be. I own you, and I own all the humour you may or may not be aware that you either are or aren't enjoying. Either way, I've already decided for you.

A fictitious hypothetical first world problem for a first class, first world ass hole. That's me. A pleasure to see you all again, I hope all is well at your ends. Good night.

doesn't apply to me. i'm not polish.

 

[Kieran McConville]

If we could keep this one on topic, guys.

 

[Vlad n U 2]

I liked the part where he is rich.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Bismarck School Board To Debate New Bleachers for Gym

 

[mikal]

I'd like to hear a story of how many licks it takes to get to Gary's center.

 

[Kieran McConville]

...sure, sure, sure like the guy in the $5000 dollar suit is gonna hold the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in a month... COME ON!

 

[cobl04]

sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sho-sh-sh-sh-should-sh-sh-sh

 

[beegee]

Hi, Zoomy.

 

[Zoomerang96]

yes, please. kieran, literally post every thread and post of mine in this thread. thanks.

beegee, hello. i was not aware you still posted here. this is a pleasurable surprise.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

i shouldn't have snorted the ricin

 

[beegee]

beegee, hello. i was not aware you still posted here.

I don't. I just lurk until I see you or U2SavesTheWorld.

 

[U2SavesTheWorld]

What.

Sent from my butt using U2 Interference mobile app

 

[The Sad Punk]

I'm trying to remember if this is a joke account or not.

 

[bono_212]

When it needs to be.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Zoomerang96, a joke account? You guys must be mistaken. Now Red Ships of Scala Fester or whatever, sure.

 

[bono_212]

But what about uncle fester?

 

[jeevey]

I'm still laughing at 120k not being a great job. The median income in the US is 44 thousand dollars a year.

 

[Kieran McConville]

uncle fester was definitely a joke account.

I just recently saw that a 'Bad Ronald' was banned in 2009, can't remember if that was me or if my onetime alter was 'Bad Ronnie'. The former seems a stretch as I never posted after the early 2000s.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

when they banned me back in the day they sent the gestapo to my house.

lets just say, im still standing, even though it means i now have to pose as a self-destructive murderous cartoon character.

 

[Kieran McConville]

I once pretended to be a Ronald McDonald actor for a year just to stay out of prison.