Liesje
Blue Crack Addict
True, that. I work for a college, students are moving in now, and already the "helicoptering" is reaching new extremes, already have had breakdowns of bawling mothers and the freshmen are not even here yet...
What Is It About 20-Somethings?
- Thread starter Pearl
- Start date
The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
redhotswami
Blue Crack Addict
helicopter parents are definitely one thing that i don't miss from working in higher ed. i never mastered the art of calmly talking to them, anyway.
it's so bizarre to me. my parents rented an suv to help me move my crap (which i thought was over the top!), dropped me off, and went back on the highway.
PhilsFan
Blue Crack Addict
I turn 20 in a couple of months. Should I wait till then to post in this thread?
coolian2
Blue Crack Supplier
well it's too late now
UberBeaver
Breakdancing Soul Pilgrim
I think they're just used to having everything done for them, so now that they have to go out and do something on their own, they don't know how, so they do nothing.
Dfit00
War Child
I guess it's a life stage that some 20-year olds pass through.
BostonAnne
Refugee
I agree with your yes and no.. I believe that it is really good for 20 somethings to enjoy life on their own before entering marriage and children. I keep telling my kids to not even think about that stuff until they are over 25. I also think that with this economy it is very hard to be out on your own and see no problem living at home while advancing career wise.. and saving money for the future. It should not be a free ride by the parents, 20 somethings should pay their way no matter where they are if they are not going to school and they should participate in running the household.
I do see/hear about some 20 somethings dragging their asses around about being independent and being babied by their parents. I just went through an experience training a girl that just graduated college with some internship experience and she was totally clueless in so many ways. She was asked to not text during working hours and complained that she should be able to if she got her work done. (hello.. tell manager you have nothing to do.. anything else?) She also did not use her knowledge in accounting for herself, but constantly requested that I find her entry errors, etc. I absolutely know there are tons of 20 somethings that do not fit this mold... but I do think there are a lot of 20 somethings that need to learn more the hard way and not have parents guide them so much or take responsibility for themselves.
(I need to heed these thoughts carefully as my daughter goes through her senior year and into her future... my son went into the air force so that limited my parenting responsibilities as he nears his 20's.)
i wouldn't say there's anything wrong with not growing up. i suppose as long as there's some motivation to do adult things (meaning not just being content to sit in your parents' basement all day, all that stereotypical stuff) it's fine. with cost of living being the way it is i'm sure most single people find it's easier and cheaper to live at home for a while. i will say i still struggle to determine what it is i want to do when i grow up, and i just turned 27. i don't use it as an excuse to never try anything, but just that i honestly don't know. and that seems to be true for an increasing number of people out there.
I read somewhere that people who are 30 and under are more concerned with finding a job that suits their personality and needs rather than simply for paying the bills and making a living.
I agree and disagree with that sentiment. On one hand, I really do believe you should find a job that does reflect your personality or you'll be miserable. I also believe your job should define one of the reasons why you're on this earth. But at the same time some people never know what they want in life or take a real long time to figure it out. So in that case, you would have to settle for something that pays the bills and puts a roof over your head. Doing so sucks, I'm sure, but that's a fact of life.
Liesje
Blue Crack Addict
See I disagree, Pearl. I have no problems with people who live to work and have reached a high level of academics and/or very successful careers, but to me to make money doing something I love just takes all the fun out of it for me, it becomes an obligation. I work hard to pay my bills, keep my household fed and comfortable, and have enough on the side for some vacationing and to afford doing the things I really love doing. Is that "settling"? I love training dogs and intend to train German Shepherd dogs to a very high level of work and sport, but even the top winning stud dogs in the world are a dime a dozen. You do not make money this way and if you do, then among those that truly love the breed and the training you are considered an asshole and a sell-out that's taking people for a ride. I know *exactly* what I want in life and am currently doing it without spending a decade in school or working 80+ hours a week. I am stable financially, I live comfortably within my means, I have great credit, I'm 25 and have worked the same job for almost 8 years so I have passed technical certifications, have a long list of great references, and have built a network for new opportunities within my field.
redhotswami
Blue Crack Addict
Likewise, I don't have a problem with what people choose to do with their careers. However, the way I see it, strictly speaking for myself, most of my day/life will be spent working. As long as I'm sticking with this "living in the moment" mentality, I'm going to make sure that I'm spending most of those moments working toward (and in a couple of years, finally fulfilling) my dream.
For me, my career has to be meaningful. For the hours put in (well, let's be honest, I won't have to work 40 hours a week, but still), it has to mean a lot to me in order for me to stay committed to it.
^
Same. I can't imagine spending that many hours at work if it wasn't something that I loved and was committed to doing. Granted, I spend more hours there than most people but even if I worked the standard 40 hour week, I'd never last if it didn't bring me personal satisfaction and if I didn't have at least a little ambition to pursue that field.
But I do get what Lies is saying in the sense that I am lucky that I like my job and it also happens to be the sort of job that does come with certain perks that are make the rest of my life better (ie. allows me to travel extensively, live a very comfortable life and so on).
