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Old 03-15-2014, 01:33 AM   #451
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Larry Mullen Polishing Motorcycle, Scowling: Sources

According to insiders, the U2 drummer likes to polish his vintage Harley in absolute silence, in the square of the village he bought for himself some years ago. Not even the peeping of a bird is permitted, after the drummer's highly successful 'kill a sparrow' campaign of 2002 which enlisted the help of district schoolchildren.

The sparrows died, then the locusts came, but after cleaning the earth of all living plant matter, they passed on too in their turn. Now the Irish heartthrob, 53, relies on home cooked meals bussed in from the Clarence Hotel daily, the only interruption to his monastic routine.

Mullen, who once wept at the tomb of Elvis Presley, maintains a stoic scowl as he polishes his motorbike, one of several dozen in his private collection which is never driven except on Sundays.
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Old 03-15-2014, 01:58 AM   #452
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No fuckin way. Those are some real good inside sources, I've never heard any of that stuff before. This confirms everything I've always suspected about Larry.

Thanks for bringing real info in this time of falsehoods and fakeries. You are the best forum member of the internet.
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Old 03-15-2014, 02:20 AM   #453
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Hey, if you want the truth, you gotta start asking the right fucking questions.
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Old 03-15-2014, 07:39 AM   #454
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True

 
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Old 03-16-2014, 04:23 PM   #455
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'The Sparrows of Mullen-ville' author found mutilated in Dublin back alley.
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Old 03-16-2014, 04:37 PM   #456
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I'm Pete Zatoppings.

Hi. My name is mikal and I like warm hugs.
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:01 PM   #457
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Mullen 'Skint' And Only Staying In Studio 'For The Shelter and Food'

"Larry Would Go Through A Lifetime's Supply of Anything In Two Weeks," Says Clayton of The 'Get On Your Boots' Hitmaker
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Old 03-17-2014, 04:46 PM   #458
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Dublin motorcycle Police Captain suggests 'The Sparrows of Mullen-ville' author's death was "accidental"
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Old 03-17-2014, 06:51 PM   #459
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Nothing's accidental, it's all part of the plot!
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Old 03-17-2014, 09:04 PM   #460
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Edges Arrives To Help Larry Move Junk Out of Garage He's Been Squatting In



"Rock Bottom" Mullen To Pawn Drum Kit
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Old 03-18-2014, 11:05 AM   #461
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Mullen-ville accountant mysteriously vanishes

Dublin Motorcycle Police Captain promptly closes case; "she was on that Malaysian airline"
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Old 03-18-2014, 05:08 PM   #462
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String of Mystery Disappearances Connected to Mullen Since 1961
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Old 03-18-2014, 05:59 PM   #463
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DB Cooper's remains kept in Mullen-ville vault

former Mullen-ville housekeeper famously claims before her own disappearance
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Old 04-03-2014, 07:54 PM   #464
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Neil McCormick to Do 'Volunteer Duty' On Next Tour

Sources say the U2 biographer and noted tweeter has been issued his punishment for straying from the script and fucking up the second band autobiography 'U Know Who We R'. He will be assigned to the security crew, whose job it is to pick out a nice looking girl and drag her from the audience to attend the master on stage, during one of the slow numbers.

On the 2009 tour, this was the Claw's job, but the next tour is expected to be more 'back to basics'; viz, no claw.

McCormick, who has been battling a bum knee ever since the 2009 Clarence Hotel rooftop incident, said he 'serves only to please.'
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Old 04-03-2014, 07:58 PM   #465
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Kieran did you stories break the forum?
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