TV Polygamous Family Investigated

[Pearl]

A Utah family with four wives had hoped its participation on a TLC reality TV show would shed light on polygamy.

But now that it is the target of a bigamy investigation by Utah police, one advocate worries that the probe will instill fear in other plural families about going public with their lives.

"If it really goes to a court situation, then our people are going to go right back into isolation," said Anne Wilde, co-founder of Principle Voices, a nonprofit that seeks to educate the public about polygamous families.

Over the past 10 years, Utah's historically insular polygamist community has worked with state agencies to increase understanding of the unique aspects of polygamous culture, Wilde said. As a result, plural families are now less hesitant to seek help and services when needed, she said.

The Brown family's decision to do the reality TV show was sort an extension of that education work, said Wilde, who knows the family well. "Sister Wives," which premiered Sunday, chronicles the life of 41-year-old advertising salesman Kody Brown, his four wives, 13 children and three stepchildren. The Browns, of Lehi, have said they hoped that the peek into their lives would help broaden the public's understanding of plural families.

Lehi police are investigating whether the family is violating bigamy laws in plain view on cable TV. Brown is only legally married to Meri but also calls three other women his spouses: Janelle, Christine and Robyn.

'Sister Wives' family investigated for bigamy - Entertainment - Reality TV - TODAYshow.com

Does this family deserve to be investigated and maybe even charged with breaking the law? Should polygamy even be allowed?

I'll give my viewpoint: I think polygamy is unfair because it caters only to men. Why is it that men get to have all the wives, but women can't have more than one husband? I also believe polygamy hurts women because it makes them highly jealous and competitive with each other (tell me that doesn't happen). Furthermore, polygamy exists in cultures where the men are domineering and the wives exist to serve their husband's ego.

Thoughts?

 

[deep]

how many husbands would you like to have?

 

[Pearl]

One, thank you because one is enough.

That brings my other reason for being against polygamy. Being in a relationship with one person is difficult enough. How would having it with 3,4,5 people make it any easier? Is it even worth it? I doubt it. Which leads me back to polygamy is all about serving men's egos.

So, deep, how many wives would you like to have?

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

My thoughts are exactly yours in terms of polygamy. I don't get it, and the whole "ego trip for the man" (which I fully believe is exactly what it is-it's no different from any other religion that's had a history of favoring men over women) thing definitely rubs me the wrong way. That being said, if everyone in a polygamous marriage was fully consenting to it and of legal age and all that sort of thing, it's really not my place to tell them they shouldn't do it just because I think it's a dumb idea . They know what they're getting into, if they have any issues, that's for them to work out, it's not my concern.

As for this particular story, duh, the family should've known that going public with their setup was going to cause scrutiny and investigation. That's kind of one of the pitfalls of being public about something, so if you don't want that to happen, then stay private (especially since, for the love of god, we really don't need any more family reality TV shows). And since bigamy is illegal, it seems logical that people are going to want to check and see if that's happening, and if they did indeed commit that crime, then they're going to have to deal with the consequences. These people may hope to "educate" the public (and you can argue whether or not that's their intention. I highly doubt it is, but I could be wrong), but most people are either going to watch this and see it as yet another reality freakshow, or they're not going to watch because the concept is, quite frankly, just plain weird to them.

Angela

 

[deep]

One, thank you because one is enough.

That brings my other reason for being against polygamy. Being in a relationship with one person is difficult enough. How would having it with 3,4,5 people make it any easier? Is it even worth it? I doubt it. Which leads me back to polygamy is all about serving men's egos.

So, deep, how many wives would you like to have?

I've had a few,
but most of the time they go back to their husbands.

 

[Pearl]

Ha!

 

[deep]

just kidding

came up with that when I got tired of people asking me if I have ever been married.


I started answering, "I had a wife."

when they asked what happened? I would deadpan
"She went back to her husband."

