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Old 03-10-2009, 02:13 PM   #16
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it is - and hairy, so a lot of shaving will have to happen.

it is worth it.
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Old 03-14-2009, 02:37 PM   #17
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girl on girl

It's getting harder to tell where my dreams end and reality begins...

Yesterday when i came home from work i was suprised to see chickens, roosters, ducks, and turkeys all in my front yard. There were easily 50 of them, all grazing on whatever it is they pick out of the grass and dirt and off of each other. My cats sat in their window seats watching this foul display, licking their chops in hopes i would let them outside to pursue the prey. It's a strange city i live.

On the way home yesterday, I stopped at the doctors office for my post OP checkup. The waiting room was filled with silence and gloom, nobody move nobody get hurt. Except for the guy next to me, Preston, a young and lonely gay chatterbox who had been waiting patiently for the Doc for over a week to try and schedule another colonoscopy (so soon after the last one?). Preston claims he can do the entire procedure "without any anethesia" he says with a proud smile.

Every night my cats watch from their window seats as a young feline harlot seduces and serenades them from the driveway. They watch as she battles off suitors all around her, bravely, as she focuses on them in the window looking outside to her world through panes of glass.

While this ritual takes place, far away from the distorted chants of forbidden love and cries of rape, I engage and old friend miles away from the city veins where the hills paint the sky. My friend tells me they are fine, now, but last time i saw them they were very near death. But you would never have known that had we not told you, they said. I leave my friend and set course for nowhere in particular when i pass by a new car dealership. I decide to test drive a new car i had never heard of and take off into the mountains when i stumble upon a place with no address. This is a beautiful community in the valley between the peaks where the trees grow forever and the crystal lakes reflect God's own palette. Every home is seemingly a castle and the flowers are in constant bloom, sans allergies.

I pass through open gates and notice signs of FOR SALE and OPEN HOUSE -->. Instead of going in for the tour i park in the country club and head inside to the bar, ask the bartender inside for a "double" and then another. As i marvel at the stone walls, vaulted ceilings, and picture windows, i am approached by a woman of very large stature and a deep voice. She is probably 6'4" with bulging muscles, big hands, and lots of makeup caked on her square jawed and high cheekboned face. He voice resonates in my chest as she questions me "what are you doing here? you don't belong here...you're not ready for this...yet".

Just in time, an old army buddy "Kevin" that i hadn't seen in 15 years shows up to get me "yo dude, Doc can see you now" Kev says in his southern drawl. He hadn't aged a bit, looking like he always did, way back when in the good old days. Kev leads me out to the golf course and we pass by several people on the greens, most of whom seem frozen in the moment void of any sudden movements. Kev takes me to the 9th hole where the Doc is just about to wrap up a hard days work. Kev nods as he turns away and disappears as the Doc greets me for the first time.

"Hey Doc, come here often?" i say trying to make small talk. He grins and taps me on the head like he's knocking on a door "house calls" he explains "it's kind of a new thing we're doing" he says. I say to him "Doc ive been meaning to ask you, about the bill...especially the $1800 painkillers...seem a bit excessive don't you think? I mean wouldn't a bottle of Jack done the trick for a lot less dough?"

Doc looks around his kingdom with wide eyes, lifts his hands up in the air like he is conducting an orchestra, "My friend...you can't..put...a price...on this...all of ...this" he says with sweeping gestures to emphasize his point. I let his words soak in for a few moments, and he had a point. But the truth is, i didn't know what "this" really is...or was. I started to ask him, but before i could respond there is a sudden commotion in the near distance. "Oh no!" Doc says as he grabs his clubs "im afraid ive got to go now" he says as he swiftly exits. I look around to see Preston, the young and lonely gay man running towards us in the distance "DOC!" he screams "DOC i need to see you...DOC!!!"
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:49 PM   #18
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:52 PM   #19
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:08 PM   #20
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Was I on the greens, smoking, Garrison?
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:15 PM   #21
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:17 PM   #22
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how do we sleep when our beds are burning?

you shouldn't smoke in bed, Jamison
the greens, yes
bed, no

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Old 03-14-2009, 11:21 PM   #23
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Mrs. Garrison, are you saying that I dreamt myself into your dream?

Yes, I believe that is what you're saying.
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:22 PM   #24
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*hands MissVelvetDress_75 a sparkler
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:27 PM   #25
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AJ, will you please place it on my lower lip?

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Old 03-14-2009, 11:27 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan Jamison View Post
Mrs. Garrison, are you saying that I dreamt myself into your dream?

Yes, I believe that is what you're saying.
Say, how tall are you old chap?
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:29 PM   #27
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Quote:
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AJ, will you please place it on my lower lip?

Miss VD, what is it that you want placed on your lower lip?
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:32 PM   #28
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miss vd, what is it that you want placed on your lower lip?
IT!

duh!
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:34 PM   #29
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:35 PM   #30
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