The Cure For Shyness

[Pearl]

But less socially proficient participants performed significantly better on oxytocin, with their empathetic powers performance identical to that of the more outgoing participants.
Prof Jennifer Bartz, of the Mount Sinai School of Medicine, said: "Oxytocin is widely believed to make all people more empathetic and understanding of others.
"Our study contradicts that. Instead, oxytocin appears to be helpful only for those who are less socially proficient.
"Our data show that oxytocin selectively improves social cognition in people who are less socially proficient, but had little impact on more socially proficient individuals.
"While more research is required, these results highlight the potential oxytocin holds for treating social deficits in people with disorders marked by deficits in social functioning like autism."

Oxytocin – the love hormone – could cure shyness - Telegraph

I'm a shy person, and reading this article made me wonder - would I want to be cured of my social problem?

I'm not sure. On one hand, I would like to be more socially at ease and not clam up often. But on the other, I feel like rebelling against society's view of shy people - we have no personality, we're snobs, we only care about ourselves, etc. I think shyness should be seen as not a big deal by our loud mouth world. I mean, the world could use some peace and quiet now and then.

Thoughts?

 

[BVS]

I first thought it said "oxycontin" and I was like, duh being high usually does cure shyness.

 

[AliEnvy]

Having sex raises oxytocin naturally.

The organic cure for shyness is having sex. Figures.

 

[bigjohn2441]

i thought it was alcohol? always worked for me

 

[BVS]

Having sex raises oxytocin naturally.

The organic cure for shyness is having sex. Figures.

Then it's the chicken and egg debate...

If you're too shy ever to get someone to actually have sex with you to begin with then how do you have the sex that will cure your shyness?

 

[the iron horse]

Oxytocin – the love hormone – could cure shyness - Telegraph

I'm a shy person, and reading this article made me wonder - would I want to be cured of my social problem?

I'm not sure. On one hand, I would like to be more socially at ease and not clam up often. But on the other, I feel like rebelling against society's view of shy people - we have no personality, we're snobs, we only care about ourselves, etc. I think shyness should be seen as not a big deal by our loud mouth world. I mean, the world could use some peace and quiet now and then.

Thoughts?

-Enjoy life

-Sieze the day

-Don't fret

-Pray in the Hymns of the Silence



Take care

 

[coolian2]

he's a bot, right?

 

[BVS]

It's the only explanation...

 

[Kieran McConville]

All personality quirks and non-mainstream ways of life are pathologies to be diagnosed, medicated and smoothed out, the way we always airbrushed pantless Uncle Chester from the family gatherings.

 

[indigo tree]

i thought it was alcohol? always worked for me

I drinking my "shy-away" stuff right now: red wine.

I mean, the world could use some peace and quiet now and then.

Yes. It's frustrating being shy, to be sure.

 

[BVS]

I was an extremely extroverted kid, then became painfully shy in my pre-teen years and then became somewhat extroverted again late teens.

Either extreme is tough. I've found that some still perceive me as shy at times when I'm just trying to listen and take it in, and Pearl is right some take it the wrong way. For me it really depends on my environment as to "what" I am.

 

[Jive Turkey]

I was having a (slightly alcohol induced) conversation about a similar topic this past weekend. It's what Kieran was getting at in his post. All these personality 'disorders' are too readily diagnosed and treated these days. What ever happened to old fashion personality types? I for one dont want to live in a world where everyone is even keeled and boring. If someone is a little shy, so be it. If someone is a little hyper, good for them. There should be distribution of personalities in society. Why they feel they need to normalize it is beyond me. Unless it's keeping someone from functioning, just leave them alone

 

[BVS]

I was having a (slightly alcohol induced) conversation about a similar topic this past weekend. It's what Kieran was getting at in his post. All these personality 'disorders' are too readily diagnosed and treated these days. What ever happened to old fashion personality types? I for one dont want to live in a world where everyone is even keeled and boring. If someone is a little shy, so be it. If someone is a little hyper, good for them. There should be distribution of personalities in society. Why they feel they need to normalize it is beyond me. Unless it's keeping someone from functioning, just leave them alone

I fully agree... I think it should come down to a question of how functioning that person is if we're talking about prescription medicating.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

I was having a (slightly alcohol induced) conversation about a similar topic this past weekend. It's what Kieran was getting at in his post. All these personality 'disorders' are too readily diagnosed and treated these days. What ever happened to old fashion personality types? I for one dont want to live in a world where everyone is even keeled and boring. If someone is a little shy, so be it. If someone is a little hyper, good for them. There should be distribution of personalities in society. Why they feel they need to normalize it is beyond me. Unless it's keeping someone from functioning, just leave them alone

Thank you. Well said. There's all sorts of ways to help bring people who have difficulty with social interaction out of their shells a bit. If this does work, if it's helpful to those who are severely affected in this area, fine, that's their choice. But yeah, we shouldn't just run to medication as our first means of solving any sort of problem.

