Pat Robertson Says Divorcing A Spouse With Alzheimer's Is Justifiable - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Free Your Mind
Click Here to Login
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 09-17-2011, 09:31 AM   #1
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,974
Local Time: 12:19 AM
Pat Robertson Says Divorcing A Spouse With Alzheimer's Is Justifiable

(AP)Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson told his "700 Club" viewers that divorcing a spouse with Alzheimer's is justifiable because the disease is "a kind of death."

During the portion of the show where the one-time Republican presidential candidate takes questions from viewers, Robertson was asked what advice a man should give to a friend who began seeing another woman after his wife started suffering from the incurable neurological disorder.

"I know it sounds cruel, but if he's going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her," Robertson said.

The chairman of the Christian Broadcasting Network, which airs the "700 Club," said he wouldn't "put a guilt trip" on anyone who divorces a spouse who suffers from the illness, but added, "Get some ethicist besides me to give you the answer."

Most Christian denominations at least discourage divorce, citing Jesus' words in the Gospel of Mark that equate divorce and remarriage with adultery.

Terry Meeuwsen, Robertson's co-host, asked him about couples' marriage vows to take care of each other "for better or for worse" and "in sickness and in health."

"If you respect that vow, you say 'til death do us part,'" Robertson said during the Tuesday broadcast. "This is a kind of death."

A network spokesman said Wednesday that Robertson had no further statement.

Divorce is uncommon among couples where one partner is suffering from Alzheimer's, said Beth Kallmyer, director of constituent services for the Alzheimer's Association, which provides resources to sufferers and their families.

"We don't hear a lot of people saying 'I'm going to get divorced,'" she told The Associated Press. "Families typically respond the way they do to any other fatal disease."

The stress can be significant in marriages though, Kallmyer said, because it results in the gradual loss of a person's mental faculties.

"The caregiving can be really stressful on a couple of levels," she said. "There's the physical level. There's also the emotional level of feeling like you're losing that person you love."

As a result, she said, it's important for couples to make decisions about care together in the early stages of the illness, when its effects aren't as prominent.
__________________

__________________
MrsSpringsteen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2011, 10:28 AM   #2
BVS
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BVS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: between my head and heart
Posts: 40,655
Local Time: 11:19 PM
Nothing but a false prophet...
__________________

__________________
BVS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2011, 10:42 AM   #3
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
BonosSaint's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 3,566
Local Time: 01:19 AM
I'm not sure the vow reads "until kind of death do us part" if you value that vow.

I understand the difficulty. I understand the agony (even the inconvenience) of caring for someone who no longer recognizes you or has become someone you can no longer recognize. I don't make individual judgments on people's choices like that. But I'm not sure I would be giving a blanket blessing for the divorce.
__________________
BonosSaint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2011, 10:59 AM   #4
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: London/Sydney
Posts: 6,608
Local Time: 06:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BVS View Post
Nothing but a false prophet...
Not even.
__________________
Earnie Shavers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2011, 11:08 AM   #5
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,974
Local Time: 12:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonosSaint View Post

I understand the difficulty. I understand the agony (even the inconvenience) of caring for someone who no longer recognizes you or has become someone you can no longer recognize. I don't make individual judgments on people's choices like that. But I'm not sure I would be giving a blanket blessing for the divorce.

I understand it as much as I can right now..my uncle had it but I didn't have to care for him. I would imagine that having to do that is agony beyond imagination. I don't have the right to judge anyone who is in such a position.

I think you could argue that there are many forms of "death" other than Alzheimer's, obviously Alzheimer's is the extreme. So where do you draw the line, what mental or physical incapacities justify divorce?

I saw a news story on this a few nights ago and a couple that had been married 60 years or something like that. She has Alzheimer's and he got in bed with her and was hugging her and singing to her and she knew the song and started singing along. I just thought to myself, now THAT is love.
__________________
MrsSpringsteen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2011, 07:05 PM   #6
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
BonosSaint's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 3,566
Local Time: 01:19 AM
I respect and honor that kind of commitment. That is the kind of commitment I strive for in my personal relationships (I often fall short). And the reason I keep my number of close relationships few and dear to me.

But I'm not in that situation. Maybe the spouses cannot provide any more than they already have. There are always backstories we don't know. I don't think though that the healthier spouse can escape that walking away is an abandonment. There are things someone can provide to the patient even if she/he does not recognize the spouse or is fading away from all the spouse knew about them. Like touch, sound, kindness.

Do you have dispensation to walk away from a child? And certainly as Mrs. S presented, what more loopholes are there for walking away?
__________________
BonosSaint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 02:46 AM   #7
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Strong Badia
Posts: 3,429
Local Time: 05:19 AM
Ordinarily I think this guy's a loon who I can't really stand. But at the same time, according to the clips I've seen, he hemmed and hawed in response to a very specific question about a very specific situation, and admitted that it was difficult, before going on to say that if someone has already begun seeing someone else, the least he should do is make sure that his wife is cared for in all legal ways before he goes through with a divorce.

