Women Lose 90 Percent of Eggs by Age 30

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Because you have aspirations that go beyond staying at home and raising children?

Perhaps we should avoid statements that imply value judgments one way or the other.

For many, the cost of day care more than offsets a second income.

And wanting to pursue opportunities outside the home is no more or less noble than wanting to give yourself full time to those who are in it.
 
Ok, I know I'm going to be hated for saying this (and I know that in most cases a second income is needed for most families to survive), but why have a kid when you are going to put him/her day care?



so you can afford to send them to college one day?
 
For many, the cost of day care more than offsets a second income.

And wanting to pursue opportunities outside the home is no more or less noble than wanting to give yourself full time to those who are in it.

I agree with you there. People should decide for themselves what will make them happy and what works best in their specific family context.
 
And wanting to pursue opportunities outside the home is no more or less noble than wanting to give yourself full time to those who are in it.

:up:

A happy mother is more important than quantity of time. Although I say that having been able to take a full year of mat leave twice and then access to a worldclass daycare.

Different things make different people happy.
 
Biological Clock Ticks Faster Than Most Women Realize

:yikes:

I'm getting closer to 30 (I'll be 28 in June) as well as my female friends. This article has freaked me out. I usually tell myself I could have a baby in my late 30s because my sister is 36 and having her first baby, plus my mom had me at age 43. But now I am thinking what can I do? What can woman everywhere do? Nature wants us to conceive at a young age yet society won't allow it. It is best for a woman to be well educated, have a solid job, in good financial standing and then be in a rock solid relationship, married or not, before she even thinks about getting pregnant. By the time she gets all this, she is in her 30s and her fertility drops dramatically. She then may face fertility treatments, at-risk pregnancies, etc.

I'm curious about everyone's thoughts are about this - particularly women in their late 20s and older.


Well that's good for my confidence!:angry:
I'm 30 and a day now!:huh:
 
Ok, I know I'm going to be hated for saying this (and I know that in most cases a second income is needed for most families to survive), but why have a kid when you are going to put him/her day care?
Why is this even a question? Honestly, there are plenty of reasons. You can't think of any?
 
Ok, I know I'm going to be hated for saying this (and I know that in most cases a second income is needed for most families to survive), but why have a kid when you are going to put him/her day care?

I partially agree with you here. I see so many children raised by day care staff, my Mum worked at a kinder for quite a while. During the week they see their parents briefly in the morning, for an hour or two at night when everyone's tired and crabby.
I don't know about overseas but here the financial argument isn't always correct. Once fees, snacks, work clothes, travel etc are taken out they aren't left with much at all.


The thought that my time is running out does scare me a little but what options do I have? I'm not going to find someone who'll do to impregnate me because I'm scared it won't happen, I'm not even sure I want it.
For all the women who know they want children, you have plenty of time. Yes the risks are higher but oh so worth it. Medicine is a lot more advanced, you can find out the chances of things being wrong very early in your pregnancy now and make a choice. If the thought is too scary look into adoption for sure.

:hug:
 
Why is this even a question? Honestly, there are plenty of reasons. You can't think of any?

I can thing of many.
I base that comment on most of the people I know that are in that situation. They elect to have a career rather than take care of their children properly.

The kids end up losing because of this.
 
Listen, I see all this bullshit happening with parents that rather have a career (So they can have their motor homes, jet skis, mansions for homes, etc)...and yet they have kids that are rotten individuals. I blame the lack of attention and supervision as the primary cause.
It even happened in my family.
 
Well sure, there are parents who make all sorts of bad choices. But that doesn't mean that every parent who chooses to have their child in day care is making the choice so they can live the high life.

Every parent (or set of parents, natch) makes countless decisions about the way to raise their kids and how to be their own family. Everyone does the best they can.

Day care does not automatically equal crappy parenting, so you can't make that generalization, just as you can't generalize that every parent who chooses to stay home has no aspirations beyond that.

I don't have the experiences to back that up, and not to take anything away from what you've seen and experienced, I just think it's wrong to generalize and judge like that.

Actually, I take that back - I do know people who have their kids in daycare, and they have fulfilling relationships with their kids. They're not rich, they're not trying to get rich, they're just trying to build the family they want. And from what I can see, they're doing great with it.

(To be fair, we have a very generous work environment, super supportive and accepting of that work/life balance, so they're really fortunate to have that. I know not all working parents do.)
 
Listen, I see all this bullshit happening with parents that rather have a career (So they can have their motor homes, jet skis, mansions for homes, etc)...and yet they have kids that are rotten individuals. I blame the lack of attention and supervision as the primary cause.
It even happened in my family.
The problem isn't the choosing the career, though. There are parents who stay at home full time and still fuck up. They just don't know how to raise kids, that's all. You can't blame choosing a career on that. If it wasn't that, it would have been something else.

