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Old 08-30-2010, 03:57 PM   #76
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I know times are difficult these days
and it seems like many are just saying why struggle?

the concept that one should hold out for work that they find enjoyable is baffling to me.

with struggle comes growth, and the ability to understand the value and costs of maintaining the lifestyles that we have
there is a learning curve to life, steps we take in maturing and growing up.

when you are 30 and living with your parents (partially) on their dime how does that prepare one for the real world?

what is going to happen when you are 40? are your 70 year old parents still going to subsidizing your living costs? or age 45 or 50?

When you get to a certain age you should be capable of supporting yourself
if that means you have to downgrade your lifestyle, that really is better than remaining an adult-child.
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Old 08-30-2010, 04:05 PM   #77
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Maybe it's because I'm an oldish fart now, but I tend to agree with a lot of that.

I had no idea what I wanted to do after college - hell, I was a music major who had no designs on teaching or performing for a living, so I had no clue what I would do while I was even in college.

I moved back home for about 7-8 months after graduation because I had no idea what else to do, and worked a dead-end job and was more or less miserable because all my friends had moved away.

Then an opportunity arose to move back to my college town with a friend, and I took it. I still didn't know what I wanted to do, but started teaching piano for a while - that was a struggle. I eventually had to give it up and go full-time with an office job, because I had to pay my bills.

But it was better than the alternative of living at home and waiting to figure out what I wanted to do, and better than the alternative of eeking out a very meager living in the music field and not being able to live my life the way I wanted.

So now my passions are all outside of work, and my job pays the bills. I fell into my field about 10 years ago, and laugh about it now ("How the hll did I end up in HR? I was a music major!").

But it's funny - I'm 37 and still have those "what do I want to do with my life" thoughts. And that's okay.

I don't think I settled, because I honestly didn't really know what I wanted to do. I don't love my job (but I'm lucky to really enjoy working where I do and with the people I do), but it pays the bills and allows me to do some of the other things I love.

I don't know how much of it is just my personal situation of not really knowing what I wanted to do, or how much of that is a generational difference, but the idea of sitting around waiting for a job that's in your field, or in line with your passions ... I can't understand that.

I mean, I can to some extent - everyone wants to find work that's satisfying, but sometimes you have to find/make your own opportunities.

And then I guess some of that is also limited by the economy, so ....

Holy schnikies, I'm rambling.
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Old 08-30-2010, 04:25 PM   #78
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the concept that one should hold out for work that they find enjoyable is baffling to me.
I'll go out on a limb and guess that this message wasn't drilled into you as a youngster the way boomers have drilled it into their kids.

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when you are 30 and living with your parents (partially) on their dime how does that prepare one for the real world?

what is going to happen when you are 40? are your 70 year old parents still going to subsidizing your living costs? or age 45 or 50?
The OP and thread is about 20-somethings...
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Old 08-30-2010, 04:26 PM   #79
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I think an extension of the initial conversation is a bit inevitable, as we compare what it was like for us/what it's like for them.

But it's definitely an interesting phenomena (if that's the right term to use).
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Old 08-30-2010, 04:28 PM   #80
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The OP and thread is about 20-somethings...
Chances are if you are 30 and living with your parents, you lived with your parents as a 20 something too.
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Old 08-30-2010, 04:47 PM   #81
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Right, but the milestones in the OP include the whole enchilada - career, marriage and kids - by 30.

The delay is by about 5 years on avg from early to late 20s.

More and more people pursuing a higher education (than in the 70s) and establishing career/independence before marriage - or opting out of marriage altogether - would seem to be the broader trend rather than some sort of lost generation of slackers.
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Old 08-30-2010, 04:48 PM   #82
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I'll go out on a limb and guess that this message wasn't drilled into you as a youngster the way boomers have drilled it into their kids.



The OP and thread is about 20-somethings...

I did read the 10 page article, and I saw this thread when Pearl first put it up.

I wrote what would have been the first reply, but decided not to post it.

I didn't want to sound too harsh. What was drilled into my head?

Yes, even in the 70s we were asking ourselves what would we enjoy doing for a career.

I think most of us end up where we are because of our circumstances. I moved out at 19 because in my working class family home of 3 bedrooms with 6 kids I wanted my own place.
And some of my peers were moving out on their own. I also had worked all through high school because with a large family if I wanted things, I had to buy them for myself. My best friend came from a family with 2 children. He also lived at home into his mid 30s.

At what point should one be responsible for making their own life choices?

I had a lot of crap drilled into my head as a child. In my 20s I realized I had to make my own way in the world and think for myself.
I still loved my family but I let go of a lot, and tried to understand the world as it really was, not as it was told to me.


Sean touched on it a couple of pages back. If people expect to only do jobs they find enjoyable, then who will do the other 95%+ of what needs to be done. I think that is why they pay people to work.

The concept of only doing what we enjoy and find rewarding is a reasonable standard for volunteer work.
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Old 08-30-2010, 04:48 PM   #83
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More and more people pursuing a higher education (than in the 70s) and establishing career/independence before marriage - or opting out of marriage altogether - would seem to be the broader trend than some sort of lost generation of slackers.
True, true.
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Old 08-30-2010, 11:33 PM   #84
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For the record, I'm a journalism major studying primarily TV and radio.
how hard do you work, can i ask? like when you're not at school or working whatever job you might be working to bring money in, are you enjoying going to games on the weekends and interviewing, commentating, etc? how much voluntary time do you put into it, is what i'm asking.