This is a far cry from giving out blanket divorces.
__________________
nathan1977 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 06:44 AM   #8
BVS
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BVS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: between my head and heart
Posts: 40,655
Local Time: 11:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by nathan1977 View Post
Ordinarily I think this guy's a loon who I can't really stand. But at the same time, according to the clips I've seen, he hemmed and hawed in response to a very specific question about a very specific situation, and admitted that it was difficult, before going on to say that if someone has already begun seeing someone else, the least he should do is make sure that his wife is cared for in all legal ways before he goes through with a divorce.

This is a far cry from giving out blanket divorces.
I don't care if he hemmed and hawed, and I don't care if he admitted it was difficult. For someone to spend as much time as he does going on about the sanctity of marriage to come out and state the divorce was fine despite the fact that it's not supported Biblically is a hypocrite.
__________________
BVS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 06:51 AM   #9
45:33
 
cobl04's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: East Point to Shaolin
Posts: 55,026
Local Time: 04:19 PM
My grandfather divorced my grandmother after she got MS still loved her, made sure she was very well looked after and moved on with his life.
__________________
cobl04 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 10:15 AM   #10
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,974
Local Time: 12:19 AM
Yes I think the "sanctity of marriage" thing comes into play. If you're going to go around constantly preaching about that in order to justify that marriage is only man/woman then I think you'd better take that all the way. Real death would be the only real death. In sickness and in health.

People are probably ultimately better off if someone leaves them just because they get sick or worse-because that's when you know what a person is truly made of. Maybe it just reveals other big underlying flaws in the relationship. I know there are always backstories and all that.
__________________
MrsSpringsteen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 12:18 PM   #11
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
BonosSaint's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 3,566
Local Time: 01:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by nathan1977 View Post
Ordinarily I think this guy's a loon who I can't really stand. But at the same time, according to the clips I've seen, he hemmed and hawed in response to a very specific question about a very specific situation, and admitted that it was difficult, before going on to say that if someone has already begun seeing someone else, the least he should do is make sure that his wife is cared for in all legal ways before he goes through with a divorce.

This is a far cry from giving out blanket divorces.
I understand that he was answering a question about a specific situation.
But did he call it a "kind of a death"? I didn't see the clip. If he did, isn't that "kind of a loophole?" Just wondering if that statement can be interpreted to mean an absolution for divorce in this kind of situation even for someone who isn't already having an affair.


But the fact that Pat Robertson said it isn't really important to me. I don't much care who says something. I thought it made an interesting values discussion.
__________________
BonosSaint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 01:47 PM   #12
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Strong Badia
Posts: 3,429
Local Time: 05:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BVS View Post
I don't care if he hemmed and hawed, and I don't care if he admitted it was difficult. For someone to spend as much time as he does going on about the sanctity of marriage to come out and state the divorce was fine despite the fact that it's not supported Biblically is a hypocrite.
I don't think he said that it was "fine", merely that, if he was going to do it, for God's sake (literally) make sure his wife would be taken care of. A far more pragmatic response than Robertson's been known for in the past. Maybe he's slowly realizing that sometimes the most moral thing you can do is play the cards you're dealt as best you can, and leave the rest to God.
__________________
nathan1977 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 08:02 PM   #13
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
the iron horse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: in a glass of CheerWine
Posts: 3,251
Local Time: 12:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BVS View Post
Nothing but a false prophet...


Agree
__________________
the iron horse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 10:19 PM   #14
Blue Crack Addict
 
deep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: A far distance down.
Posts: 28,501
Local Time: 09:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BVS View Post
false prophet

redundant
__________________
deep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2011, 01:18 AM   #15
Forum Moderator
 
yolland's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 7,471
Local Time: 06:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonosSaint View Post
I don't think though that the healthier spouse can escape that walking away is an abandonment.
Agreed in that I found it rather strange that Robertson apparently considers the technical adultery (can you cheat on a "kind of dead" person? since that's the logic), rather than the literal abandonment of the teminally ill spouse (legally, financially, personally) to be the greater wrong here. Though maybe that's just a difference in how Jewish law vs. (Robertson's version of) Christian ethics prioritizes the obligations in such a case. On the other hand most Alzheimer's patients do wind up in a nursing home eventually, which realistically limits how much personal support the healthy spouse can provide whether s/he wants that or not. It's not really analogous to child abandonment IMO; no one abandons their child out of a feeling that s/he's keeping them from all the other, more rewarding parent/child relationships they need(?) and could be pursuing instead.
__________________

__________________
yolland [at] interference.com


μελετώ αποτυγχάνειν. -- Διογένης της Σινώπης
yolland is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:19 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com