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Old 07-16-2015, 06:36 PM   #511
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I had a dream about the devil's chew toy today. I sleep a lot.
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Old 07-16-2015, 07:55 PM   #512
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Got a devils haircut
in my mind
got a devils haircut
in my mind
got a devils haircut
in my mind
all of kieran mcconvilles
'stories'
here
gang
got a devils haircut
in my mind
got a devils haircut
in my mind
got a devils haircut
in my mind
got a devils haircut
in my mind
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Old 07-16-2015, 09:33 PM   #513
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Old 07-19-2015, 02:34 AM   #514
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Old 07-19-2015, 11:17 AM   #515
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My suspicions about Jon have been correct all along!
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Old 07-19-2015, 09:02 PM   #516
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Huzzah!
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Old 07-21-2015, 11:09 AM   #517
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The chick from the NSA looks a lot like someone Jon used to date
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Old 07-21-2015, 08:25 PM   #518
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Surely coincidence that she also looks like his former girlfriend who, along with her new boyfriend, a cop, put his name on a computer database of sex offenders as a prank.
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Old 07-23-2015, 06:03 PM   #519
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Jon has the look of a sexual predator type, don't let the wheelchair fool you.
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Old 07-23-2015, 08:58 PM   #520
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He spends a lot of time with animals too. There's that.
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Old 11-29-2015, 04:15 PM   #521
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Every couple of weeks or so, i drive over to a quiet neighborhood adjacent to mine, to covet what i do not have because i chose the wrong button on the elevator.

Not just an elevator, perhaps they put the wrong air in the balloon, not the wrong type of air that is. Just the wrong balloon. Everything turns out to be wrong when you are faced with eternal circles of power, burning and glowing, you make a split second decision based on what they are giving you, only to find out the choice wasn't yours.

I sit outside of the fantastic manor blinded by trees glazed in ice which grow up towards the fog in this frozen hell we were given on this day. Branches giving up and crashing down to earth are of no consequence to me or my situation at the present. I pull a single bullet out of my gun and place it on the dashboard, meanwhile staring down the barrel of the gun between puffs of my cigar and a sip of something made just for me.

Eventually i will reach into my overcoat and pull out a handwritten note which i place into a woven basket i have sitting in the floorboard on the passenger side of the car. I get out of the warm car, walk around to the other side and open the door, grabbing the woven basket, which i will take to the front porch of the beautiful home i have been sitting in front of for the last several minutes.

After placing the woven basket onto the front porch, i calmly turn around and walk back to my warm car, careful to avoid any limbs which may or may not litter the sidewalk, and pause just outside of my car to turn and look back at the magnificent home which was surely built for me.

If only i had an army, i think to myself, i would take that army of mine and invade this castle. I would kill everyone inside, smear their blood all over the walls of this palace and hang their lifeless bodies from the gables and the roof top spires for all of the world to see. This is my kingdom i will soon lay claim to.

As i open the car door i see the inhabitants of my home peering from one of the fancy windows. I wave at them with a sweeping gesture and a mostly sincere smile. They don't return the wave, so i figure i better get on my way as i only have a few moments before the authorities show up.

On my last visit i had left them some homemade jam and seasonal fruits, with my own special poison, and a hand written note inviting them to attend my church. I have yet to see them in my congregation, but i remain hopeful that they will show up. Today i made them a special pie, along with some excrement, and another note inviting them to church. I figure they will get the hint eventually...in a couple weeks i may have to put an actual baby in the basket....symbolic of the virgin birth, of course.

Another sip from the decanter in my overcoat and im back behind the wheel of the running car. I slip the car into gear and pull away slowly so as not to disturb the bullet resting on top of the dash. The fog is still clinging to the tops of the trees who were birthed up from the frozen ground.

Once i pass down the drive onto the next, i realize everything around me is meaningless and the road im traveling is a dead end for some. It could be my job to warn them of the dangers which lie ahead, advise them to turn around, seek the light.

Except i won't do such a thing. The blood stains on the walls weren't a gift from the clouds or the dirt beneath the roots where the water dwells. The single bullet on the dashboard shakes a bit as the road gets a little bit bumpy thanks to some aging pot holes and watery puddles which need repair. The ghost beside me doesn't care for my driving or my second hand smoke. I can't get him out of my mind but the bullet remains. Of this i am surely not wrong.
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Old 04-23-2016, 02:09 AM   #522
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So guys - FUCK PISS, PISS OUT MY ASS - what are you planning to do? type the last thing you - CUNT DEATH BALLS GAK - thought of. What are you eating right -

MOTHERFUCKING SHIT PISS ASS FUCK

- now?
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Old 04-23-2016, 08:48 AM   #523
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let's make a story guys.

once upon a time, there was a... monkey, called Frank. And he was a very old monkey. So old in fact that his hair was all gone, and his eyes looked like a pair of cut-glass diamonds glued into his gaping eye sockets. And his p-

anyway, Frank, the monkey, was discovered in a travelling zoo in Alexandria, in 1875, where he'd wound up after being expelled from the court of the Ottoman sultan on account of f- (redacted)

Nobody knows where Frank came from originally, but he was very, very old. Possibly even old enough to have once belonged to Nebuchadnezzar. Some said he was Nebuchadnezzar.

Well one day in the late twentieth century Frank wound up on the doorstep of a systems analyst in Michigan called Jon Arbunkle, and f- (redacted)
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Old 04-25-2016, 12:38 AM   #524
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should we talk about the weather, should we talk about the -

MMFUCK ASS PISS, PISS OUT MY ASS

- government.
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Old 07-04-2016, 03:00 AM   #525
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