I'm a journalism major as well... but i'm not enjoying it as i once was. Creative writing is my favourite class, and i like Lit as well, for the class discussions. i also do Italian, because i enjoy it.
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Old 08-31-2010, 01:03 AM   #85
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only you know what's right for you. screw 'em if they think you should settle. if you can't live with yourself that way, then don't. get up every day and work at making it happen. life will change, you will change, but so long as you listen to yourself, you'll get it figured out. we're all different.
All summer I've had to put up with people asking me when I'm going to get a "real job." But I'll show them! Eventually.

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Don't. Seriously, don't settle.

I'll spare you the life story, but sufficed to say that the economy tanked right before I graduated and I worked the past few years at a job I hated and I only quit recently because it was just not worth it at all. Don't do that to yourself.
I worked a horrible job two summers ago in a kitchen at a deli/meat market and the only reason I didn't quit after the first day was because I wanted to buy a laptop to take to college with me. I hated that job and it felt like another part of my soul dried up and died every day I worked there. Having a job I hated pretty much made my whole life miserable and I never want to go through that again. I suppose if I was in a desperate situation, I might change my mind; but while I'm not desperate, I'm just going to keep painting and selling stuff to tourists at my little job.

Oh, I could tell stories about that old job!
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Old 08-31-2010, 06:17 AM   #86
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I worked a horrible job two summers ago in a kitchen at a deli/meat market and the only reason I didn't quit after the first day was because I wanted to buy a laptop to take to college with me. I hated that job and it felt like another part of my soul dried up and died every day I worked there. Having a job I hated pretty much made my whole life miserable and I never want to go through that again. I suppose if I was in a desperate situation, I might change my mind; but while I'm not desperate, I'm just going to keep painting and selling stuff to tourists at my little job.

Oh, I could tell stories about that old job!
oh, i have so been there. it totally burnt me out and as a result i refuse to work for a call centre ever again, despite it being easy work and good money.
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Old 08-31-2010, 06:36 AM   #87
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I have a friend who works at a call center. She isn't too happy in it right now. It's a debt collection agency, and naturally, let's just say she hasn't always had the most pleasant experience with callers. Unfortunately, the team she's on is strict about the callers being all polite and calm (other teams are allowed to be a little more aggressive in their responses to callers). Which I fully agree with in theory, you should always remain as calm as possible-but that's easier said than done when someone is making threats and raving like a lunatic. Add in the fact that the business recently cut the hours and got rid of supervisors because they claimed there was "collectors' fatigue" going on ('cause these changes will totally help solve that problem), and it's no barrel of laughs for her right now. But it helps pay the bills and takes care of her necessities and such, so...

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I'm a journalism major as well... but i'm not enjoying it as i once was. Creative writing is my favourite class, and i like Lit as well, for the class discussions. i also do Italian, because i enjoy it.
I'd love to get into a creative writing field above all else-I want to be an author. But I do find journalism fascinating and took it in high school, and wouldn't mind checking it out a bit further. Anything English-oriented, I'd love to have a career in, basically.

And I don't mind working as a "struggling writer", myself. I would at least like to not be so poor that I'm forced to choose between rent and food or something like that, though. My family's been through the "living paycheck to paycheck", struggling to cover the basics stuff before, and I greatly admire them for pulling us through all the tough times, we've managed to make it before and we'll do it again. But if I can improve on that just a little bit, that'd be nice.

Angela
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Old 08-31-2010, 07:46 AM   #88
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Originally Posted by deep View Post
I know times are difficult these days
and it seems like many are just saying why struggle?

the concept that one should hold out for work that they find enjoyable is baffling to me.

with struggle comes growth, and the ability to understand the value and costs of maintaining the lifestyles that we have
there is a learning curve to life, steps we take in maturing and growing up.

when you are 30 and living with your parents (partially) on their dime how does that prepare one for the real world?

what is going to happen when you are 40? are your 70 year old parents still going to subsidizing your living costs? or age 45 or 50?

When you get to a certain age you should be capable of supporting yourself
if that means you have to downgrade your lifestyle, that really is better than remaining an adult-child.
You think that working toward a dream isn't a struggle? It's humiliating to know that I'm pushing 30 and do not have a solid source of income of my own. I was embarrassed when this summer my parents decided to step in and offer financial help, because I was suddenly hit with a number of unfortunate circumstances, through no fault of my own. Everything I had tried to do for myself had fallen apart.

I was brought to this path, and now I'm going to finish it. I've got so much invested in this dream (time, money, passion), that I really haven't any other choice.

But it pisses me off when people say that I'm not grown up, that I don't know what it's like to struggle (you're not the only one. I've got relatives telling me the same crap.) As if working a part-time job while taking 24 graduate credit hours is a walk in the freaking park?

If people can't appreciate all the sacrifices we have to make to get to where we are, then they shouldn't freaking go to a doctor for our services when they are ill/injured. Dealing with physical pain is just part of the struggle, right?

Everyone in my class has a supplemental income, whether it's from their parents or partners. It's just something I have to do to get through this.
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Old 08-31-2010, 07:49 AM   #89
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obvious troll is boring
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Old 08-31-2010, 07:59 AM   #90
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obvious troll is boring
needs moar candy!
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