All of Kieran McConville's 'stories' HERE

[Jive Turkey]

 

[Kieran McConville]

Kevin Rudd's Kid Brother Bevan to 'Seize Power': Mate

According to a mate of his, Bevan Rudd is rightly pissed off at the course of the Australian government under his older brother Kevin (Lord Protector For Life), and is gathering support in the 'bush' and the 'outback' for a 'mates' junta' (pronounced with a j) to sweep away the corrupt regime.

"For Bevan the final straw was Kevin's refusal to take bags of money in return for preferential treatment to his (Bevan's) taxi company," a mate said.

"Bevan's extensive gold panning and oil exploration interests in the 'bush' and the 'outback' have also been dealt a few sharp blows by the policies of his elder brother," the mate added.

"All in all, Bevan has got no choice here, his hand is being forced. There's a hit out on Kevin, and Bevan is ready to step up to the plate."

According to academic types, Australia has been living under extra-constitutional government since January 2008, when Kevin Rudd had himself appointed Lord Protector of the Christian Realm of Australia and Papua, bypassing parliament altogether except when he needs to raise funds for the construction of his giant pyramids.

And so, says Dr. James McClintock of the Australian National University, Bevan Rudd 'has a fair chance' of grabbing the prize if he acts now, while the majority of citizens are as pissed off as he (Bevan) is.

Rudd's wife Tiara, managing director of his 'Bevan Rudd's True Blue Underwater Wonderland Park', is understood to be threatening divorce if he breaks his 1978 pledge to stay out of politics. But friends of the family say she'll come around once she sees the groundswell of support for Bevan, right across the rural and regional outbacks of the land.

 

[Jive Turkey]

 

[Jive Turkey]

 

[Jive Turkey]

 

[Jive Turkey]

 

[PhilsFan]

 

[Kieran McConville]

aaaah! jean parmesan! he did it again!

 

[PhilsFan]

aaaah! jean parmesan! he did it again!

Isn't he the best?

 

[Kieran McConville]

he was far from the best.

 

[financeguy]

Kieran McConville, Angela Harlem, Jason Donovan, surviving members of INXS and other Australians, 'celebrate' Australia Day with fireworks, amyl nitrates, speed, crack; Rudd family's cat reported missing.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Australia Day Most Violent Ever Since The Last One, Say Rudd

 

[Jive Turkey]

 

[mad1]

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

 

[financeguy]

Reached for comment at his ranch in the Basque country shortly before press time, U2 drummer Larry Mullen Jnr. promised a 'full testimony' on the 'Great Fan Awakening of 2009' would soon be forthcoming from Bono and fellow band members Dave Evans (also known as The Edge) and Adam Clayton.

"Bono always knew that one day the light would shine forth on our fans, and that the consequences might be unpredictable," Mullen said.

Already the Vatican has asked for documentation on the leading cases of stigmata, which if proven to be legitimate, could set in train the process leading to beatification of the U2 singer and main lyricist, Bono.

At press time a wild mob of U2 fans assaulted the offices of journalist Ted Connors, demanding that canonisation proceed forthwith.

Rumour has it that Bono has been displaying signs of stigmata again, post the Glastonbury performance. Verily, repent thee of thy sin, for the End Times draw close.

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

 

[Kieran McConville]

A_Wanderer returns as mechanical killing machine from future

After passing through the stages of libertopianism, extropianism, time dilation and Randian Singularity, sources say the former geology undergrad returned to an empty Sydney junkyard late on Monday night.

His/Its arrival was heralded by a blinding ball of blue-white lightning and the sight of several old car door panels being blown off their hinges to smash against a nearby brick wall.

He/It, the Godhead, the Transformed, was apparently quite naked, entirely hairless and extremely muscular.

Sources say that A_Wanderer has returned to the present era in order to punish uneducated unenlightened man for failing to usher in His/Its transhumanism sooner than they in fact did. And also Dutch girls, who the Transformed allegedly maintains should be punished for having large breasts.

"AI (wandering) gods will make everything better in the new past," an insider observed.

 

[cobl04]

He's in for a rude awakening when he finds out how much rent is in Sydney...

 

[Kieran McConville]

It's not the future anymore, old tiger!

 

[BonosSaint]

Wondered what he was doing.

 

[PhilsFan]

A_Wanderer was also the first real life Pokemon.

 

[GirlsAloudFan]

Yes, but what about Alan Jamison?

 

[Kieran McConville]

Alan Jamison's band 'The Pricks' tanked after the failure of their debut single 'Fuck You'.

 

[Kieran McConville]

This thread to be resurrected any old time I feel like it: source.

 

[Zoomerang96]

yes

 

[No spoken words]

After passing through the stages of libertopianism, extropianism, time dilation and Randian Singularity, sources say the former geology undergrad returned to an empty Sydney junkyard late on Monday night.

His/Its arrival was heralded by a blinding ball of blue-white lightning and the sight of several old car door panels being blown off their hinges to smash against a nearby brick wall.

He/It, the Godhead, the Transformed, was apparently quite naked, entirely hairless and extremely muscular.

Sources say that A_Wanderer has returned to the present era in order to punish uneducated unenlightened man for failing to usher in His/Its transhumanism sooner than they in fact did. And also Dutch girls, who the Transformed allegedly maintains should be punished for having large breasts.

"AI (wandering) gods will make everything better in the new past," an insider observed.

I read this four times and laughed 5 times. Guess which reading elicited the extra laugh.......

 

[bono_212]

I'm going to assume number four which brought on the extraneous fifth reading

 

[Kieran McConville]

Here's a new 'story'.

I'm going to excommunicate you all, guys.

Sorry it had to go this way but, well, I have to excommunicate you. Yes, I see you out there barefoot in the snow. You aren't Emperor Henry. I don't care. I hope you get frostbit and your toes fall off.

Failing to bow to my supreme will, I'm afraid you must accept nothing less than to be excommunicated.

 

[Zoomerang96]

that "new" "story" is already a month old, kieran.

... LIES!