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Old 07-03-2009, 07:03 AM   #121
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Originally Posted by Zoomerang96 View Post

U2's 'claw' claims 54,000 lives in tour opener
And 1273 of them were die-hard Interference posters.

Those with their face ripped off by the claw include the following:

****
******
**** ********
******* ******
*********
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Old 07-03-2009, 07:06 AM   #122
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I should post some of my real 'stories' here, guys, but you know what: I can't spare the moisture.
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Old 07-03-2009, 07:23 AM   #123
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All of Alan Jamison's 'sex stories' here, guys

Yeah, I know they've been cluttering up the interwebs a bit of late, but that's all about to change, courtesy of this new thread devoted to the topic. You will, naturally, be pleased to know that they are all pay-per-view.
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Old 07-04-2009, 07:04 PM   #124
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Principle Management insiders are privately admitting 'extreme concern' about the antics of U2's latest piece of technological wizardry, dubbed 'The Claw'.

The machine has reportedly taken on a life of its own between gigs, repeatedly attempting to break its titanium-reinforced bonds while in transit, and running amok in its cavernous chamber deep under the Dublin docklands.

'The thing has an insatiable appetite', one highly placed Principle source contended.
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Old 07-05-2009, 04:47 AM   #125
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Principle Management insiders are privately admitting 'extreme concern' about the antics of U2's latest piece of technological wizardry, dubbed 'The Claw'.

The machine has reportedly taken on a life of its own between gigs, repeatedly attempting to break its titanium-reinforced bonds while in transit, and running amok in its cavernous chamber deep under the Dublin docklands.

'The thing has an insatiable appetite', one highly placed Principle source contended.
That poor CLAW, chained up under the Dublin docklands!

I HOPE the 'claw' is ok!!!!

Say, has anyone heard about the sudden unaccountable disappearance of Dublin's homelessness problem?
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Old 07-12-2009, 05:58 AM   #126
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Area Man Reports Seeing U2 'Claw' In Area

Area man Peter Hitchens, walking his dog on the way to his office to write his weekly newspaper column, reported to our sources today that he thought he 'saw' the U2 Claw (or claws) running amok through the streets of London.

"I'm not sure, but I think it might have been tearing dozens of people limb from limb, as the streets ran red with human blood, so deep that parked cars started to drift off on the tide," Hitchens, a tory, said.

"I curse God that I was born in this degraded age," the man added.
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Old 07-13-2009, 08:28 AM   #127
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I'm actually Aidan O'Leary, guys

Or, as I am known in my 'real' life, Aidrienne O. Lear. I am not Irish or anything, in fact I work as a senior employee in the bank of Zimbabwe, which alas is having some problems just lately...

No, haha, not those kinds of problems. I don't want to scam you out of money via some crackpot story about how I'm helping arrange a business deal with one of my government colleagues or something like that. That would be silly. They're all dead.

No, I want you to wire me money so I can get the hell out of this hell hole, and back to my former job as a barmaid, in Dublin, Ireland.
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Old 07-13-2009, 09:15 AM   #128
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it all makes perfect sense now
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Old 08-09-2009, 03:58 AM   #129
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Does financeguy really talk like the guy in Black Books?

I think we should have a thread to discuss this matter.

Also, can I just add a note that you should feel free to post pictures of Financeguy, especially pictures in which he is dressed as a Young Fogey. Conscious or unconscious, I don't care.
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Old 08-09-2009, 04:12 AM   #130
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He's not aging well, that's for sure.

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Old 08-09-2009, 12:36 PM   #131
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is that old man sporting wood (?)
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Old 08-10-2009, 02:29 AM   #132
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is that old man sporting wood (?)
You owe me brain bleach.
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Old 08-10-2009, 09:39 PM   #133
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All of "Kieran McConville"s "U2" related "stories" here, guys. All of them. Here.
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Old 08-12-2009, 07:47 PM   #134
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that's pretty low end.

Zoomerang96 promises to ruin london u2 concert if he hears elevation, pride, walk on, stuck in a moment, desire, angel of harlem: Zoomerang96
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Old 08-12-2009, 08:03 PM   #135
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All of "Kieran McConville"s "U2" related "stories" here, guys. All of them. Here.
I cannot stop laughing right now.
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