Angela Onion
Just to recap, after years of WAR with other fan forums (atease, coldplaying, etc.) your humble establishment has filed for bankruptcy and all of the mods have been asked to take unpaid leave. Also due to budget constraints, the blue crack prison had to cease operations, and release many of the most hardened criminals. Yes, they walk among us. Additionally the crime rate here remains at an all time high, with personal attacks, drug and alcohol use, and looting the primary offenses.
There may have even been a murder or two, but the bodies have yet to hit the floor, so to speak. So right now, with CSI Interference out of commission, all we have are rumors and whatever Frank the Monkey had for dinner.
Last time U2 put out a new album, the divorce rate here was low, the crime rate was almost non-existent, unemployment was very low and jobs were plentiful. Now, 5 years later, U2 still hasn't put out a new album and your humble establishment has become.....Detroit.
Also there have been a lot of plane crashes in these parts, apparently, so if you plan on traveling I would strongly recommend the hot air balloon. Please steer clear of cruise ships as they are still prone to hit icebergs.
Cheers
