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Old 05-09-2009, 08:49 AM   #46
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Larry Mullen arrested after headbutting claim.
Bono, Jimmy Swaggart to front new Christian internet channel.
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Old 05-09-2009, 08:50 AM   #47
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that isn't a caravan, you stupid old bat. that's just a van.
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Old 05-09-2009, 12:51 PM   #48
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that isn't a caravan, you stupid old bat. that's just a van.
h'actually, it appears to be a dodge caravan. so yeah, it's a "caravan".
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Old 05-09-2009, 03:55 PM   #49
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Old 05-09-2009, 07:53 PM   #50
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Benedict XVI Met Bono About Next Album: McGuinness

U2 global manager Paul McGuinness today announced that the Roman Catholic pontiff, Benedict XVI secretly met Bono recently, as the reclusive star sought spiritual guidance for the band's next album, expected to be rushed out within months.

"Bono met with the Holy Father in his summer palace for a quiet, private meeting of minds," McGuinness said in a prepared statement. "Their discussions remain commercial in confidence, but I can confirm that the spiritual framework for U2's next album was high on the agenda".

Pope Benedict, or 'Benny Bananas' as he is known in Europe's clandestine heroin industry, has long been an admirer of the Irish foursome, even on occasion recognising who they are when their photos appear in print.

The pontiff, believed to be 90, summoned Bono on short notice for the recent conference, and sources say that Benedict stroked a white longhaired cat on his lap the whole time.

"He's the funky pontiff," Bono quipped during a brief doorstop interview in Paris this evening. "He stole my i-pod and gutted its circuitry to enhance his bio-mechanical heart."
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Old 05-09-2009, 08:32 PM   #51
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wow, this next album is really going to be spectacular. I can hardly wait for these months to pass. Is Benny Bananas going to do a guest rap on one of the songs?

Awesome
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Old 05-09-2009, 09:56 PM   #52
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Yeah he's gonna do a spoken word piece, a reading from Ginsberg's 'Howl' I believe.
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Old 05-09-2009, 10:03 PM   #53
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Ratzinger is the last dickhead I'd ask for "spiritual guidance", let alone tips for the new album, but we'll see. Key thing here is that it's being "rushed out". NLOTH has obviously disappointed U2 Management.
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Old 05-09-2009, 11:19 PM   #54
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Ratzinger is the last dickhead I'd ask for "spiritual guidance", let alone tips for the new album, but we'll see. Key thing here is that it's being "rushed out". NLOTH has obviously disappointed U2 Management.
You never know. Benny Bananas knew his shit back when I knew him.
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Old 05-10-2009, 12:17 AM   #55
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Eat your heart out, The Onion.
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Old 05-10-2009, 01:40 AM   #56
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kieran, what's the latest on the rage-swine flu that's been devestating dozens of people round the world?
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Old 05-10-2009, 02:58 AM   #57
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i'm glad you asked, zoomerang96.

the latest is that it's rage swine ebola flu, and we're all gonna die. Did I mention the rage infection? I cannot emphasise that enough.
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Old 05-10-2009, 10:27 AM   #58
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i had rage/swine/ebola for breakfast, and im fine, you all are fucked and your going to bleed out on the inside.
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Old 05-10-2009, 02:10 PM   #59
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i'm glad you asked, zoomerang96.

the latest is that it's rage swine ebola flu, and we're all gonna die. Did I mention the rage infection? I cannot emphasise that enough.
Did you hear anything about the Clarence Hotel being placed in quarantine following a ebola/rage/swine flu outbreak?? Anyone????
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Old 05-10-2009, 04:17 PM   #60
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what about malaise? I'm pretty sure someone here has had that before...

i used to look forward to foaming at the mouth. These days i try to pace myself though.

Like the other day i was eating sewer rats when i discovered a decomposing corpse in the sewer. Of course i made sure no one was looking, then i dragged the remains and threw them in the passenger seat of my brand new 911 Turbo and drove home carefully. I would hate to get pulled over since my fourth DUI they took my license...
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