 

[Pearl]

I knew you were kidding, deep

 

[deep]

there will be no kissing and telling from me
(unless I decide to start FBing and tweating )

 

[anitram]

Is this family collecting social assistance? For example, it is common among polygamous families to have all the wives except for the first one (as she is the only legally recognized wife) to be collecting benefits on behalf of their children as single parents. Are they benefiting from any tax breaks as single parents, etc?

 

[Pearl]

Utah's complicated history with polygamy starts a new chapter Wednesday (July 13) as a reality-show family challenges the state's ban on plural marriage, a fight that could go all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Nationally known constitutional law professor Jonathan Turley said the federal lawsuit does not call for plural marriages to be recognized by the state. Instead, it asks for polygamy between consenting adults like his clients, Kody Brown and his wives, to no longer be considered a crime.
“We are only challenging the right of the state to prosecute people for their private relations and demanding equal treatment with other citizens in living their lives according to their own beliefs,” Turley said in a press release.

Polygamists Challenge Utah's Anti-Polygamy Law

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I don't care what they do but I just don't get how that guy attracts and keeps so many women. I've watched one entire season of that show and he is so freakin obnoxious and annoying. They act like he's got this magnetic personality and he's so incredibly hot. I don't see it-at all.

 

[Liesje]

Yeah he grosses me out. Seems to think very highly of himself and probably attracts women who have no sense of self.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Seems to think very highly of himself

Yep. The way they all get jealous of his time with the other ones. I'd be thrilled, I'd be pushing him out the door

He strikes me as a guy who needs all of that for his ego, not for any genuine love or any religious beliefs.

 

[INDY500]

Should polygamy even be allowed?

Here are the questions you must ask yourself to answer that question.

1. Do polygamous marriages harm YOUR marriage?

2. Isn't state-sanctioned discrimination against polygamous loving relationships no different than state-sanctioned discrimination against interracial marriage prior to Loving v. Virginia? Are you no better than a bigot like Bull Connor?

3. Isn't it always progress when we give more rights rather than deny them? Doesn't our Constitution protect minority rights from the tyranny of the majority?

I'll give my viewpoint: I think polygamy is unfair because it caters only to men. Why is it that men get to have all the wives, but women can't have more than one husband? I also believe polygamy hurts women because it makes them highly jealous and competitive with each other (tell me that doesn't happen). Furthermore, polygamy exists in cultures where the men are domineering and the wives exist to serve their husband's ego.

Thoughts?

And 4. What's your phobia? Sounds to me like your condemnation of polygamy is more about an "ick factor" based on preconditioned prejudices and pair-normative social conditioning than any logical argument.

In the end, love conquers hate.

(how'd I do same-sex proponents? Did I do your rhetoric justice?)

 

[yolland]

'pair-normative social conditioning' was rather funny

I thought the issue here was whether polygamous relationships should be criminalized, not whether the state should recognize polygamous marriages.

the federal lawsuit does not call for plural marriages to be recognized by the state. Instead, it asks for polygamy between consenting adults like his clients, Kody Brown and his wives, to no longer be considered a crime.

 

[AchtungBono]

I don't understand why they would be investigated and not protected.

Polygamy, which was rampant in the bible and acceptable, and is a common way of life in many places in the world (and in some parts of the United States) is outlawed, illegal and subject to investigation while Homosexuality, which is condemmed in the bible, is fully protected and championed and god-help-you if you say anything against it....

I don't think there would be the same reaction if it were a reality show concerning a GLBT family.

So what's the difference? Why investigate and condemm one without investigating and condemming the other?

I don't want to be argumentative- I want to understand.

 

[BVS]

I don't understand why they would be investigated and not protected.

Polygamy, which was rampant in the bible and acceptable, and is a common way of life in many places in the world (and in some parts of the United States) is outlawed, illegal and subject to investigation while Homosexuality, which is condemmed in the bible, is fully protected and championed and god-help-you if you say anything against it....

I don't think there would be the same reaction if it were a reality show concerning a GLBT family.

So what's the difference? Why investigate and condemm one without investigating and condemming the other?

I don't want to be argumentative- I want to understand.

I thought you watched Fox News... homosexuality is being fully protected and championed? Since when?