To make the blanket statement that choosing a career is choosing to neglect your children is just lazy logic. I could counter with examples like my cousin who was valedictorian of his high school and got a full scholarship to a prestigious university while both of his parents had jobs. There are as many examples like that as there are the opposite.
 
You certainly implied it by asking why any adult would consider having a child knowing they were going to put them in daycare.
 
You're right, you didn't - I'm sorry. But your response to anitram was puzzling, then. I thought what she said was a valid response to your question. You asked why, she gave an example, you said that had nothing to do with what you meant.

My apologies if I'm wrong, but it read a bit like you were trying to ... well, pick a fight, for lack of a better term.

Edit: Pfan is apparently sharing my brain tonight. And editing it in the process. :lol:
 
i think daycare arises out of economic necessity more often than not.

i also think that there are some parents (usually women) who would be *miserable* if they had to give up their careers and stay home full time. and if being a stay-at-home parent makes you miserable, then your kids are going to be miserable. much better to work part-time, or full time, and be a part-time positive influence than be an omnipresent bringer of misery to a child.

but back to costs.

Memphis and i continue to give some time to talking about kids. and among the numerous obstacles in our path, one of the biggest truly is financial.

we're really no different than women over 30 who might need scientific assistance to conceive, or infertile couples who still wish to conceive.

i feel their pain. and with a house to pay for (you're looking at starting prices for a single family home easily over $400K in this area), as well as education, food, a car, etc., (not to mention, you know, having a wedding so that our family can be as secure as possible), i don't know how anyone could get by on a single income in any major urban area within 100 miles of either coast. Memphis and i both make not insignificant money, and while i'd love to stay at home or work part time (since my career has that kind of flexibility), i make way more than $1600 a month so out of financial necessity we'd have to look at day-care.
 
This has nothing to do with what I meant.

This is the part I don't get, then. What did you mean, if her answer wasn't what you were looking for?

I knew "pick a fight" wasn't the right phrase. It read to me like you were very passionate/angry about what you've seen and experienced, and wanted the chance to bring it up, and just went kind of a funky route to get there.

But you're the author, and obviously I'm misreading, so you can either choose to explain it or .... not, if you don't want to get into it. :)
 
i think daycare arises out of economic necessity more often than not.
exactly. 50 years ago, your average woman graduated high school, got married, then became a housewife. these days the option of the wife staying at home is not feasible for the average couple. it sucks. but unfortunately, these days, not only is the woman required to work, now you have to get a college education too. and some fields are leaning towards you needing a master's degree to get anything other than entry level.

obviously i'm not knocking any woman out there who does this. the point i'm making though is unless you can get married out of high school and become a housewife, the option to have a child before 30 is limited, unless you don't mind being pregnant while in school or before your student loans are paid off.
 
Some of you are talking about the risks of going through with a "later" pregnancy, and I just wanted to say from my own personal experiences, I just don't see it. My mother has been pregnant three times since she turned 34, the first was my brother Ben, who was supposed to be a twin, but the other didn't make it, the next two were miscarriages, the first of which had Downs Syndrome. (Though, on the other hand, I love my little brother with all of my heart, so, perhaps risk is outweighed by reward after all)

It's obviously a personal choice, but, as far as I'm concerned, I'm not going to try after 35, that's when surgeries will take place >_>
 
Increased risk simply means that there's more of a chance that something could go wrong.

I was the only one of my mother's children to be born before she turned 35. She had one miscarriage after that.
 
There's a need for only one egg to get pregnant. Women usually have 400,000 eggs when they reach menstruation. The 10% you have left by the age of 30 is worth 40,000. I think that's more than enough until menopause (that has to do more with the ovaries producing lower and lower levels of certain hormones, not the number of eggs left).

You can argue that the quality of the eggs declines with age, but so does the sperm's quality. Miscarriage is not to be blamed on the female solely. Many times natural abortion takes place because of a severe genetic disorder the fetus suffer from– and that's related to the father just as well.

Sometimes there's a gap between a certain research objective results and the conclusion the researcher draws from them. I wonder what made Dr.Simckes urge women to get pregnant before the age of 30, and also how much effort is put into urging men to become fathers. I've seen very little pressure put on men to have children by a certain age.

I think Women today realize more and more that the deal their mothers got was not that great. Having children can be a wonderful thing, but nowadays most chances are your partner is still not expected to make the same compromises in his life like you do to raise them. That brings women into having children at a later and later age or not at all, and that just pisses some people (don't know about Dr.Smickes specifically)

You should have children when (and if) you're ready for it, not when someone else tells you to.
 
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