Same. I can't imagine spending that many hours at work if it wasn't something that I loved and was committed to doing. Granted, I spend more hours there than most people but even if I worked the standard 40 hour week, I'd never last if it didn't bring me personal satisfaction and if I didn't have at least a little ambition to pursue that field.
But I do get what Lies is saying in the sense that I am lucky that I like my job and it also happens to be the sort of job that does come with certain perks that are make the rest of my life better (ie. allows me to travel extensively, live a very comfortable life and so on).
financeguy
ONE love, blood, life
I work to pay the mortgage - it's that simple. If I could afford not to, I wouldn't work at all.
financeguy
ONE love, blood, life
I don't get why anyone would love an office job of any description. It's great that you do but it's something I genuinely don't comprehend.
Well I don't know how to explain it to you...I find the field to be intellectually stimulating and fast-moving. There are always new things to learn. Transactional work is busy so you're never sitting there bored. I'm always on a deal team of at least 3 or 4 other people (not to mention the other side) and I like collaborative work of that nature. I like the people that I work with, and I like having students around, it's fun to see new blood.
Maybe if my job consisted of photocopying all day I'd hate it, but that's not what it is.
Maybe if my job consisted of photocopying all day I'd hate it, but that's not what it is.
financeguy
ONE love, blood, life
Well, I know a few lawyers, and there is only one that seems to genuinely enjoy his job, the others are just meh. Actually interestingly enough, for the guy that does enjoy his job there is a lot of deal-making, collaborative stuff, etc, along the lines you mentioned.
Liesje
Blue Crack Addict
To me it's not just about time, but energy. I spend about 1/4 the amount of energy doing my job that I put into my dog training and club. Also, I have a great boss, great co-workers, we all respect each other and get along. Our team is very cohesive. That alone makes work worthwhile. I've made good friends where I work and I enjoy being in close proximity so that we can meet for breaks and bitch about work politics. I like the location of my job, I can keep dogs in the kennel van when the weather is cool so my breaks are spent practicing photography at the nature preserve or walking dogs around campus. I help people all day long (part of my work is customer service/support, part is fixing things for people, and part is helping/training people). Like financeguy, I would not work if I didn't have to, but since I do at least it is in a field where I literally have people crying tears of joy over my work/help. I know I am appreciated because someone tells me so every day. That helps no matter what you do or how much money you make and now that I think about it I probably take it for granted. For whatever reason, my work just comes easy to me, I don't have to put a lot of energy into it, and the stress of the job does not affect me like it often does the rest of my team, perhaps because I *do* have other things that I look forward to and ways of escaping and relieving work stress so that it doesn't effect how I do my job.
I never said I hated my job or my work. I just don't love it the way I love working with dogs or traveling or spending a week floating in the lake reading books. I couldn't imagine not having things like that to look forward to. Paid vacation...it's not easy these days to find a job that doesn't require graduate degrees that PAYS you while you are on vacation. I was offered a different job at one point and kept the one I have now because all things relatively the same, it offered more paid vacation.
I don't love any other bands/music close to U2 but that doesn't mean I listen to them 40 hours a week, you know?
I am 30 and have been financially independent and employed with the same company for 7 years - since a few months after graduation. Why are so many not like this? I'd blame the bad economy of the past 10 years as one factor. Jobs are harder to get. But more to the point, really good, stable jobs are becoming a thing of the past. Many jobs, even the well paying white collar ones that require a college degree, are becoming contract type positions with few benifits and little job security. My job is not like this and is 10 hours from where my folks are. But if it was like this and I was working in the same area I grew up, it would have made a lot of sense to live at home for at least a few years after college just to make sure I was on my feet and had some money in the bank in case things went south. Or, I'd have stayed in school to get my M.S. So the bad economy and the overal structural changes are one thing but I think another is a fundamental additude and culture change. 50 years ago, it was expected that you would be off on your own, married, etc..by 20 or 22. As a result, many people married their high school or college sweethearts and were quickly off to the races with adulthood. then come the 1960's and 70s and you have the increasing number or woman entering the work force and increasing divorce rates. beginning during this time it became more socially acceptable to deviate from the norm in a number of ways including not marrying, not having kids or taking longer to do these things. This trend has continued and been helped by the ecomomic factors. Also, current 20 somethings are smart to take their time with marriage knowing that the divorce rate has been high and they don't want to repeat the mistakes of their parents if they come from a broken family.
maycocksean
Rock n' Roll Doggie Band-aid
Imagine if everyone only did work they were passionate about. . .
We'd probably have no clothes to wear, no shoes on our feet, no computers or electronics. . .
Our lifestyle is built on the backs of people that with very rare exceptions are anything but passionate about their jobs.
But then again, in much of the world the whole concept of only doing work you are passionate about is a foreign concept. They are where most of humanity has been for most of earth's history--working strictly to put food on the table. I'm not arguing pro or con here--just pointing out that without a mass of people doing the drudge work of creating the means for modern living the rest of us would be unable to pursue our dreams.
We'd probably have no clothes to wear, no shoes on our feet, no computers or electronics. . .
