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Old 10-03-2011, 09:35 AM   #181
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But dressing slutty would add an extra attraction factor on top of that psychopathic mentality, and that's all I'm trying to say.
But that's not necessarily correct. I had this talk with my husband last night. People and it seems guys in particular (ones that are not rapists) seem to view rape as being about sex and it's not. They want to attribute the rape or the "attraction" to some sexual aspect of how the victim is dressed or acts and I just don't believe that is correct unless there is some data to back it up.
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Old 10-03-2011, 10:40 AM   #182
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There isn't any data to back it up. Data backs up the opposite.

I don't know why that is still an issue in 2011, and it is so extremely depressing.
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:04 AM   #183
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Slut Walk in NYC yesterday

SlutWalk NYC: Thousands March To End Sexual Violence, Shaming Of Victims: Gothamist



One woman, Holly Meyer, explained why she was marching in a post on the Daily Kos:

One night in January after a lot of dancing at a friend’s house party in Brooklyn, a male neighbor and I made our way back to our building less than a mile away. We’d both consumed alcoholic beverages but nothing unusual for twenty-somethings on a Saturday night. My roommate had a new love interest at home with him, so to give him some privacy I went back to the neighbor’s apartment to crash, which I’d done several times before. I felt safe going back there as I’d spent a lot of time with this neighbor in a Will & Grace, Glee-watching, Katy Perry-listening kind of way. He’d had a homosexual relationship for more than a year prior to our being neighbors and for all intents and purposes I thought of him and treated him like a gay, male friend.

The next thing I know I’m feeling my pants being pulled down off my body. I heard the neighbor mutter, “Time to take charge of this situation.”

When I finally felt able to tell people what happened, I was asked numerous times about what I had been wearing and if I had anything to drink. The fact that I was wearing grey pants and a black sweater and had consumed alcohol that evening should not have any bearing on what happened to me that night in January."
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:04 AM   #184
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I still find it hard to believe that rape isn't about sex. Sure, the dominance and power over the woman are part of it, but the payoff is most certainly sexual gratification. Seems naive to think otherwise
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:07 AM   #185
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You can so some research. I'm not naive about it, and I think that's an unfair comment too. I've volunteered at a rape crisis center and I also studied it in college as part of my major. The sexual gratification comes from all of it, not just the sex act.

If rape was just about sex then every horny guy would/could be a rapist. Surely you don't believe that, do you? I don't.
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:11 AM   #186
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Some murderers get sexual gratification from that. Doesn't mean that all men could be murderers. I fail to see the connection you're trying to make. Its like saying that a foot fetish isnt about sex. It is. It's how they get off
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:38 AM   #187
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There isn't any data to back it up. Data backs up the opposite.

I don't know why that is still an issue in 2011, and it is so extremely depressing.

It is
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:39 AM   #188
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Some murderers get sexual gratification from that. Doesn't mean that all men could be murderers. I fail to see the connection you're trying to make. Its like saying that a foot fetish isnt about sex. It is. It's how they get off
I fail to see this connection....

The sexual gratification is from asserting power and control during the assault, not just penetration. If it were only about having sex/penetration, then rapists would not need to, you know,...rape. They could just have normal, consensual sex and get pleasure from it like everyone else.
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:08 PM   #189
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It's a means to an end and unequivocally linked to sex. But you keep saying 'it's not about sex'. Of course it is. Just like everything from a shoe fetish to pedophilia to necrophilia are all ultimately about sex. They're sexual perversions. They're a means to sexual gratification. In some cases the only means. To deny sex is the driving force is silly
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:14 PM   #190
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Now we're "silly"? Then all the research is too.

That's it, I'm done with it.
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:30 PM   #191
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It's a means to an end and unequivocally linked to sex. But you keep saying 'it's not about sex'. Of course it is. Just like everything from a shoe fetish to pedophilia to necrophilia are all ultimately about sex. They're sexual perversions. They're a means to sexual gratification. In some cases the only means. To deny sex is the driving force is silly
I guess we have a different idea of what "sex" is. To me "sex" is sexual intercourse. People penetrating each other. That is not the "driving force" of a rapist, unless you can answer our questions of why all men/people aren't rapists, or the reverse why rapists are not satisfied with consensual sex if simply penetrating someone is their driving force. It is because a rapist gets off on overpowering someone and forcing submission, not "sex" as in penetration. Some can't even get it up unless they're physically assaulting or strangling someone at the same time. If just having sex is the driving force, then why do they need the assault just to get it up?
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:48 PM   #192
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That's it, I'm done with it.
If you need to be handled with kid gloves in order to not get upset, then maybe that's a good idea.
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:54 PM   #193
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I guess we have a different idea of what "sex" is. To me "sex" is sexual intercourse. People penetrating each other. That is not the "driving force" of a rapist, unless you can answer our questions of why all men/people aren't rapists, or the reverse why rapists are not satisfied with consensual sex if simply penetrating someone is their driving force. It is because a rapist gets off on overpowering someone and forcing submission, not "sex" as in penetration. Some can't even get it up unless they're physically assaulting or strangling someone at the same time. If just having sex is the driving force, then why do they need the assault just to get it up?
Why don't all men have foot fetishes? You said yourself that some men need to strangle someone to get it up. What do you think that compulsion is? What do you think they're doing with it after they get it up? Somewhere along the line in their life, physical violence became associated with sexual gratification. They need one to achieve the other. The payoff is ejaculation. If that's not sexual, I don't know what is
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:03 PM   #194
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Sorry I'm lost
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:24 PM   #195
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Sorry I'm lost
You seem to be trying to disassociate rape with sex. I'm showing that is inextricably linked. Maybe we're saying the same thing in different ways
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