Count me in amongst the incredibly shy as a child. Got the exact same stereotypes that Pearl alluded to thrown at me, and on report cards teachers always put down the old "Needs to speak up more often in class" thing. I'm still a fairly quiet person overall, but I have greatly improved in my social interactions over the years. I guess I just like to feel comfortable around somebody before I start yapping on about stuff, like to know they'll actually be interested in what I have to say. Much admiration for people who are outgoing and able to start up a conversation with anybody that crosses their path, who are honest and upfront about things-sometimes I do wish I had some of those abilities. But for the most part, I dunno, I'm perfectly happy with the way I am .

Angela

 

[Kieran McConville]

As a young child I was quite shy. And as a matter of fact I still am, but as a high functioning freak, I can hide it when need be. What I cannot hide is the boredom and mistrust I feel of those who choose to express themselves loudly, at length, on a plane of banality to which I would not ever want to aspire.

 

[AliEnvy]

All these personality 'disorders' are too readily diagnosed and treated these days.

$$cha-ching$$

Who wants beige when we can have all the colours of the palette? We should all embrace our inner freaks.

 

[UberBeaver]

As a young child I was quite shy. And as a matter of fact I still am, but as a high functioning freak, I can hide it when need be. What I cannot hide is the boredom and mistrust I feel of those who choose to express themselves loudly, at length, on a plane of banality to which I would not ever want to aspire.

Amen.

I was shy, still kinda am. But whatever. It is who I am. Plus, being somewhat anti-social allows people to explore other things. I find that lots of artists, writers, etc are shy and awkward, and it probably has to do with a feeling that they cannot express themselves properly and don't want to be misunderstood, and disliked as a result of it.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I think shyness is only "bad" if it's crippling. Other than that people should embrace it and not try to medicate it away. Medicating your personality can just create so many other problems. I think some people are more shy and introverted by nature and it doesn't have much to do with upbringing or birth order or any of that stuff.

I prefer introverts. Extroverts just show you everything and there's no mystery. Extreme extroverts can be very obnoxious.

 

[AliEnvy]

Not if you stuff them full of Ritalin®.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

We sound like

 

[UberBeaver]

You're being glib, Mrs. Springsteen.

 

[Jive Turkey]

God Dammit, Beav. You stole my post

 

[ShipOfFools]

I am a very shy person, and I have social anxiety. This has led to me avoiding people.

So I guess my shyness leads to me not being very high functioning. It's something I'm working on improving, though.

 

[ShipOfFools]

I am a very shy person, and I have social anxiety. This has led to me avoiding people.

So I guess my shyness leads to me not being very high functioning. It's something I'm working on improving, though.

 

[Kieran McConville]

I use the phrase 'high functioning' with tongue firmly in cheek, of course. I just love the language of pathology, guys.

My actual level of shyness might approach joerags levels, but without the self-loathing. Or, it might not. I mean, who's to know?

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

what's wrong with being socially awkward? what ever happened to allowing someone to "find themselves?"

life is full of things that are unfair. it's how you learn to deal that makes you who you are.

 

[financeguy]

-Enjoy life

-Sieze the day

-Don't fret

-Pray in the Hymns of the Silence



Take care

Press play>>>

 

[anitram]

Everyone is awkward in their own way.

I once read a fantastic book on introverts/extroverts, the premise of which was that we mistakenly identify everyone who is shy as an introvert. The author argued that the correct way to look at it is to ask yourself how you re-fuel? Do you need significant alone time to get energized or do you draw energy from crowds and being around people. Anyway, I thought it was an interesting concept.

I would consider myself to be more introvert than extrovert (though probably just so) and introversion is something that you can train yourself to overcome to a degree, if you so desire, and without meds. But it requires that you put yourself in situations that you find extremely uncomfortable. I still remember how painful I found the concept of networking years ago at that first cocktail party. Now, it's second nature - still not something that I love doing but it's something that I'm proficient at and something that no longer causes me stress.

 

[VintagePunk]

I agree with the posts that mention the harm of pathologizing normal behaviours or personality traits. So does a large portion of the mental health field. Using proper diagnostic criteria, two of the main questions asked for almost any disorder is "does this negatively impact your daily functioning?" and "how often does it impact your daily functioning?" This creates a distinction between those who experience a little shyness in social situations but generally manage fine, and others who nearly have an anxiety attack at the thought of putting themselves into a social situation.

 

[financeguy]

Everyone is awkward in their own way.

I once read a fantastic book on introverts/extroverts, the premise of which was that we mistakenly identify everyone who is shy as an introvert. The author argued that the correct way to look at it is to ask yourself how you re-fuel? Do you need significant alone time to get energized or do you draw energy from crowds and being around people. Anyway, I thought it was an interesting concept.

Yes and I've found often that the 'life and soul of the party' types need time on their own as well. Just a bit less time, perhaps, than introverts. No-one is fully on all the time. I was joshing with friends over registering on a dating site a while back, so one asked "what did you write in your description, did you say you're outgoing, etc"? I said "why the heck would I put that as I'm not outgoing", he said "well, you seem outgoing when you're drinking with us". So perhaps there is situational introversion and extroversion.

But extroverts don't register on dating sites, do they? Certainly whenever I've done one of those online personality tests it pegs me as an introvert.

I really should make more of an effort in terms of joining things like Toastmasters and clubs (whether of the professonal networking or social type) but its not shyness that stops me doing these things, it's laziness, basically.