RI School Bans Father Daughter Dances - Page 7 - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Free Your Mind
Click Here to Login
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 09-26-2012, 08:09 PM   #91
Blue Crack Addict
 
Liesje's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the dog house
Posts: 19,557
Local Time: 12:30 AM
People just need to do what makes sense for them and not be so concerned with what other people do or don't do (that goes both ways).
__________________

__________________
Liesje is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 08:29 PM   #92
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
maycocksean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Most Important State in the Union
Posts: 4,882
Local Time: 12:30 AM
Anybody actually interested in hearing a different point of view on this?
__________________

__________________
maycocksean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 09:31 PM   #93
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
Pearl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 5,653
Local Time: 01:30 AM
From what I know about you, Sean, you wouldn't be so harsh and judgmental as some of the people we are complaining about here. So fire away...
__________________
Pearl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 09:38 PM   #94
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
maycocksean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Most Important State in the Union
Posts: 4,882
Local Time: 12:30 AM
Truth be told, I have no judgments.

There are choices that I've made in my life that make me a bit. . .unusual. . .but I'm okay with that. I understand what I've "missed out" on but for me that doesn't outweigh what I feel I've gained. But I don't think less of anyone who made a different choice.

That said, as a person who made the choice so many people apparently find virtually insane, I do feel a teeny bit judged myself.

I'd be happy to share my perspective but I don't know that I'd bother unless I felt that people were really interested in hearing it.
__________________
maycocksean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 09:50 PM   #95
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
Pearl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 5,653
Local Time: 01:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by maycocksean View Post
Truth be told, I have no judgments.

There are choices that I've made in my life that make me a bit. . .unusual. . .but I'm okay with that. I understand what I've "missed out" on but for me that doesn't outweigh what I feel I've gained. But I don't think less of anyone who made a different choice.

That said, as a person who made the choice so many people apparently find virtually insane, I do feel a teeny bit judged myself.

I'd be happy to share my perspective but I don't know that I'd bother unless I felt that people were really interested in hearing it.
I don't judge people who choose to abstain from sex until marriage. That is their decision, their lives, their bodies, their sexuality. Let them be.

What I don't like is how some of these people make no secret that they feel anyone who does not save sex for marriage is promiscuous, lacks self-respect, is miserable and will never find happiness in their lives. I am not having one-night stands every weekend (I actually could never do one-night stands, for the record), I am not miserable and I have decent self-esteem. I also know plenty of people who were having sex before marriage with people they did not marry, and they are happily married to the people who don't mind about their past.

Like I've already said in this thread, there is a lot of gray in this issue that some abstinence-only people fail to realize. That is my only problem.
__________________
Pearl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 07:15 AM   #96
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
maycocksean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Most Important State in the Union
Posts: 4,882
Local Time: 12:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pearl View Post
I don't judge people who choose to abstain from sex until marriage. That is their decision, their lives, their bodies, their sexuality. Let them be.

What I don't like is how some of these people make no secret that they feel anyone who does not save sex for marriage is promiscuous, lacks self-respect, is miserable and will never find happiness in their lives. I am not having one-night stands every weekend (I actually could never do one-night stands, for the record), I am not miserable and I have decent self-esteem. I also know plenty of people who were having sex before marriage with people they did not marry, and they are happily married to the people who don't mind about their past.

Like I've already said in this thread, there is a lot of gray in this issue that some abstinence-only people fail to realize. That is my only problem.
I agree. It's unfortunate that some people feel that their choices/viewpoint in life are only valid to the extent that they can prove the invalidity of others choices/viewpoints.

That said I sometimes also get the sense that it's no longer possible to suggest that one might have a viewpoint/choice that might be beneficial for people in general than just the individual without it being cast as a judgment and offense. I happen to believe that the choices I've made are good choices in general, not just for me personally. But that doesn't translate into looking down on or judging other people. If there is no middle ground--if all we have is either "I'm right, happy, and enlightened and you are wrong, miserable, and benighted" or "My choice is right for me only, I am forbidden from suggesting that anything can be generalized to most/all people" then I think we all lose out.
__________________
maycocksean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 09:33 AM   #97
Blue Crack Addict
 
Liesje's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the dog house
Posts: 19,557
Local Time: 12:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pearl View Post