How many gay married couples do you see on reality TV? Being that it's ILLEGAL in most states, probably very few right?

So what exactly is your question?

 

[Pearl]

I don't understand why they would be investigated and not protected.

Polygamy, which was rampant in the bible and acceptable, and is a common way of life in many places in the world (and in some parts of the United States) is outlawed, illegal and subject to investigation while Homosexuality, which is condemmed in the bible, is fully protected and championed and god-help-you if you say anything against it....

I don't think there would be the same reaction if it were a reality show concerning a GLBT family.

So what's the difference? Why investigate and condemm one without investigating and condemming the other?

I don't want to be argumentative- I want to understand.

Slavery is rampant and accepted in the Bible, so does that make it acceptable?

Come to think of it, polygamy can be like slavery, since many women are forced into the marriages and have to be completely obedient to their husbands. If they were allowed to speak up more, those wives would leave the polygamous marriage and find themselves a husband they could have all to themselves.

Here's how Malaysians and Indonesians see the practice:

In the survey coordinated by two German-based cultural organizations, 86.5 percent of 1,496 Indonesians interviewed and 72.7 percent of 1,060 Malaysians said they were against polygamy. More females opposed polygamy compared to males, who are permitted four wives under Islamic law.
The findings indicate that opinions among the young in both Muslim-majority nations "have shifted from the traditional viewpoint that sees polygamy as an Islamic precept," according to a survey summary released Monday by the Goeth-Institut and the Friedrich Naumann Foundation for Freedom.
The all-Muslim respondents who participated in face-to-face interviews last October and November were from 15 to 25 years old.
Indonesia and Malaysia have Southeast Asia's largest Muslim populations, and polygamy has become widely debated in both countries in recent years. Women's groups say many men who enter polygamous marriages neglect their existing wives and children financially and emotionally.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/12/malaysia-polygamy-views-poll_n_895544.html

My concern over polygamy is that not only does it hurt women, but that religious groups will fight for the right for polygamous marriages. And they could win since it has been around for ages, common in other countries, and is sanctioned by religion. Plus, wouldn't marriage be a joke if someone could have as many spouses as they want?

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I have a problem with polygamy if it involves underage/teen/young girls. Other than that it's the women making that marriage choice (unless it's some sort of unlawful/illegal coercion), so how is that any different than any marriage choice that any woman can make?

We can't always go around trying to legally protect women from themselves or from men. As much as we might want to sometimes. Like Liesje said earlier- perhaps not a healthy sense of self, no sense of self.

Another thing I couldn't stomach on Sister Wives-when he told one of the wives that just the thought of her with another man was so degrading. I think that was the word he used. I think he did say that he realized that was a double standard, not sure. I'd have to see the episode again. That attitude certainly does have a sexist double standard. I don't know if his attitude exemplifies the attitude of most men who have multiple wives.

 

[INDY500]

Why are we assuming all polygamous relationships will involve members of the opposite sex? Can't they be same-sex as well?

 

[anitram]

Polygamy, which was rampant in the bible and acceptable, while Homosexuality, which is condemmed in the bible

Because we, thankfully, do not live in a Christian theocracy, and the Bible does not inform secular laws.

This is to say nothing of the sorts of things that were rampant and acceptable in the Bible which we would justly condemn today.

 

[BVS]

Why are we assuming all polygamous relationships will involve members of the opposite sex? Can't they be same-sex as well?

Well your bigotry has made it so that they can't even marry one let alone several.

Anyways have you met any homosexuals that are THAT selfish?

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Why are we assuming all polygamous relationships will involve members of the opposite sex? Can't they be same-sex as well?

Well it certainly is interesting that you don't see gay polygamists. I've never heard of any.

 

[INDY500]

Well it certainly is interesting that you don't see gay polygamists. I've never heard of any.

You're quite right about that. Probably not a coincidence that cultures that allow for polygamy tend not to tolerate homosexuality. And vice versa I suppose.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Maybe many gay people are just into a committed relationship/marriage with just one person. I don't see any fight in the gay community for the right to marry more than one person.