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Old 11-08-2013, 11:12 PM   #31
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I might be imagining things but I thought INDY posted a little while ago about how he came to Niagara Falls and then paid something like $12 for a hamburger and was amazed at the price.
I must admit you have a very good memory. Yes, I cracked that between hotel, food and wine taxes I probably paid for the healthcare of at least 3 Canadians for the year. Pretty sure I also mentioned that how friendly and open everyone was. I enjoy the company of Canadians, I just wish a few of them had a better sense of humor.
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Old 11-20-2013, 10:29 AM   #32
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Born and bread in Ireland, lived and worked in Dublin, London, Sydney and Chicago. Now living and working in Toronto. I can confirm Canadians have a great sense of humor. I'm married to one. I'm also the father of 2 kids, soon to be three.

Perhaps the humorless Canadians you've encountered are those who live right next door to the US border?
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Old 11-20-2013, 10:43 AM   #33
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As for the article originally posted, impossible to equate a woman's right (or not) to become a mother with a guy's right (or not) to become a father. I'm sure most sane men will agree. If you don't want to be a dad, cover up, have a well oiled reverse gear and leave no man behind.

Where inequality exists is post birth. When I lived and worked in London, there used to be regular marches outside our office by a group called Fathers 4 Justice - website is We Are Fathers4Justice – The Official Campaign Organisation which fights for equal parenting rather than one that greatly favors women.
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Old 11-20-2013, 10:52 AM   #34
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Born and bread in Ireland, lived and worked in Dublin, London, Sydney and Chicago. Now living and working in Toronto. I can confirm Canadians have a great sense of humor. I'm married to one. I'm also the father of 2 kids, soon to be three.

Perhaps the humorless Canadians you've encountered are those who live right next door to the US border?
If Indy has a sense of humour, he certainly does his best not to show it around here. A bit like his sense of morality. He's just fishing.

Glad to hear you're enjoying Toronto. Lots of young Irish folk making the move here. My friend is getting married to one as a matter of fact
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Old 11-20-2013, 11:01 AM   #35
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As for the article originally posted, impossible to equate a woman's right (or not) to become a mother with a guy's right (or not) to become a father. I'm sure most sane men will agree. If you don't want to be a dad, cover up, have a well oiled reverse gear and leave no man behind.
Leave no man behind made me chuckle!

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Where inequality exists is post birth. When I lived and worked in London, there used to be regular marches outside our office by a group called Fathers 4 Justice - website is We Are Fathers4Justice – The Official Campaign Organisation which fights for equal parenting rather than one that greatly favors women.
I've heard a lot about fathers complaining about this. Many times the ex-wife manipulates the court into giving her sole custody, and then brainwashes the kids into thinking their father isn't good enough or doesn't really love them. My mom worked for a divorce lawyer and she heard so many horror stories. Even I heard them when I worked at the office one summer while in high school. And what's funny is that some of those women will be the type who will say what assholes men are, and yet those asshole men are trying to good fathers to their children. Go figure!
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Old 11-20-2013, 11:56 AM   #36
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If Indy has a sense of humour, he certainly does his best not to show it around here. A bit like his sense of morality. He's just fishing.

Glad to hear you're enjoying Toronto. Lots of young Irish folk making the move here. My friend is getting married to one as a matter of fact
I moved here close to 8 years ago. I love it here. May not be a great city for a tourist, but to live here (excluding our erstwhile mayor Mr. Ford), there really are very few places to compare.
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Old 11-20-2013, 12:05 PM   #37
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Leave no man behind made me chuckle!



I've heard a lot about fathers complaining about this. Many times the ex-wife manipulates the court into giving her sole custody, and then brainwashes the kids into thinking their father isn't good enough or doesn't really love them. My mom worked for a divorce lawyer and she heard so many horror stories. Even I heard them when I worked at the office one summer while in high school. And what's funny is that some of those women will be the type who will say what assholes men are, and yet those asshole men are trying to good fathers to their children. Go figure!
Exactly - There are mothers out there who shouldn't be left in charge of boiling a kettle, never mind a child.

That the law so heavily favors the mother from the outset is wrong. It's based on antiquated thoughts - mother gives birth, stays at home with child while dad goes out and works and is somehow seen as a less loving distant figure. Many Dad's are awesome. That they are then punished and reduced to a weekend here or there, a every other Wednesday (if they are lucky) etc. is just wrong. That said, kids need stability - having them shuffled between two homes every week does not provide that.
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Old 11-20-2013, 05:56 PM   #38
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I've seen the opposite where I am. In the relationships I've seen the court favors the parent who is most aggressive about pressing for custody. Because men (again, where I am) often are more fully employed when the children are young they have more money to get good legal counsel, and because men are raised with greater social permission to press hard for a goal they are are more likely to press full custody even when there is no problem with the mother. Whatever those relationship factors are, the courts around here favor the most proactive litigant.

There are dads who are great and those ones usually get half custody where I am. Most custody arrangements are half time, and it takes someone being really aggressive in court to get anything other than that.
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Old 11-20-2013, 06:45 PM   #39
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I've seen the opposite where I am. In the relationships I've seen the court favors the parent who is most aggressive about pressing for custody. Because men (again, where I am) often are more fully employed when the children are young they have more money to get good legal counsel, and because men are raised with greater social permission to press hard for a goal they are are more likely to press full custody even when there is no problem with the mother. Whatever those relationship factors are, the courts around here favor the most proactive litigant.

There are dads who are great and those ones usually get half custody where I am. Most custody arrangements are half time, and it takes someone being really aggressive in court to get anything other than that.
First off, there are many cases where the father fought tooth and nail to see his kids more often, but many courts do favor the mother. I don't know where you live but what happens there is not always the norm for the rest of the world.

Also, I've known quite a few aggressive women in my life. Whether at school, work or just my personal life, I've met plenty of women who weren't afraid to go after what they wanted. I just don't buy into the belief that women in general are whispering mouses and are afraid to assert themselves.

I also don't think that having women socialized as being meek is an excuse for when anything doesn't work out for us. I've also known some women who pull that whole "woe is me, I'm passive because society says I should be". Sorry, but no. That is victimization, not socialization.
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Old 11-20-2013, 07:55 PM   #40
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and because men are raised with greater social permission to press hard for a goal
jesus christ
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Old 11-20-2013, 10:23 PM   #41
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I was gonna say, lol.
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Old 11-21-2013, 10:04 AM   #42
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I'll have to ask my parents if I was raised with greater social permission. I'll check in with my 3 sisters to see if they agree...
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Old 11-21-2013, 11:57 AM   #43
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I believe what the Jeevster is speaking of may be the social construction that also implies that a man with a drive to succeed is simply a man, whereas a woman with an equal drive to succeed is often considered a ballbuster.
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Old 11-21-2013, 12:39 PM   #44
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I believe what the Jeevster is speaking of may be the social construction that also implies that a man with a drive to succeed is simply a man, whereas a woman with an equal drive to succeed is often considered a ballbuster.
She may, but she's made broad, mindboggling generalizations regarding gender issues in the past. It's hard to even consider what she's saying because of that.
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Old 11-21-2013, 12:44 PM   #45
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I just want to know where she lives that is so outside the biased custody norm. I find this quite remarkable.
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