80sU2isBest
Rock n' Roll Doggie Band-aid
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2000
- Messages
- 4,970
Well I find lots of men attractive-and even if I have some sort of fantasy about them that automatically makes it lust and sinful? I just don't think you can regiment and control thought like that. Or that you necessarily should. And honestly I don't think God expects that.
Sure God expects us to control our thoughts. Do you want every thought that enters your head to linger, or do you want to be able to dismiss some of them? Ever have a crazy thought like I had - the thought of "I should shoot a missle" at that car- that just popped into your head out of the blue? Do you want that thought to linger in your head or do you want to dismiss it?
If I'm attracted physically or emotionally to a married man or I fantasize about them that is automatically sinful? No-it's acting on that that is sinful.
Attraction, you can't help. I know a woman who is like a sister to me. She is one of my best friends. She got married to a man who is now one of my best friends as well. I honestly consider her the most beautiful person I have ever seen. However, the fact that she is physically attractive to me doesn't mean I'm going to have sexual thoughts, lust or fantasy about her.
According to the Bible, to lust after a married person is a sin, just as the actual act is. You may not believe the Bible, but i do, so of course, that's the way I'm going to believe.
Lust and fantasy are born from desire, right? A person wouldn't fantasize about sex with someone he didn't desire to have sex with, right?
Well, with that in mind, consider the nature of that desire in the first place. And I'm not talking about a desirous thought that pops up out of nowhere. I am talking about a desire that has been dwelt upon, cultivated enough that it turns into fantasy. Do you think it's morally okay for someone to desire to have sex with someone who is already married to someone else? To desire to have sex with some who has vowed to stay true to another person? To desire to have sex with someone when he knows that if it were found out, it would likely mean the end of the marriage?
And how does the person doing the fantasizing know that they'll never act upon it? How can that person be sure? Fantasizing about it is setting oneself up for committing the actual sin, if God forbid, the opportunity should ever present itself. If a person has trouble just controlling thoughts, how much more trouble would he/she have controlling his/her libido if the opportunity ever presented itself?
I can try with all my might to control that and to not be attracted at all, but I will fail and I have. But I do not act upon it.
Like I said, attraction is something you can't help. But you can certainly avoid dwelling on any lustful thoughts that pop into your mind and thus you also avoid fantasizing.
It's all in how you treat that in your own mind and heart that makes all the difference. Because that will also dictate how you treat the other people involved.
So, if a man allows himself to fantasize about a married woman, how is you going to treat her? How is he going to treat her husband? Don't you think it will affect the way he treats them?
Lust is selfishness- thinking you can do whatever you want, have whatever you want, treat others however you want in order to satisfy whatever it is that you want to satisfy.
For one to allow himself to fantasize about a married woman, someone who is vowed to be true to someone else, that is selfishness. How would that married woman feel if she knew someone was fantasizing about having sex with her? How would her husband feel?