All of your 'Letters' to 'Elvis' here, guys

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
E|vis defends lengthy retort to restless native

Former internet guru eats poster's pet bird

Famous cartoon monkey suspected in rash of gruesome murders
 
Dear Elvis,

In a now distant time, a gentleman whose noble stature and ambitions I can personally vouch for, kindly wrote you a letter to which he has yet to receive his most deserved reply. The dear sir who I refer to of course, is none other than Kieran McConville OBE, WW1 veteran and Desert Storm air fighter ace.

Out of profound appreciation in your initial invitation to openly pen a personal letter to the (now former) Interference Tsar, Mr McConville poured his heart out in an attempt to create a better understanding between you two. "There will be peace in our time", Kieran said triumphantly after personally delivering his Opus, waving his masterwork in the air with his right hand as he addressed the gathering crowd.

Mr McConville has been on record on numerous occasions citing "it feels like it was 1938 when I first wrote that", and a quick look at the calendar indicates that a long time has indeed passed since that day. Whether it was in fact 1938 or 2003 is of little consequence; semantics rarely are between sensible and consenting adults.

In closing, I politely but firmly implore you to respond to Mr McConville's enquiries at your most early of conveniences.

Tepid regards,

~deathbear
 
Dear Elvis,

In a now distant time, a gentleman whose noble stature and ambitions I can personally vouch for, kindly wrote you a letter to which he has yet to receive his most deserved reply. The dear sir who I refer to of course, is none other than Kieran McConville OBE, WW1 veteran and Desert Storm air fighter ace.

Out of profound appreciation in your initial invitation to openly pen a personal letter to the (now former) Interference Tsar, Mr McConville poured his heart out in an attempt to create a better understanding between you two. "There will be peace in our time", Kieran said triumphantly after personally delivering his Opus, waving his masterwork in the air with his right hand as he addressed the gathering crowd.

Mr McConville has been on record on numerous occasions citing "it feels like it was 1938 when I first wrote that", and a quick look at the calendar indicates that a long time has indeed passed since that day. Whether it was in fact 1938 or 2003 is of little consequence; semantics rarely are between sensible and consenting adults.

In closing, I politely but firmly implore you to respond to Mr McConville's enquiries at your most early of conveniences.

Tepid regards,

~deathbear

Shaking deathbear's hand is like being flogged with a warm lettuce. Also he sweats a lot, but then again I'd sweat a lot too if I had the invasion of Poland on my hands.

Elvis knows all this of course, it was in the signed confession that Deathbear wrote him in the April of 1944, I mean 2004.
 
I only write letters to Elvis Presley, he's got better taste in music than Elvis. Here are some of the letters I've written:

Q

N

Z

U

W
 
Cujo wrote a letter to Elvis once. I'm not sure if Elvis knew it was from him, as it was written in couplets and signed Paul mcguinnes.
 
I can't decide whether to wear my brown shirt or black shirt today, Kieran. Do you have any suggestions?
 
it's a matter of which organisation i wish to represent, kieran.

~uncle neudorf.

oh shit. wrong account. #casuallaughs #messageboardhumour
 
I was on the shitter earlier when it occurred to me I probably shouldn't stir the pot.

I don't really know what that even means

But I got an urgent message from cow of the seas, asking me to please not flush.
 
I do. I didn't want to mention it but what the hey... I bought it from Elvis in 2009 after some very amicable discussions.

I own your asses, guys.
 
Oh Kieran, Czar of Interland, why haven't you responded to my private death threats?

Better yet, why haven't you succumbed to the deadly plagues cast down upon William Randolph Hearst-ville?

I send you grand chariots of flaming Zoomerang-pooh-pooh....toxic enough to wipe out an entire continent. And the thousands of airstrikes and drone wars all around you....millions have perished. And yet you remain supreme.
 
Please stop sending people to kill me. I've caught five of your guys now, one with ricin and another with a shotgun. If you don't stop sending people to kill me, I'll send a guy to Moscow and I won't need to send a second.
 
Obviously the guy with the shotgun got off easy, the other with the ricin, not so much. Go ahead and kill them all, they are expendable. Im sure you are waterboarding the remaining three but I promise you they will never reveal the location of my secret base. Also I haven't been to Moscow in 60 years....:sexywink:
 
Back
Top Bottom