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Old 04-06-2009, 02:37 AM   #16
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Reached for comment at his ranch in the Basque country shortly before press time, U2 drummer Larry Mullen Jnr. promised a 'full testimony' on the 'Great Fan Awakening of 2009' would soon be forthcoming from Bono and fellow band members Dave Evans (also known as The Edge) and Adam Clayton.

"Bono always knew that one day the light would shine forth on our fans, and that the consequences might be unpredictable," Mullen said.

Already the Vatican has asked for documentation on the leading cases of stigmata, which if proven to be legitimate, could set in train the process leading to beatification of the U2 singer and main lyricist, Bono.

At press time a wild mob of U2 fans assaulted the offices of journalist Ted Connors, demanding that canonisation proceed forthwith.
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Old 04-06-2009, 03:23 AM   #17
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Old 04-06-2009, 10:24 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Kieran McConville View Post
Reached for comment at his ranch in the Basque country shortly before press time, U2 drummer Larry Mullen Jnr. promised a 'full testimony' on the 'Great Fan Awakening of 2009' would soon be forthcoming from Bono and fellow band members Dave Evans (also known as The Edge) and Adam Clayton.

"Bono always knew that one day the light would shine forth on our fans, and that the consequences might be unpredictable," Mullen said.

Already the Vatican has asked for documentation on the leading cases of stigmata, which if proven to be legitimate, could set in train the process leading to beatification of the U2 singer and main lyricist, Bono.

At press time a wild mob of U2 fans assaulted the offices of journalist Ted Connors, demanding that canonisation proceed forthwith.
this sounds chilling. please keep us in the loop with what develops... please. the media is what's needed more than anything right now. some good honest reporting here.
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Old 04-06-2009, 10:28 AM   #19
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i wonder what they have to say to the unemployed about these series of events.
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Old 04-06-2009, 03:31 PM   #20
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i wonder what they have to say to the unemployed about these series of events.
Let's not get off topic here, okay guy?



this is indeed great news, in some ways i have been waiting my entire life to hear something like this.

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Old 04-06-2009, 03:49 PM   #21
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Gonna try and get some confirmation of this.
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Old 04-06-2009, 05:34 PM   #22
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I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Old 04-07-2009, 08:20 AM   #23
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I hope Bono's ok.
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Old 04-07-2009, 08:55 AM   #24
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I hope Bono's ok.
Bono's an overweight addict that has his pathway to his private jet paved by the backs of the unemployed, and will be seen from time to time flying it to his tax shelters where he hangs out with young girls in bikinis. Every once in awhile he forgets something like a hat or his wallet but don't worry he gets it sent on a first class seat, usually next to Bill Gates. But this is the real Bono, the one you usually see is just a stand in that's why he always forgets the lyrics and is sometimes seen writing with his left hand...
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Old 04-07-2009, 09:21 AM   #25
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stigmatics and hysterics have been found to share some of the same pathologies or symptoms.
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Old 04-07-2009, 02:30 PM   #26
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Reached for comment at his ranch in the Basque country shortly before press time, U2 drummer Larry Mullen Jnr. promised a 'full testimony' on the 'Great Fan Awakening of 2009' would soon be forthcoming from Bono and fellow band members Dave Evans (also known as The Edge) and Adam Clayton.

"Bono always knew that one day the light would shine forth on our fans, and that the consequences might be unpredictable," Mullen said.

Already the Vatican has asked for documentation on the leading cases of stigmata, which if proven to be legitimate, could set in train the process leading to beatification of the U2 singer and main lyricist, Bono.

At press time a wild mob of U2 fans assaulted the offices of journalist Ted Connors, demanding that canonisation proceed forthwith.
I had read the same press release, however in a follow-up story by a Chinese journalist worth his salt, Bono later confessed the blood actually came from some minor papercuts he received on both palms as he was counting stacks of Euros he found under his pillow.

The funny thing he thought was the currency that caused this uproar would soon be phased out for the new Global Currency being proposed and after doing some quick conversion rate math in his head he realized that once put in place, he would actually be able to purchase Lithuania to add to his collection.

He closes on Iceland in a few short weeks, once the appraiser determines there are no more elves (or 'financiers') there.
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Old 04-07-2009, 07:45 PM   #27
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I had read the same press release, however in a follow-up story by a Chinese journalist worth his salt, Bono later confessed the blood actually came from some minor papercuts he received on both palms as he was counting stacks of Euros he found under his pillow.

The funny thing he thought was the currency that caused this uproar would soon be phased out for the new Global Currency being proposed and after doing some quick conversion rate math in his head he realized that once put in place, he would actually be able to purchase Lithuania to add to his collection.

He closes on Iceland in a few short weeks, once the appraiser determines there are no more elves (or 'financiers') there.
YouTube - Hilarious Bono and Larry from U2

I thought they were saving up to buy Andorra...
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Old 04-07-2009, 08:04 PM   #28
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You got it all wrong, guys. It's not Bono with the stigmata, it's the fans. He inspires them to the stigmata, you see.
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Old 04-07-2009, 08:09 PM   #29
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You got it all wrong, guys. It's not Bono with the stigmata, it's the fans. He inspires them to the stigmata, you see.

YouTube - Depeche Mode - Wrong HQ HD (Live at Echo Awards, Berlin)

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Old 04-08-2009, 06:00 AM   #30
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sorry, i can't abide youtube links... is that a reference to 'personal jesus'?

If so, I concur. comrade.
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