What I don't like is how some of these people make no secret that they feel anyone who does not save sex for marriage is promiscuous, lacks self-respect, is miserable and will never find happiness in their lives.
I think that the amount of people who really feel this way is in the minority. I have grown up and work in a pretty conservative Christian community and you won't find many people age 50 or under that still adhere to this line of thinking, and generally the people that do have issues that go way beyond how they feel about pre-marrital sex!
__________________
Liesje is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 10:11 AM   #98
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
Pearl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 5,653
Local Time: 01:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liesje View Post
I think that the amount of people who really feel this way is in the minority. I have grown up and work in a pretty conservative Christian community and you won't find many people age 50 or under that still adhere to this line of thinking, and generally the people that do have issues that go way beyond how they feel about pre-marrital sex!
If they are in the minority, then that's great. And I agree, anyone who does think like that does have issues, more like a good case of being ignorant and self-centered.
__________________
Pearl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 10:13 AM   #99
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,998
Local Time: 12:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by maycocksean

I agree. It's unfortunate that some people feel that their choices/viewpoint in life are only valid to the extent that they can prove the invalidity of others choices/viewpoints.
Yep. I'd like to hear what you have to say, no judgment from me.
__________________
MrsSpringsteen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 12:43 PM   #100
Blue Crack Addict
 
anitram's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NY
Posts: 16,297
Local Time: 12:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by maycocksean View Post

That said I sometimes also get the sense that it's no longer possible to suggest that one might have a viewpoint/choice that might be beneficial for people in general than just the individual without it being cast as a judgment and offense. I happen to believe that the choices I've made are good choices in general, not just for me personally.
I think it depends largely on the topic that we're discussing. It's very easy to say that generally speaking, certain things are better for most people (like being honest or not smoking, for example). But when you get to things which are essentially judgment calls or subjective calls without a quantifiable measuring stick, it gets a lot more difficult.
__________________
anitram is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 01:00 PM   #101
Blue Crack Supplier
 
Irvine511's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 30,499
Local Time: 12:30 AM
i think there are many reasons to abstain from sex before marriage especially if one holds that as a value -- religious or otherwise. in the same way that some people choose to be vegetarian or vegan.

i don't think, however, that abstinence should be recommended as a way to avoid unwanted pregnancy or STDs. as that doesn't work.

Teen births map shows conservative states have most teen moms. - Slate Magazine

fear is not a reason to wait until marriage.

i'm sure Sean, and others, have lots of reasons that have nothing to do with fear. and that, to me, is a much more compelling reason. do it because you want to, not because you're scared not to.
__________________
Irvine511 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 02:53 PM   #102
Blue Crack Distributor
 
corianderstem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 63,731
Local Time: 09:30 PM
I completely agree with anitram.

But I can understand how someone would think that saving one's self for marriage is better for people/society in general, and to think so is not necessarily offensive and judgmental. If you're addressing a specific person and basically telling them "I don't think the way you live your life is okay because that's not how I live my life," well, that's offensive and judgmental because it's none of your business.

And I'd say if you're trying to instill these values into your children but make it so hard-line (aka singing a pledge of purity or somesuch thing) that they will feel like a crushing failure if they do not live up to such standards, I think that's not okay. Virginity is not the end-all, be-all of a woman's (or a man's, but no one ever talks about the men in these scenarios, Brothers Jonai aside) worth.
__________________
corianderstem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 04:17 PM   #103
Blue Crack Distributor
 
corianderstem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 63,731
Local Time: 09:30 PM
(I'm not sure how coherent my point is in that post. I hope I make a lick of sense. )
__________________
corianderstem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 04:20 PM   #104
Blue Crack Addict
 
Moonlit_Angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: In a dimension known as the Twilight Zone...do de doo doo, do de doo doo...
Posts: 19,272
Local Time: 11:30 PM
Made sense to me, Cori . I fully agree with you.

And yeah, Sean, share away, I'm definitely interested to hear your thoughts on the topic.
__________________
Moonlit_Angel is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 04:51 PM   #105
ONE
love, blood, life
 
Jive Turkey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 13,646
Local Time: 12:30 AM
I'm totally going to judge you, Sean. Go ahead
__________________

__________________
Jive Turkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:30 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com