i know we're totally going off topic but i think this is so interesting that i want to respond ... no, i don't think you are less of a human being for that. i think you are exerting a great, almost unnatural degree of self-control. actually having sex involves two willing participants, and there are people who choose not to have sex either because of the unavailability of an appropriate partner or because they do not yet have the correct circumstances in which they feel it is appropriate to have sex with said appropriate partner.
while there are a small amount of people who are genuinely asexual, the vast majority of human beings -- male, female, gay or straight -- are hardwired to want to have sex. i don't think there's anything wrong with that, and since you believe in God (i myself remain agnostic), that's obviously what he wanted us to do. yes, self-control is a good thing, as is the delaying of gratification, but it does strike me as odd this wishing away of "lustful" thoughts. there is an animal aspect of sexuality, the drive itself, that has a critical evolutionary function for the past, what, 65 milllion years -- up until my parent's generation, we lived in a world where children (and mothers) used to die in childbirth, in a world where if you made it to 50 you were doing well, in a world where disease and accidents and plague wiped out millions of people, it really does seem
necessary for the survival of the species for most people to have a very, very strong drive for sexual relations that are about little more than friction for the sake of ejaculation. it seems to me a part of being human.
for example, when looking at men, orgasm and ejaculation are actually two separate things. some people ejaculate with no orgasm, and some people orgasm without ejaculation, but that's either the result of training or dysfunction. sex does feel good, and it feels good so you have incentive to do it again and again and again. men especially when they are younger get frequent erections, and every man has a virtually inexhaustible supply of semen for most of his lifespan. clearly, nature wants us to have sex. where we come in is recognizing the dangers of unregulated sexuality -- the #1 consequence being unwanted, unintended children ... and, imho, that's where most religious instruction against sex outside of marriage actually find their motivation, rather than from God himself -- and we thusly regulate our urges in the same way that we don't eat ice cream and nachos all day everyday.
now, with all that in mind, i think it's entirely possible for people to willingly and happily subjugate their sexual urges, thoughts, impulses, or whatever. you obviously have thought about it and have arrived at an intellectual understanding of the role that sexuality should play in your life. and that is fine. i totally respect that and am impressed at how thoroughly your faith influences your choices. but i also think it would be remiss, 80s, to not recognize the fact that many, many people are unable to exercise the restraint you are able to -- and to exercise that restraint in a way that does no psychological damage.
i suppose my own view is that being sexual is a bit like being a superhero -- and that with great power (and it is a great thing) comes great responsibility. so act accordingly.