All of Zoomerang96's 'Stories' here

[Mrs. Garrison]

the Ronald McDonald character was classic.

You remember the Gestapo, right? They are still at my house. Some of them out in the back, some in the freezer in the basement.

I pretend(ed) to be the Queen of England once on an airplane. By the time we landed i was Nancy Reagan. The funny thing is ive never even been on an airplane. I don't think anyway....? Yet i know so much about them.

I do still go to the airport terminal once a month for a good TSA "freebie"

 

[Kieran McConville]

The Gestapo are like cured sausages, that shit never gets old.

 

[Kieran McConville]

I'm still laughing at 120k not being a great job. The median income in the US is 44 thousand dollars a year.

Actually Zoomerang96 informed me privately that he was deliberately downplaying it so as to not alienate more, ah, median commenters. He actually makes over 800k a year. Working from home, I might add.

 

[jeevey]

Shit, is Zoomerang one of those people who post spammy links in the internet comments sections for a living? I knew I should have gotten in on that.

 

[Kieran McConville]

He once advised me to 'do the ronald', whatever that means.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

Doing the Ronald is a solid career move. Ive seen that posted in millions of comments. I once had a telephone call where someone asked me to flash mob the ronald with them. I traced the phone call to a tiny village in India. I sent them a severed, frozen penis of the gestapo, to which they worship to this very day. Do the Ronald, it never gets old and you can have enormous wealth like Zoomerang69.

 

[Kieran McConville]

do the fucking ronald, guys.

 

[jeevey]

Mrs G, you were cracking me up in the library today. Well done, sir.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

That wasn't me, i was no where near a library yesterday

 

[Dfit00]

Ronald McDonald is also having problems with his housing costs.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

 

[Dfit00]

Since when is Brad Pitt a soccer player?

 

[Zoomerang96]

I don't. I just lurk until I see you or U2SavesTheWorld.

oohhh baby i love your wayyyyy
i wanna be with you night and day

mmmmmmm...

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[Zoomerang96]

All of achtung baby's deathbear radiohead pictures in here guys

 

[Zoomerang96]

i'm not wearing a shirt right now, guys.

Area man not wearing a shirt right now

 

[Zoomerang96]

Bonus time!

Hey gang,

Didn't really know where else to post this, but my boss just told me my quarterly bonus would be a bit better than usual this time round and I'm wondering if you have any great ideas on how I could spend it?

Do I put it towards a new car, or perhaps put it towards my next few vacations... maybe even invest the whole thing in the stock market?? Gosh, so many options but I really want to make sure I do the right thing.

Not to brag, but I give away a lot of loose change to the riff-raff on the street (beggars, homeless, etc) and I feel this is a great example of what "comes around goes around", and I'm finally getting my just desserts for being a pretty generous guy. Just goes to show that even if you give a dollar here, you might get more than a few dollars ... THERE. ha, cause in this case, trust me, it's a LOT more than a few dollars.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm not alone here. What did you guys all do with your quarterly bonuses? Looking forward to hearing your stories and suggestions.

 

[Zoomerang96]

Albert Speer demands to be returned to Spandau, says he left his pen behind

 

[corianderstem]

 

[Kieran McConville]

Here's a suggestion: take all of the money in that bonus and set it on fire in a parking lot.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

have you ever rode a horse bareback?

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

I would spend it on peanut butter & crackers, natural peanut butter, that is. Its a great snack and you just cant get enough of it. Im not sure what the street name of it is...but im sure it really keeps you going.

Speaking of street, has Mike Hunt joined this forum yet? Heard she's looking for some peanut butter & crackers, along with a few good men, and a few bags of meth. Who isn't though?

These days days days... run away.... like horses over the hill. If only the horses would stop running, they could fill the sky with hay and the rivers with glue.

Nobody remembers your name until you give up your shoes. And the chickens had a problem because their eggs were rolling down the street street street. They was rolling to the beat until they were snatched up by the goblins hiding in the ditch.

The goblins begged for mercy after looking underneath the horse. "My what a big stallion you are" said one goblin. The other goblins ate the baby chickens and used the broken egg shells as poker chips.

If you have ever seen a goblin play poker, then you have probably seen a horse with a giant penis on its head. Some might call that a unicorn, others refer to it as indian chief. Others stare at the sky and wonder whats missing. The possibilities are endless.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

I use my quarterly bonuses to help finance coups in third world countries.

 

[Zoomerang96]

good thing this these posts got merged... lemonade stand suddenly had 5 new posts in a day. better keep it contained.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

Lemonade Stand is the Detroit of internet message boards.

& im Slim Shady

Oh deathbear, lets create our very own Fight Club

You can be Brad Pitt / Edward Norton

Kieran can be Jack's Smirking Revenge.

& i will be the bullet from the gun and the blood on the walls

Discuss. Or yeah...we cant do that according to the first rule.

 

[Kieran McConville]

The first rule of project mayhem is that we don't talk about project mayhem. sir.

 

[Dfit00]

Invest in Bitcoin, great prices at the moment.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Bitcoin is gonna crash.

...which would mean Zoomerang96 would blow his entire bonus and possibly his assets as well... so...

YEah! Invest in bitcoin! COME ON!!!!

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

Zoomerang69 Doctor-Shopping in West Hollywood

Internet Sensation Zoomerang69 hits record 100k posts at mega-fansite Interference.com with "rapid-fire bursts"

Mt. Dew to sponsor Iconic poster in future Super-Thread / Chat-Thread

 

[Kieran McConville]

U2fan2004! Caught On Camera Rocking Out To Four Non Blondes At Roadside Rest Stop

 

[Kieran McConville]

Also Spin Doctors' 'Little Miss Can't Be Wrong'