Our lifestyle is built on the backs of people that with very rare exceptions are anything but passionate about their jobs.
But then again, in much of the world the whole concept of only doing work you are passionate about is a foreign concept. They are where most of humanity has been for most of earth's history--working strictly to put food on the table. I'm not arguing pro or con here--just pointing out that without a mass of people doing the drudge work of creating the means for modern living the rest of us would be unable to pursue our dreams.
I know very few people who are meh about it, to be honest. I'd say 90% of them fall in one of two categories - they are either the types who knew they wanted to be lawyers since they were fetuses and live, eat and breathe for their jobs or they pretty much hate what they do but they have gotten used to a certain lifestyle and standard of living that they are not willing to give up so they stay at a job they hate.
The rest are "meh" but like I said, that's definitely a minority in my circle.
deep
Blue Crack Addict
that world does exist
and is well inhabited with people in their mid 20s and 30s, living in their own little world, in their parent's homes
financeguy
ONE love, blood, life
Well, in regards to the second category, I think the divergence is because you are talking about an environment where 12 hour + working days are the norm, so anyone without a real aptitude, drive and commitment is going to begrudge giving their employer anything but the bare minimum; whereas I am talking about people that by and large work standard office hours so they can afford to be fairly "meh". The guy I know that loves his job is a junior partner in a large firm, and works 70 hour weeks, but that is relatively unusual here (to work those long hours, I mean). In Manhattan, it's probably considered slacking for any lawyer to "only" work 70 hour weeks. I'd say most lawyers in Dublin work more or less normal office hours, but still earn a pretty good living out of it.
financeguy
ONE love, blood, life
For me, it's easy to imagine that.
Liesje
Blue Crack Addict
financeguy
ONE love, blood, life
The greed of the babyboomer generation caused the financial crash. If their 20 and 30 something offspring moving back home is the price they have to pay, then, f*** em.
Rachel D.
Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS
I'm 22, just graduated from college, and live with my parents again. I would LOVE to have my own place and move out, but how am I going to pay for that? Money is my main problem. I have a part-time job working for a local small business that I like fairly well, and am having trouble finding something to do with my art degree. Ideally, I would like to make most of my living painting or working with art somehow and maybe have a part-time job if necessary. I'm working on making that happen.
I'm not going to settle for a crappy job right now, because I might as well have not gone to college at all if I'm going to do something I hate for the rest of my life. If I turn 25 and I'm still in the same situation, then I guess I'll have to settle for a crappy job like everyone else. I don't want to get married right now, either; I don't really like kids and would rather be independent. Some people laugh at me when I say that I don't want to have kids, as if it's some uncontrollable urge that will come over me whether I want it or not. That kind of makes me angry; I could rant about that, but I'm not going to at the moment. Plus, I'm a little inexperienced in the whole romantic relationship department, but that's because it hasn't been a priority in my life since about middle school.
I'm not going to settle for a crappy job right now, because I might as well have not gone to college at all if I'm going to do something I hate for the rest of my life. If I turn 25 and I'm still in the same situation, then I guess I'll have to settle for a crappy job like everyone else. I don't want to get married right now, either; I don't really like kids and would rather be independent. Some people laugh at me when I say that I don't want to have kids, as if it's some uncontrollable urge that will come over me whether I want it or not. That kind of makes me angry; I could rant about that, but I'm not going to at the moment. Plus, I'm a little inexperienced in the whole romantic relationship department, but that's because it hasn't been a priority in my life since about middle school.
Irvine511
Blue Crack Supplier
agreed. most lawyers i know don't love their jobs. only the lucky ones do.
had my present career not worked out, i'd have gone to law school. while i'm sure i would have done just fine in the legal profession, what i am doing now is actually -- in a modified sense -- pursuing my "dream." so, had i been in law (or something else), i'd probably find many things to like, but i'd be creatively frustrated (and not everyone has creative ambitions).
it did, however, take a lot of struggling to get to this point, and i took plenty of time after graduating to figure out exactly what it is i wanted to do. i didn't have my first paying job in this profession until i was 25/26 years old, i worked an unpaid internship for almost a year, i have had very lean times, you are paid next to nothing in the beginning, and anxiety about the next gig is pervasive as there's next to no job stability.
i put up with that because i feel like i couldn't have not tried to do what i'm doing, and even if it all falls apart and i have to make a career change, at least i tried.
but that's my personality. i fully understand people who look for sensible, practical jobs that enable them to live their lives. i'm not one of them.
AliEnvy
Refugee
So finding the right path is a priority over independence to many 20-somethings who have sponsorship from their parents (who raised them with the mantra to do what they love).
What's the big deal?
Some find their paths faster than others. Some never find it yet independence becomes the priority at some point.
If the due date is getting later, so what?
What's the big deal?
Some find their paths faster than others. Some never find it yet independence becomes the priority at some point.
If the due date is getting later, so what?
Irvine511
Blue Crack Supplier
only you know what's right for you. screw 'em if they think you should settle. if you can't live with yourself that way, then don't. get up every day and work at making it happen. life will change, you will change, but so long as you listen to yourself, you'll get it figured out. we're all different.
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